ToTW? And what a week it’s been. Back in Pokai, to explain how Trump likes the opposite sex, and how some hashers come with a hidden agenda. On in Wonton. Whilst her dear husband, Stash, was out on trail running for his life, his beloved wife was getting cosy with the beer man – One. Waiting till everyone else had gone, and encouraging the stragglers to - go, go, go, Wonton is heard saying to One – “ hey, a lot of mosquitos here – spray me”. nd when One returns with the spray, Wonton says – “spray on ah, you got cream?” One dutifully finds some cream, only to have Wonton say – “hey ah, my fingers cannot touch – will get rashes, put on for me lah?” And lifting up various parts of her attire, ‘and put here, and here, and here”. And that’s more than enough for, she’s all right…..
PML’sa quick learner, and now it’s time for the Mystery, Mystery Whip. On in Airborne, who calls for last week’s missing person – Comes Quietly. But it seems there were even more MIA? Astronut, Bully, Stash, Ditch, Strapless– all on Mon hash duty? Was it just them, or were their members also missing? Were they doing a circle jerk? They ought to be publicly….. Next, he got Coo Chi Coo to reveal a conversation , about directions for next week’s run – “ It’s in the newsletter dear”, he said. The reply came back “Oh, I never read the newsletter”. From whom? PML gets the charge anyway for her umpteenth down down.
Pressing on, Airborne asks, did anyone have trouble finding Blackmore Drive? Two weeks ago, Airborne received run site directions and instructions to put in the Newsletter, which he dutifully complied with. But then there was a subsequent edit – upload again. And then a 3rd email – “the map is not quite correct.” On in the spatially challenged Wonton…. And for a final charge, it’s on to role reversal (where is this going?). Now Airborneinforms us he is an engineer, and there are not enough of the fairer sex in his very old profession. Women seem to be able to get to the root of it, he explains. And then last week, in a classic role reversal, we have engineer In & Out, in his transgender gear (reminding Airborne of a dodgy bar he used to frequent), asking anyone who would listen – “Squeeze my tits.” And so on in Mamma San Suzy Wong for drumming up good business for her bloke…
PoTW? Stash had a charge lined up, but he’s been thrown by the beer man chatting up Wonton. But back on track, Stash relates the story about him parking outside the Methodist Girls School, and some grumpy old bstd (a thirsty LCH3 hasher?), complaining loudly that he couldn’t park there and that he would call the LTA and get him charged and towed away! So on in the hares who didn’t have LTA approval. But we have two hares, and just one Pr#ck? And PML instantaneously says – give it to the one with a car. But Stash explains, since Pays 2 Come got lost again tonight, and is off to Goa next week, then surely the deserving one is PML? And assuring all hashers she will take good care of him, here’s to Puck Me Lately, she’s true blue…..
AoB?Tiger Lily calls in Airborne and Juicy Pussy. And the out-circle conversation went something like this: JP – “he’s too soft…” TL – “so help him make it bigger…” “But my hands are full” Why were they born so……
Sweet Thighs gets into the swing of things so to speak, and calls in Tiger Lily – our very own marathon gal. But by now the circle is fully charged and the noise level drowns out the charges, but Tiger takes a down down nonetheless.
Awesome4some bounces in, and asks, how many of you actually ran the trail tonight? Having diligently followed markings all the way, and finally arriving in around 7:50pm, Awesome4some is very pleased to have our GMs running towards her, to congratulate her on returning to the fold. But no, PML is asking, have you seen my Pays 2 Come? She’s the meanest…..
Undeterred, PML calls in Gabby – that would B.I.M.B.O., no. 6, and drink it down, down, down, down…..
On in Juicy Pussy. This Sunday there are two important things – 1/ It’s the Sunday hash, returning to where Penile Extension lost his pants (as Cherry Picker calls for a JP re-enactment _), and it’s Strapless’ and Rooning Sh#t’s anniversary. And it transpires thatJP, as the Sunday hare, has set an anniversary trail near the aging hasher’s homes. Seems they’ve been in wedded bliss longer thanJP has been alive! Anyway, get yourselves to Springleaf for a really good run – let’s give the 40th anniversary boys a note – they’re alright, they’re alright…
With Mr. Hoe serving up, it’s 9:04pm and an excellent job by the hares and GMs in great hashing country, and so on, on, on, and just one more sleep to the DnD…”
Run 1912 Circle Report
Friday 9th November 2018
Run Site: Blackmore Drive
Hares: 8.24 & Puck Me Lately
On-on: On site: Mr Hoe
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 62 of which 48 Members (22 F, 26 M)
Guests & Returnees: 10 (4F, 6 M)
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
ECO-FRIENDLY LCHHH… Everyone must be aware now that disposable plastics are becoming public enemy No 1. GMs Puck Me Lately wants LCHHH to set an example to this over-consuming Republic. One way to do it is for members to follow the good example of Astronut, Cherry Picker and Mother Mary, joined now by Ditch & Stash, BYO mug … or bottle warmer.
With all the stragglers finally back in from the drinks stop, it’s time for the Blackmore circle up at 8:10pm. The Puck family call the big circle to order, and its welcome to run #1912. On in the hares – 8:24 and stay in Puck Me Latelyfor the run verdict? Not enough shiggy (what run did they do?), too dry, down the drain, up the track, almost a technical hash sh#t, but the drinks stop has saved ‘em, and not bad for a Bimbo, and so Sh#tty trail is drowned out by, “they ought to be publicly….”
And as PML is whispering to Puck Smuggler, it’s pretty obvious our Grand Mattress has forgotten the sequence, again. B.I.M.B.O….
PSof course doesn’t forget the virgins, and on in Jennifer, Jenna, Leslie & Thomas. The very polite virgins promise to come back. We’ve got virgins……
PML calls for the Hash Cash, but surely the disoriented one means the guests? And in they pile, Fatty & Sweaty, Photocopulator, Vivienne, Cherry Popper, Chicken Dicken, Morgan, Telecum, Vibrator whilst being instructed by Pokai to hold onto their cups, whether they be B, C or D sized. Here’s to the guests, they’re true blue…. Returnees were Tiger Lily and Buzz Lightyear.- Returnees? inquires PML innocently We just did ‘em, and so it’s B.I.M.B.O….
Restoring order, PS calls for the hare whip, and in bursts a masked Michael Myers (8:24) wielding a knife, as Stick Her Shock announces there are three things necessary to become a Mike Myers victim – 1/ you must be blonde, 2/ have big tits, and 3/ be doing something immoral (how is SHS still alive?). Will the hash ever be safe again, asks PML? Well you’ll have to come to the DnD to find out. And we still need a hare whip says PS! Oh, it’s me, says PML. Tonight I saw something, like, really impressive. Something hard, kind of yellow, a stick one. It was teacher’s chalk says PML. And the teachers soon let PML know they have moved with the times and now use white boards. Admiring her co-hare for whipping out his huge yellow one, he’s all right, he’s all right, he’s got a tiny weenie yellow one, but….
As PS calls for the MW, PMLgets ahead of herself and calls for the MMW? These guys always Puck it up. B.I.M.B.O….. Comes Quietly instructs us there are no excuses on the hash. And as hashers came back from all directions, one is explaining his misdirection due to “I’m just following Strapless”.Trolley Dolly, that’s definitely not an excuse – he’s alright…. And then Wonton with her fan – her excuse was that she gets hot just watching the hashers come in. And finally a Durian Dog look a like – Blur Like Sotong. Durian Dog’s excuse for not being a FRB is because he is getting fat? “Who ate all the pies?…”
Do we have a run next week enquire our GM’s? On in Trolley Dolly and Pokaito announce the TD farewell run. And as TD tries in vain to explain the run site over the premature song about his impending departure,Pokai takes control and does an Ang Moh to Singlish translation – it’s the Old Railway Stn, lah, and Wet Landing will be coharing… details as per front page.