And now the middle aged hasher lady confiding to her doctor. “My husband seems to have lost interest in sex? Its ok says the doc, we have this new wonder drug – viagra. Just grind some up and pour it in his morning coffee. 2 weeks later, the hasher lady reports back to the doctor for a repeat prescription. “So how did it go?” anxiously asks the doc. “Well, there’s good news and bad news,” says the harriet. “After he drank the coffee, he rips my clothes off, puts me on the table and we have the most mind blowing sex!” “Fantastic!” says the doc, “and what’s the bad news?” “I can never show my face in that McDonalds again!”
And trying to now sound very Presidential, 8:24 reminds us to sign up for the LCH3 DnD at the RSYC, 10th Nov. If the skits are all like that, it should be an uproarious night. So see Stick Her Shock for your tickets, and “Drink it down, down, down, down…”
And now, its time, for, the Mystery, Mystery, Whip – Did Puck Smuggler do his job asks Stash as no one owns up, but eventually it’s Ditch stepping in. “When I arrived tonight, I asked the hare – do I need a torch to go under the AYE?” “No lah”. That lying SoB. We all got lost at the first check, trying to find trail in the tunnel, but at least he screwed up the FRB’s! Here’s to Durian Dog, he’s true blue…. And to all those who short cutted and climbed down the hijacked ladder into the drain – but we don’t have enough beer for all of those, so let’s bring in the instigator – Airborne, who found the ladder in the long grass – “He ought to be publically …” As the hashers came back in, we were somewhat strung out. Some came back in over two hours, and some in a taxi: Handbag and Wide Spread !! Alamak –– what a disgrace – but “They’re all right, they’re all right…”
And with the job almost done, stand-in Pr#ck Me thanks fellow stand-inStash. And is there Any Other Business? Yes of course. On in Coo Chi Coo. “As we were running through the drain, hashers were calling out, heads down, duck, duck, duck. But hang on, I realised I could stand up!” B/s, b/s….. And CCC has an announcement for all the gals – No Good is out of town…!!
In n Out was listening to The World Service, and shared the technology break through of the self lubricating condom. Apparently the lube is good for the first 1,000 thrusts, or about 16 mins. But according to In n Out, the average hasher only lasts about 500… “He ought to be publically…”
Pr#ck Me calls in all the Canadians. Seems they have passed legislation legalising marihuana, so now they can hash and smoke hash – “They’re all right…”
Handbag steps in – “Speak English! “I heard something I thought I’d never hear on the hash tonight, CCC saying, - there’s too much shiggy, it’s too rough in there, I’m looking for a short cut!- Next he’ll be giving up on sex on the hash? “He ought to be….”
Circle Jerk – “There were two hares tonight, but the big question, from those of us who did the full run – like myself – where were the advertised chicken sh#t pellets? And the flowers – where did you steal the 300 frangipani’s from? “They’re the meanest…” [Actually cempaka putih, they grow in graveyards… is DD into necrophilia?-Ed]
Stash brings in the virgins – for admiring the beautiful sunset whilst out on the trail. And gives them some advice - run the f hash and get back b4 dark. And trying to remember the LSD song, 8:24 seems to have done some permanent damage, and it’s down, down, down, down….
Do we have any more AoB? After Hours calls in all those wearing the Harriets 45th anniversary T shirt, and the little Pr#ck Me pins. Thank you for supporting the Harriets Breast Cancer cause – here’s to the charitable ones, they’re true blue….. And to Circle Jerk for doing the Harriets 23km long run – he’s dumb, he’s dumb…
And so at 8:53pm, after an excellent circle, it’s thanks to the stand-in GM’s and well done hares for a really good run. And great to see No Rection back tonight - we hope to see him back on trail soon, on, on, on…”
Lion City HHH : Run 1909 Circle Report
Friday 19th October 2018
Run Site: Queen’s Cresc HGV Car Park
Hares: Durian Dog, Pokai
On-on: Stirling Seafood
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 43 of which 35 Members (15 F, 20 M)
Virgins: Kong, Lucas & Morgan
Guests & Returnees: 5 (1F, 4 M)
Milestones: Prick Me: finally got to 50
New Members: Melissa, Sarah & Vish
Next Week’s Hares: Stash, Astronut, Strapless & Scorpios
Run Site & On-on: see Home page
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8:20pm and our GM stand ins – Pr#ck Me and Stash are keen to get going, and as Circle Jerk is refilling and chatting obliviously, its “stop jerking off and circle up”. Welcome to run #1909, and let’s get the hares (Ms Frangipani Pokai and Durian Dog) in for a public shooting. WDWTOTRun? Too long?, technical hash sh#t, down the drain run. Stash generously describes it as an ambitious trail, and despite the singing of “sh#tty trail…”, it looks like the hares have gotten off Scot free, and a good run is recorded (not bad considering the FRB’s came in just b4 7:30pm and the visitors around 8:10pm). Tell us about your onon? Supper will be at Stirling Seafood. Pokai has a brain fade on the block number, but assures us at $12 it will be cheap cheap, thank you much, much.
Virgins, do we have virgins??? Yes, yes, yes – 3 of them. Kwon from Canada, Lucas from Brazil and Australia?, and Morgan, another Aussie. “They’re all right, they’re all right, they’re……
Non members, guests and returnees? 8 in total including the virgins, and Buzz Lightyear as the sole returnee. Here’s to the guests, they’re true blue….
New members? Welcome Michelle, Sarah and Vish, they’re still all right…., and since two are from down under – “All Australians are born illegitimate…”
Next week’s run? Modest Strapless tells us to get ourselves to Jalan Lam Sam, bring a torch, pick up a free T and join the run of the year…
Pr#ck Me calls for the hare whip, and working her way through the crowd, excuse me, excuse me, it’s hash brew Pokai. Recognising it’s late and wanting to get to the on-on b4 they close, Pokai does a multi charge. 1) Calling out Pays 2 Come, Pokai asks, he’s tall, young, fit and good, right? But looks can be deceiving. Getting out of the taxi on arrival to the run, P2C asks Pokai, how long is the run? “About 7km” comes the reply (and the circle immediately sing b/s, b/s….). Let’s give it to the big woosie. 2) Eleven – when the f are you ever going to arrive on time? 3) Pr#ck Me, for explaining to the virgins – this is a Pokai run, you can do it with your eyes closed, it will be easy peezy. 4) Durian Dog – I love to set a run with DD – I never have to do a recce, just hold the toilet roll and the frangipani’s. “Here’s to the misfits, they’re true blue…”
“No PoTW?” says Stash – It’s with the TOTW, who in fact is the Pr#ck!!
Awards? – yes, we have a lady hasher who has racked up 50 runs. And it’s our stand-in GM – Pr#ck Me, and despite calls for off, off, off, our GM maintains decorum and dons her stylish new shirt…. Gentlemen, she’s all right, she’s all right…
We mightn’t have a Trump, but we do have an 8:24 – dressed up in a battery operated, fan blowing, inflatable man, Trump overalls. Believe me, it’s true! “I was down on Orchard Road, near the shawarma stand (Shiraz chimes in Stash – how did you know that?). I met a young lady, who asked for my phone number – sex, sex, sex, sex, for, free two, nie (6666 4329). Next it’s a story about a boy coming home from school. Mom – what happened at school today? I had sex with the teacher. Horrified, Mom sends him to his room to wait for punishment from his father. Dad comes home, and says, son, what happened. I had sex with my teacher says the boy. You’re a chip off the old block son – well done. You can go and ride your new bicycle now. No way dad, my butt still hurts!