Our GM’s have some year end milestones – on in Tight Lips for 50 runs, and to chants of off, off, off, she quickly swaps one shirt for another. And next is Wide Spread for her 50th, but she has forgotten her hash name. And finally, in Sweet Thighs, who quickly does the on over with her 400th run t-shirt. Gentlemen, they’re alright, they’re alright, they’re a little….
Chastity Belt calls in Blur Like Sotong. He is unfortunately leaving, but I’ve still got him down for next week’s Mystery Whip. And then comes the dreaded song – f off……..
MMW??? Cherry Picker – no, Corny Linquist – no, Astronut – no, but in fact it is the senior Linquist – Corny, who claims he is in the in-betweener phase, when he brings his daughter to the hash, who pleaded with him not to leave her behind on the run, but then buggers off ahead. And then there is Shipyard Flasher, who has been guilty of getting her leg over all day, and is too tired to come tonight. So let’s get a look alike in – Lapdog. And finally it’s Iron Crotch – who needed to be pushed up the slope, and then pulled down the other side, leaving Corny definitely stuck in the middle. Here’s to all them, they’re true blue……
Chastity Belt invites Corny Linquist and the Shipyard Flasher look alike – Lapdog, to stay in. Tonight b4 the run, SYF comes up to Chastity Belt and asks, is Corny Linquist here yet? CB – no, is it important? SYF – I really don’t know? Here’s to the blur love birds…..
PoTW? It’s Voting B#tch who’s been entrusted with the festive toy by Poser. And Cherry Picker immediately volunteers the guest – Whale’s Virgina, (but we might never see it again). Anyway, VB has two other candidates in mind – Croc O’Sh#t, for smoking a pipe and being most Santa like, and Roo Rooter, who has been on a tropical island in Indo, not performing his conjugal Santa duties. Anyway, Santa doesn’t have tatts, so it’s definitely going into Croc O’Sh#t’s sack. He ought to be publicly…..
Lolly, lolly as some surprised bikers ride through the circle. Which prompts Chastity Belt to call in Fake Virgin? but he’s already gone so now it’s time for….
AoB? Saliva has choped the first one – At the call for a show of hands for the on on, Cherry Picker immediately put up two hands – but what about the third family member? And Cherry Picker says he only pays for one b#tch. Who is in the dog house tonight? – he’s the meanest…..
Herr Linquist is in with a lost and found charge for the hares – are you missing anything? How about this ball I found on your trail? Here’s to the missing ball hare, he’s true blue……
In n Out is back in – (oh please not more corny cracker jokes) – thankfully no, but he calls back in the cracker trio – Airborne, Corny Linquist and 8:24. Now, let’s assume they are all dearly departed, and are standing at St. Peter’s gate, trying to get in. And St. Peter says – first you have to demonstrate some Christmas spirit and show that you’re ready to enter, so dive into Santa’s sack, and your present will determine your fate. SoAirborne dives in, and pulls out a big candle – the girls in heaven will like that, says Airborne. Corny Linquist dives in and pulls out Jingle Bells and bursts into song for the crowd behind the pearly gates. Finally, 8:24 dives in and pulls out a double wrapped package. After much effort to unwrap, he reveals a pair of silky knickers. What has that got to do with Christmas, says St. Peter? They’re Carols’, says 8:24. He ought to be publicly…..
And with that, it’s on on on to the red nosed lantern. Well done GM’s for a big and boisterous, Christmassy circle, and to the hares for a very good run and drinks stop (well at least I can verify the last part). See you all at Jalan Lam Sam for the 21st New Year’s recovery run, the first of the decade - for LCH3, (but second to Cherry Picker’s Harriet’s run on New Year’s day – Bukit Brown)
Hares: Butt Wiper and Tight Lips
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 52 of which 40 Members (18F, 22M)
Virgins: Not after Christmas
Guests & Returnees: Herr Linquist, Cunning Linquist, Whale’s Virgina, Shipyard Flasher, Lapdog, Peter, Cinderella, Spreads Easily, Windy Bar, After Hours, Isla and In n Out
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
Ho, ho ho, and welcome to the Christmas run. Chastity Belt and Voting B#tch invite the hares in. But it’s Singapore, and we have to get the food sorted first – hands up for the Red Lantern’s Chinese roast turkey and 2 free beers per hasher? Now, WDW(really)TOTRun ask the GM’s? Too short? No jungle? Not enough pink ribbon? But enough of that, Tight Lips suggests it was indeed a good run, and we all agree – HTTHares, they’re true blue…..
Next week’s hares? Astronut andPoser are in. It’s the 21st New Year’s recovery run. Get yourself to Jalan Lam Sam for the hangover run of the year, and a free t-shirt.
Virgins? Not after the Christmas parties.
Guests and Returnees: Herr Linquist, Cunning Linquist, Whale’s Virgina, Shipyard Flasher, Lapdog, Peter, Cinderella, Spreads Easily, Windy Bar, After Hours, Isla and In n Out – here’s to all of them, they’re true blue…..
Time for the Hare Whip – let’s pull up a chair as Butt Wiper calls in the Linquist family – Corny, Cunning, Herr and Isla. But the horny young one is not really part of the family – yet, so let’s give her a name. And Butt Wiper is reminded he might be the GM of Sunday but for LCH3 the naming powers are only vested in Voting B#tch! On your flip flops instructs VB, and as she sprinkles beer, and declares, you will and for herein ever-after be known as Horny Linquist. Welcome to the lost in translation family. Here’s to Horny Linquist, she’s true blue….. It wouldn’t be a LCH3 hash without a short cutting story right? So tonight, at the first bit of shiggy where we stopped then went left around the fence, one of us decided she could squeeze through, whilst all the other fat buggers had to run around. On in Puck Me Lately, who despite her boobs, almost managed to squeeze through the narrow gap, but she got stuck half way – apparently the left one was not as deflated as the right, but she somehow eventually managed to wriggle through. And then there is our favourite German – very experienced in the Turf Club shiggy area, and claiming he had helped someone find trail, but he was already lost. And when Butt Wiper returned an hour later to sweep, there was Cherry Picker still bimbo’ing around. And so, Puck Me Lately, what song should we sing him? B.I.M.B.O….. Tight Lips has a charge from the drinks stop. As she was setting up, the incredibly fast FRB Croc O’Shit, arrived – first one in for refreshments! This FRB (SCB) is alright, he’s alright, he’s got a…… And Butt Wiper also has another – who crossed 6th Avenue and did the long run? Ok, who crossed 6th Avenue, but turned around and didn’t complete the long run? On in Puck Me Lately (now fully deflated) and Rooning Sh#t, who has departed to avoid the embarrassment. So let’s get in a look alike – 8:24. Here’s to the lazy bstds, they’re true blue…..
Voting B#tch has a PSA, and she pretends to be serious (it’s a hash circle and there’s been lots of alcohol). 8:24 has stepped up to hare on the Jan 17th, but we still need a volunteer for the Jan 10th. Drink up, queue up, and sign up at the on on.
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery Whip? It’s Santa In n Out (we’re not sitting on his knee). You know those corny Christmas cracker jokes? Well In n Out has pages of them. On in Corny Linquist (all these jokes are his fault), Airborne (he’s the most like Santa) and 8:24 (he’s premature as usual). Some of the better ones:
· Why does Santa always score? He knows where all the naughty girls live!
· Why did Santa go from the North pole to the South pole? Coz he’s bi-polar!
And as Santa was climbing down the chimney, In n Out bursts into carol (song):
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos…
And it goes on:
What do Priest’s and Christmas trees have in common? Their balls are ornamental!
And finally, What do female reindeer do when their guys go shopping? Go into town for shopping and to blow some bucks! Here’s to Santa and his corny helpers, they’re true blue…..