Mystery Whip Stash, quick off the mark, has PML on a charge for unhashy garments in the circle, viz, a rainbow coloured T-shirt (cries of “off-off-off…”) added to which she has such difficulty getting to the run on time that she wants the time to be changed to 6.10pm… B-I-M-B-O.
Flagellation for Butt Wiper who’s so busy being an FRB he ran right past a check and then got lost. Houdini was Stash’s name for Strapless, who led a posse of short-cutters to escape from the forest, and got a D-D for his cunning.
“A nice trail,” said Stash, “a bit roady, not a lot of shiggy, not a lot of places to fall down, so how was it possible Puul Toy got in such a mess?” “Stick her Shock pushed me” was the predictable reply, following in Adam’s footsteps (“The woman tempted me and I did eat…”). Both got D-Ds for being control freaks “Here’s to obedience, it’s true blue…”
POTW time and there’s Running S#t with the proud priapus decently covered in its black bag, looking for a suitable custodian. “Posh Pussy, you were running on paper, but why the wrong way?” Next on the radar is Trolley Dolly and the Germans, sorry to hear about the football (World Cup 2018, for any non-cognoscenti, out of which Germany has been knocked) but never mind, at least they tend to lose gracefully…”Here’s to the nugatory losers, they’re true blue…” and for reasons not entirely clear to Scribe, it’s Trolley Dolly who finishes up with the POTW.
Mystery Mystery Whip leads on a porcine note – “Do we like piggy?” Tight Lips is summoned and it seems she has had a brush with a wobbore (that’s singlish for wild boar). “Here’s to Miss Piggy, she’s true blue…” Then once more the Germans … seems they’re getting a little over-exposed, and out comes the worn-out old cliche: “Germans have no sense of humour…” Now, one for the hares… “it would be rude not to invite them in” So, a question for Astronut & Comes Quietly… “How many drink stops did we have tonight? And answer came there none… Now, you folks drive Porsches and BMWs, right? So too tight for a drink stop? “They’re the meanest, they suck…”
Having done the Germans & the hares, M2W turns to Uncle Sam’s fair land, calling in the Americans, of whom there were rather a lot, too numerous to mention … Mr T has got into bed with N Korea, next week he’s off to Britain to warm up the special relationship with Mrs May, who’s next, Vladimir Putin? “They ought to be publically…”
We’re not done with the football theme and Mother Mary knows who Maskerbatorsupports, likewise Chicken S#t, their tems, it seems are still in the competition…”here’s to big guns, they’re true blue…”
And then Puck Smuggler has an announcement: “We have a changing of the guard…” Come in Maskerbator, who is off to seek pastures new… He’s been with us since 2015 and given us faithful service, we’re sad to see him go, but we’ve had to find a new mobile oasis, starting from next week. So the Circle gives full volume to the Hashy farewell, the tune being “Auld Lang Syne” but the words rather different…
After which it’s time for AOB and first up is Stick her Shock, who’s found some property, to whit, a
Mexican hat and a T-shirt. No surprises for the claimant of the hat, but the T-shirt? Strapless says to give it to the Virgin but winds up getting it himself.
Some sad AOB from Astronut who reports that founder member and great Hash supporter Allan Jones passed away last week, the circle giving the moment due reverence.
Ditch notes that our German guest Little Prick took a lot of care to avoid mud, so “He ought to be publically…”PS agreed and says he prefers Dutchmen, particularly ones who crash through the jungle like a bulldozer, making it easier for everyone else.
AOB from Ayam Zinking, fed up with Germans being picked on, calls in Posh Pussy for confusing him by speaking Korean. But the Circle decides “She’s all right…” and any more AOB is curtailed by hunger and the lure of the Red Lantern. So it’s thanks to the hares, the whips and all as the GM calls on-on-on at around 8.45pm.
Run 1893 Circle Report
29th June 2018 – Canada day run
Run Site: Jalan Lam Sam
On-on: Red Lantern
Hares: Astronut, Poser, Comes Quietly
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 45, of which 34 Members (15F, 19 M)
Virgins: Unbelievably 5,
Guests & Returnees: 6 (2 F, 4M)
Next Week’s Hares: Puck Smuggler, Stash, 8.24
Run Site: Springleaf Avenue Playground
On-On: 19 Sembawang Rd – Wong Chiew Eating House
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula
We got lucky with the weather, the downpours happened early so both hares & pack needed no rainwear and the trail markings were left undamaged. The trail started off jungly so we looked for lots of trips, plenty of shiggy and water hazards. What we found was a mixture of road runs interspersed with forays into the deliciously wet forest, but no climbs up muddy banks and no swimming.
GM Puck Smuggler and GM Puck Me Lately got a circle somewhat shambolically into order no later than 8.05 and straightaway called in the hares. Astronut led the way cloaked in the traditional Maple Leaf flag, followed by honorary Canadian, flagless Comes Quietly. Of Poser there was no sign, it’s rumoured she was keeping an eye on the catering over at the Red Lantern for the on-on.
What did we think of the run? Not enough shiggy, too much slippery road blah blah blah, butStick Her Shock was grateful they avoided hornets nests, so notwithstanding the shouts, PS made an executive decision and promoted it to GOOD RUN.
Next up: PML jumps the gun with Guests & Returnees and gets a swift D-D as “B-I-M-B-O…” first of all, what about the 5 Virgins? Virgins? So many – Ben, Charlotte, Eric, Lily, and Victoria – Into the circle for the traditional inquisition come the rest of the pure that are left after 2 ran away: “Who made you come?” “We did it by ourselves … with a little help from the Internet…” “Will you come again?” - Hopefully. “Here’s to virgins, they’re true blue…”
Follow that … Okay…now it’s time for…Guests: Do Her Now, Mother’s Tongue, Men: Matt, Miles, Little Prick, Ray, - “Why were they born so beautiful ....” Not only PML was suffering from premature ejaculation, 8.24 rushes in with a charge that’s found to be false so he gets a D-D accompanied by … “B-I-M-B-O…”
Next week’s Run: Stash gives directions to end of Springleaf Avenue and promises a run that will Make America Great Again, maybe T-shirts but doesn’t know where’s the on-on … He used to be indecisive, but now he’s not so sure… (but see latest news from Mrs Stash above – Scribe).
Astronut is Hare Whip and rather thirsty so awards himself a D-D for getting lost laying the trail. “He’s dumb, he’s really really dumb…” By custom & practice the next picked upon is co-hare Comes Quietly who’s congratulated on his retirement yesterday and also assigned B-I-M-B-O. Finally called in is Bagless, for keeping his GF secret, what has he been up to? “Why was he born so beautiful…”
“Tell us about your on-on…” says GM. What more is there to tell than the name?… Red Lantern, so well-known that its association with red lights is forgotten. Delegating the task to Poser had been done so thoroughly that Astronut doesn’t even know how much… B-I-M-B-O.
Enter a man who knows very well how much and also what time of year it is… Count Dracula with a reminder that subs for 3Q 2018 are due tomorrow.