PoKai asked: “What is long, thin and white,and what is short fat and black? The latter, of course, was Pr*ck of the Week, but who was to be the lucky custodian? Sperm off Ice was overheard to say he likes it wet and slippery. Other candidates were Coo Chi Cooand Bagless, who were spotted indulging in voyeurism as Tight Grip bent down to change. Stand in GMs asked Bagless “Why so like that, so long never come?” PoKai then got the applause meter (clap-ometer? – Scribe) fired up and after a short shouting match Bagless was the clear winner. “Please make sure it comes back in good condition, instructed Pokai.
Then it was time for the Mystery Whip…
Airborne put down his clipboard and headlight and called in All the Americans. He declined the opportunity to make even more jokes about POTUS, instead focused on the two American favorite holidays, Independence Day and Thanksgiving. MW said the British swap the dates round and celebrate Thanksgiving when America is enjoying Independence Day. Some British wags in the circle at this point began to sing “Eff off you C*nts, Eff off…” but the MW counterpointed “Here’s to Americans, they’re true blue…”
For the next part of the US history lesson, Airborne looked for a German, and Cherry Picker caught his eye. MW retold the story of the Congressional vote on what should be the national language of the new US. Only by one vote did English win over German. Otherwise we would all sprechen Deutsch… “Here’s to losers, they’re true blue…”
Finally MW called in all the Hash
ladies (There are no ladies on the Hash…sorry, forgot)
women and wondered how many LCHHH girls were unhappy with their labia. According to a UK report, hundreds of young women are taking
to plastic surgery to make their little flowers prettier. However no complaints were voiced among the Hash women so “Here’s to labia,
they’re true blue…”
No M2 Whip so straight into…
AOB and first in was Sperm off Ice calling in Puck Smuggler and Bagless. He produced a sharp looking pair of pruning shears, which had been found on the run, and asked if those charged were planning to use the shears to mutilate the POTW? “They ought to be publically…”
Saliva came in at this point with some topical statistics, apparently some 85% of American men are circumcised, whereas only 10% of British men are so modified. However she didn’t offer to use them onCoo Chi Coo who wanted to charge the GM. “Only an American hare could eff up so completely as to have 100% of the pack lost after only 100m from the start…”He ought to be publically…”
Pokai, fresh from an Interhash Quad Run meeting, announced the date had been fixed for September 23rd. Put that in your diary, we’ve promised 20 runners. Also announced, the
Sunday Hash plans an super run this weekend, with 2 drink stops…
All Done, we headed On On On. Goodnight, Ladies (oops sorry Women)
Reminder to save the date: LCHHH 35th Anniversary Run will be on 25th November 2017
Circle Report- Run 1841
American Independence Day Run
Date: Friday 7th July 2017
Run Site: Bulim Street
Hares: Puck Smuggler + GF & Stash + Wife
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 37, of which 26 Members ( 11 F, 15 M)
Virgins: 2 – one Female, one Male
Visitors & Returnees: 9 (5 F, 4 M)
New Member: POTW
Milestones 241 years since liberation from GB
Next Week’s Hares: Goody Bag and 8.24
Run Site: Bukit Gombak Stadium Car Park
On-On: Meng Kee Seafood, Block 369 Bukit Batok W Ave 5
Circle Scribe: Airborne
GM was nowhere to be seen at 8.00 but appeared after fill-in GMs PoKai called “Circle in 5 minutes…” twice, so at 8.10 along came Puck Smuggler complete with his hockey stick. Of co-hare Stash there was nothing to be seen, turns out that he did his work the previous day. So it was PoKai complete with high-heeled eff-me shoes (any higher and she’d need oxygen) who called for the Circle’s opinion of the run. Amongst the usual “Too much…Too many …” should have been “Virgin abuse…” since the Hare had conscripted his GF to help on the trail… (probably explains why so many twists, turns & loop-backs in the trail…Scribe).
Anyway, in deference to the occasion and to it being Puck Smuggler’s first for LCHHH, it was auspiciously decided to be a GOOD RUN. To celebrate, the 7 Americans joined together in the US National Anthem, more or less tunefully. PoKai”s comment: will you please tell POTUS it’s a good idea not to pee in the lake.
“Where’s your on-on? AtFarmart with 8 courses pre-negotiated cleverly by Wonton at only S$12.
Hare whip Puck Smuggler, called in his co-hareStash who along with several other LCHHH notables had a dinner invitation somewhere that couldn’t be refused. Was LCHHH Trumped? Look-alikeButt Wiper took the D-D on Stash’s behalf. Next in was Hare helper Simin whose timekeeping was a bit adrift, it seems, she arrived 10 minutes after the run started. Not only her timekeeping, but only a few minutes into the run, the sole fell off her shoe. What else to charge but “B-I-M-B-O…”, of course. Down down for her.
Next week’s hares were represented by an exotically dressedGoody Bag as 8.24 was OOS on some errant of his own. Run Site & On-on as above, excellent choice of location … but don’t forget, no flour in the MRT Station ??.
Virgins, Guests and Returnees: Not one but two virgins this week had been de-flowered by the wet and muddy run. Simin had been made to come by the GM himself, “It was against my will”, she said. Also in for his first run wasChris, we hope you both will come again…”They’re all right, they’re all right…” Seven guests and two returnees kindly magnified the pack total. Visiting ladies: Madeline, Rita, Suction Cup and Tight Lips, Men: Butt Wiper, Samson LeToi, Sperm-off-Ice andTelecum.
Returnees Tight Grip and Topless were also welcomed with a D-D, but someone was a bit out of practice with their beer swilling and attracted a “Why are we waiting…”