And now for a Public Service Announcement. Eskimo explains how our 1938 founding father – A.S. Gispert, took a bullet for the hash 76 years ago. So get out your candles and beers for a memorial service, 3:30am Sunday (yes that’s Sunday, not Monday morn), Dairy Farm Road, MOE entrance. And not escaping, they shy retiring type is declared, B.I.M.B.O.......
In all the excitement, Ayam Zinkinggets ahead of himself, and thinks its AOB? Hold that charge! TOTW? On in 8:24. Seems the Trump T is so popular, we need a competition to determine the winner. First it’s the Hares - Suzee Wong used to be part of the NZ rugby team, but couldn’t tell left from right. So then 8:24 proceeds to explain a little left hand, right hand manoeuvre - he’s got that well-rehearsed. Next it’s the Americans - Tight Lips and Voting B#tch (who subsequently takes offence at being called a Trump Lover). Now TL demonstrates a hilarious Trump combover. And next we need a Korean – who else but Cherry Picker! And as Kim Jong Un likes the clap (?!), 8:24 leads the circle in a round of applause for our new leader. At this point, VB reminds 8:24 this charge is now longer than the State of the Union address. But pressing on, and in preparation for the military parades, TL and CP have to do three goose steps to draw the biggest nuclear button they can. And the winner by decibels, is Tight Lips. Off, off, off, and she obliges and dons the Don’s T to the applause of the circle.
PoTW?Coo Chi Coo comes in swinging the member, exclaiming he could have charged all of us, as the pack f’d off 2 minutes early. But it’s the stand in GM - Cherry Picker that gets the gong - here’s to the PoTW, he’s true blue....
And now it’s definitely time for the Mystery, Mystery Whip? On in In n Out, seeking multiple candidates. Someone of Germanic persuasion for talking too much – Ayam Zinking. 3 delightful ladies overheard talking suggestively - Smell Me, Chicken Sh#t and Awesome4some. And a hasher heard saying - “If you had chicken rice every night, wouldn’t you want to try something else?” - on in Strapless. And let’s give all the transgressors a note “Why were they born...”
In n Out then asks hashers what happened 100 years ago in England? (really?, most hashers can’t remember what happened last night!). Amazingly, someone calls out – that’s when women almost got the vote - Correct! Despite having to be 31 years of age, women got the vote after one suffragette threw herself under the King’s horse. But In n Out was chuffed to see that good old British Rail hadn’t lost their sense of humour. To commemorate the occasion, one station master wrote on his low-tech chalk board – “History doesn’t forget, but the suffragette’s husband didn’t get his tea that night?”
Then it’s on in Coo Chi Coo, Totally Unacceptable and Butt Wiper. In n Out delves into his handbag and pulls out three rather generously sized bras. Being somewhat of an expert at getting them off, he needs instruction on how to fit a bra. So the blokes get themselves in a tangle, especiallyTotally Unacceptable with his shoulder in a sling. Meanwhile, CCC sneaks off and stuffs in cups to get the fullsome look. Gentlemen, they’re all right, they’re all right, they’re a little......
Voting B#tch takes control, and calls back In n Out. Don’t you know how much good bras cost? And you let these hashers bend Suzee Wong’s wardrobe out of shape? He’s the meanest, he.......
AOB?Ayam Zinking has been busting at the bit for about 20mins now - he’s got a good one. On in Matthew and Puck Me Lately. It transpires at one particularly difficult circle check, PML got frustrated with the guest, who was a bit lame on doing his checking out duties. Stamping her feet, PML succeeds in getting the guest into gear. On enquiring about the guest, Ayam Zinking learns, that PML paid his guest fees - “if I pay, he comes”. “He ought to be publically...”
Seizing the moment, VB raises the prospect of a naming? And it took about a nano-second for the pack to settle on “If I pay he comes”. But in true Singaporean style, it is immediately shortened to Pays To Come (PTC). By the powers infested in me, you will for now and for here-in-ever-after be known as: Pays to Come...
Now it’s the slightly indignant Spreads Widely, who chastises Cherry Picker, for bringing her in as a guest, while she signed up as a member last November. Our stand in GM is universally declared B.I.M.B.O.......
Stepping up is the blonde German gal - Easily Satisfied. The hariette was recently on an Asian hash, and so is familiar with Asian sized T shirts. But she was surprised by the Asian sized hats she received in her goodie bag, and she modelled the leprechaun style hats for the circle. On in the not-so-big-headed gals - Smell Me, Sweet Thighs and Awesome4some.
Finally, it’s Shaggy from the back blocks, calling in our stand in GM Cherry Picker. Seems CP has done things on the hash that no other hasher has, including a banana down, down. And as a completely inappropriate German song rings out, CP is sportingly stuffing banana down his throat.
And as Mr. Hoe rolls out the pies and pav, that’s gotta be on on on at 8:51pm. Well done GM’s and hares!
Circle Report – Run 1872
Waitangi Day Run
Date: Friday 9th February 2018
Run Site: Margaret Drive
On-on: On Site – Mr Hoe’s Meat Pies & Pavlova
Hares: Prick Me & Suzy Wong
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 60 of which 48 Members (24 F & 24 M )
Virgins: None this week
Visitors & Returnees: 12 (4 F, 8 M)
New Member: none tonight
Naming: Pays to Come
Next Week’s Hares: Cherry Picker & Roo Rooter
Run Site: Tradehub 21 – Boon Lay Way
On-On: On Site Special
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
The GMs try in vain to call the big circle together right on 8pm. Stand in GM Cherry Pickerproclaims in his most authoritative way - so it’s run number 1,872, and you still don’t know how to form a circle? Welcome to theWaitangi Day run. And what is Waitangi Day? According to Prick Me, it was when the Maoris signed a treaty with the British back in 1840, and got taken to the cleaners.
Cherry Picker solicits feedback on the run. Too much of everything, including a drinks stop, meat pies and pav – it’s a fantastic run. Here’s to the hares they’re true blue.....
And with the Kiwi flag flying from the beer truck,Cherry Picker brings in Tight Lips to remind us of the laws in Singapore. TL was almost arrested for flying the stars and stripes last year, but I think we’re safe with this flag.
Next week’s hares? Its the CNY kick off run, and the very Chinese hares - Roo Rooter and Cherry Picker - Trade Hub 21, lots of virgin territory and shiggy? On-on on site – stand by to be surprised!
Voting B#tch calls for the Guests, Returnees .. and Maoris? Girls: , After Hours, City Girl, Easily Satisfied, Matahari. Men: Butt Wiper, Cereal Killer, Cunni Lick Her, Impostor, Malfunktion, Matthew, Shaggy & Windy Bar. Welcome, down down, and come again, and since no one is listening, sing yourselves a little song: “We are b*stds through and through...”
The ever-observant Rooning Sh#t, acting as a whistle blower, spots Totally Unacceptable, resting his shoulder … by sitting on his ass? And the Norwegian has to use his good arm to drink it down, down, down, down
Voting B#tch calls in Stick Her Shock the blonde gal, for turning up this arvo at VB’s, with a bottle of dessert wine, which they subsequently knocked off - Gentlemen, “They’re all right, they’re all right, they’re a little...”
And now for the Hare Whip. On in Prick Me. Last week 10 people were arrested in Siem Reap for pornographic offences. So on in Puul Toyto represent the American, Eskimo the Canadian, Count Dracula the Dutchman, Suzee Wong the Kiwi, Totally Unacceptable the Norwegian and 5 Brits. But as there was no pornographic evidence, the “Let’s get wet” group were charged for not shutting down the party! “They’re all right, they’re all right, they’ve got...”
Now it’s time for the Mystery Whip? After several false starts, it’s Wankie Pooexplaining about inside leg measurements. How long is it? On in Coo Chi Coo and Hand Bag. And seeking a measuring volunteer, it’sFawlty Bush leaping in to the fray. Apparently Hand Bag had been heard on the run - “that’s a bit tight”. And after some three way comparisons and measuring, it was the unprintable 4skin song and down, down, down for all.
Next in is Airborne, who religiously followed trail, up the new flyover, whilst everyone else just ran across the road and left him in their wake. So on in the leading short cutters - Chicken Sh#t, with Eskimo They’re dumb, they’re dumb, they’re really...”