Now it’s definitely time for the MMW? Saliva has the floor and tells us about one, indecisive hasher, arriving somewhat early, and confused by all the car parks on offer? Let’s try this one? Oh no, there’s a better one over there? How about that one closer to the beer van? Here’s to the tentative Singaporean parker – Rooning Sh#t, he’s true blue….. And next it’s a charge for those who think they own the entire car park. Some poor Singaporean was patiently waiting to pull out, whilst the oblivious Samson Letoi drinks and talks and drinks and….. D.D.D.D……. LCH3 are used to having older married couples on the hash. Yes dear, no dear. After 10 years, it’s usually one in front with the other one behind, never talking any more. But tonight we have newly weds. One was sitting, recovering after the run, whilst her new groom comes in, panting, accusing her of short cutting? “Why so angry?” enquires Arlene? “It’s just constructive feedback, darling,” responds Puck Smuggler. And as they line up for the down down, Arlene says: “and who’s the asshole now?” J D.D.D.D….
After 6 beers, Stash steps up and relieves Airborne of his birthday duties, and volunteers to be the emergency hare. He can recycle a Monday run, and we can all say our goodbyes to Tulip Gardens. Bring your budgie smugglers and hard hats. He’s alright, he’s alright….. And while I’m here – a little story? Tonight I was sweet talked on the run. A young lady offered to run atStash’s pace, only she took off and was gone like the wind. Finally catching up at a check 3km further on, Stash again loses contact with the young lady. And as he dragged himself in from the home trail, here she is all calm and recovered. You must have short cut you sweet talking thing? Here’s to the sweet talking, sweet tongue, sweet mouth Arlene, she’s true blue….
Chastity Belt calls in Pucks Me Lately for an indiscretion on the run. Jogging beside each other, making a good pace, PML says to CB – your running awesomely! You’re pretty fit, huh?... For your age! She’s dumb……
And with a minute to concoct something, let’s have a 4th crack at naming Sweet Arlene? Sweet F A? Sweet Tongue? Sweet Dreams? Sweet Lips? And it seems we have a consensus for Sweet Tongue. And by the powers infected in Pr#ck Me (being coached from the sidelines by In n Out), you will herein and for ever-after be known as Sweet Tongue, here’s to her, she’s true blue….
Next it’s In n Out asking what was 1939 famous for? No it wasn’t when Airborne lost his virginity! In fact it was the invasion of Liverpool – not by the Germans, but by the Irish. T’was the summer of ’39, the sky was full of lead, when Hitler headed for Poland, and Paddy for Holyhead…… He’s alright….
Puck Smuggler calls in the 3 blind mice FRB’s – Rooning Sh#t, Pucks Me Lately and Durian Dog. As PS bounded past the first T check, the 3 FRB’s turned right on trail into the shiggy, leaving the 4th blind mouse to eventually work it out for himself. Who’s the Pr#ck now? You’re the Pr#ck declares PML, and its D.D.D.D… for all
PS stays in. When you start hashing, it kind a gets into your brain. This morning I got a text from Sweet Tongue. Last night I couldn’t sleep, I was dreaming I was running on the hash, along a cliff edge, I got hooked on a fence, lost my top, and fell 100m onto the rocks below. And the pack ran past and all they cared about was that I didn’t have a hash top on? Here’s to the dreamer, she true blue, she’s a true hasher through and through
Fawlty wants to tell us about Australia. There’s an election tomorrow, but actually, nobody gives a rats about that. But yesterday, Australia’s most popular Prime Minister passed away. Now Bob Hawke was not only popular, but he was also a Rhodes scholar, and he transformed Australia’ economy and gave the battlers a fair go. But he had three critical character flaws (just like most hashers). Firstly, he was a hopeless alcoholic, who had to give up the grog to hold onto the Prime Ministership, and he also held the Guinness world record for sculling a yard arm at Oxford University (11 seconds). On in Rooning Sh#t. Next he was a completely addicted gambler, who went to the races whenever he could, and would bet on two flies walking up a wall. On inPokai. And finally, he was a hopeless philanderer, that liked to play the field and just couldn’t keep it in his pants – on in Circle Jerk. And despite all this, the Australian public loved him, and he was the most popular PM of all time. Here’s to Hawkie, he’s true blue….
Pucks Me Lately is an observant young thing. She has been watching Ayam Zinking, surprisingly not drinking tonight? Seems he’s on a self imposed diet – good for you she says. But how come I notice him going back and forth to the table, eating loads of cheese cake? Here’s to Ayam Cheesecake, he’s true blue…
Voting Bitch calls back Fawlty for a glaring omission. Hawkie was also famous for skulling a beer in the outer at the footy, cricket, races – wherever the young Aussies were knocking them back. And so let’s have a little boat race then shall we? And luckily FT manages to down his b4 VB (also a famous Aussie beer) and uphold Hawkie’s tradition. All Australian’s are born illegitimate……..
And we’d like to thank Voting Bitch for the cheesecake, and Sweet Tongue for the banana bread, and it’s all for Ayam Zinking’s diet J And well done Stash for stepping up as the emergency Chkn Dicken
And so at 8:35pm, it’s on on on to the Manky place, and don’t slip on your ass on the way
Well done GM’s, and great job Airborne on your 80th, here’s to many more
Run 1939 Circle Report
Hares: Airborne and Pr#ck Me
On-on: Meng Kee Seafood
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 33 of which 33 Members (19F, 14M)
Virgins: Not on your 80th
Guests & Returnees: Surprisingly - Zip
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Chastity Belt
It’s 7:50pm, and we have a very intimate circle tonight. Some are in the South of Spain enjoying the tapas, some are off to KL to break their balls, and some have just Vesak’d off. Pr#ck Me welcomes us to run #1939 – a very auspicious run number indeed – the year that Airborne came into being. Chastity Belt gets it going and invites the hares in – Airborne and Pr#ck Me. WDWTOTRun? Too flat, too slippy, not enough concrete, but CB declares that considering age and seniority, it was a bloody good run, so, here’s to the hares, they’re true blue….
Tell us about your on on? Airborne points us to the usual place – down the slope (where Voting Bitch once famously slipped on her ass in the mud) and across the road – Meng Kee (Manky?) Seafood. 8 courses for the very subsidised contribution of $10, plus beers on the tables – well done hares
Tonight we have no virgins, no guests, no returnees, no nothing? And perhaps no run next week? Circle Jerk encourages all to drink up and consider putting a hand up to be the emergency hare since Chicken Dicken has flown the coup to Aus. Airborne magnanimously says his real b’day is next week and he can back up again? Take a break and let some other whippersnapper have a crack!
Chastity Belt calls for the hare whip, so stay in Airborne. It seems our hares decided to set the run in reverse, and Pr#ck Me mostly managed to point the arrows in the right direction. But there were some communication issues out on the trail. It seems our audibly challenged hares, didn’t want to listen to each other, and so left their aids at home, resulting in sign language to get the job done. And so, here’s to the hares, they’re true blue…. Pr#ck Me calls back her co-hare. She has learnt tonight, that Airborne was not his original hash name. In fact it was Herr Von. And since it was a lost in translation by a somewhat inebriated scribe at the time, it’s on inFawlty Towers to take one for his profession – D.D.D.D…. And next it’s the New York cheesecake by Voting Bitch, and a hashy b’’day, f you to Airborne for his 80th. Pr#ck Me tells us that Airborne has never retired, but if he does, he could start a new career as a cat burglar? On the trail tonight, our handy man had a kit bag full of pliers, cutters, files, multi tools, secateurs, etc. AndChastity Belt asks if Airborne meant he was born on a plane? Were they even invented then? Perhaps it was a bi plan?
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip? No it’s not you Puck Smuggler. In fact it’s Herr Von Ayam Zinking. On arrival tonight, Ayam Zinking was peering into the setting sun, when someone approached from the West, and the blinded AZ asks – who are you? I’m God and you’re the MW. And so our GM gets a - why was he born so beautiful…. Next it’s the British (is there some kind of rivalry?) So the 6 Poms are marshalled into an outward facing circle, and asked to take one step forward for unity. And now you’r all closer to Brexit.
A Public Service announcement as the 8:05 departs for Marina Bay. We need a captain, skipper, driver, ringmaster or MC for the DnD. Almost all volunteers welcome, except Puck Smugglers offer to Trump it from the USA
PoTW? Finally Rooning Sh#t owns up to being the custodian. And he’s so upset to give it away, but decides to hand off so to speak, to our hares who set runs in God forsaken places. On in Airborne for Gombak Stadium, Comes Quietly (Look a Like Samon Letoi) for Lorong Sesuai, and Astronut for Jalan Lam Sam. We can’t possibly give it to an 80 year old? May be he needs it the most quips someone. So anyway let’s take a vote, and Astronut is the clear winner, and so the prick now has a big house and pool for some well earned RnR this week. Here’s to the Pr#ck, he’s true blue
Chastity Belt decides to tell us about Airborne’s younger days as a cadet in the airforce, and coming home explaining his first flight to his father. Well dad, we were up in the C130, I had my parachute strapped on, and as we approached the drop zone, this big, nasty sergeant major yelled, Airborne, you’r first out, and if you don’t f jump, I will jam this right up ya. And his father asks, so did you jump? Only a small jump at first!