Enough of the good news, Astronut has a charge for saboteurs on the hash – SYF for almost falling into a drain, and Cherry Pickerfor picking up the chopped up paper markings and attempting to eat them! They’re the meanest, they…..
And back to history, in the year 1065 – (Coo Chi Coo’s first run), Westminster Abbey was consecrated. And with Puul Toy’s fridge full of beers, we need it consecrated and then see if the LCH3 can guzzle their way through it. And to get us going, Ayam Zinking and Deep Thro’at are called in for a down down scull. 1, 2, 3, and its Deep Throat by half a pint or more. And still on history, Astronut reminds us the chastity belt first became widely used as a medical masturbation prevention device only in 1795, the same year Young St., in Toronto was commenced as the longest street in the world. But that was fake news, and the two longest talkers – PML and Wonton are dragged in – they’re all right, they’re all right……
Despite being away for two weeks, PML hasn’t forgotten the PoTW. And Wonton declares that she had saved the day as “Some idiot had given the Pr#ck to a virgin, so we were in danger of never seeing it again, but I got it back, and it’s in the car”. So whilst we are waiting, the GM’s move on with the MMW?
Coo Chi Coo rushes in, and immediately calls inSHS – I can pick up SHS he claims, and proceeds to lift and separate her biggest bits! Next it’s Ditch, who always takes his wife around the hash. “Man up and do what I do implores CCC”. Insure your wife and do your own thing! He’s all right, he’s all right…. “I was following Rum and Cock on the run tonight – did anyone else see what she was wearing?” Girls, buck up and get with the program! “And as I was following” (stalking says Rooning Sh#t) “Rum and Cock, she invited me to pass. But whilst my legs were able, my eyes wouldn’t let me pass.”
And back from the car park, Wonton seizes the moment – “He deserves the Pr#ck!” And it’s unanimously agreed. “He’s alright…” Stash tells us that as CCC’s eyes were fixed on Rum and Cock’s butt, he tripped on a rock and fell flat on his face – B.I.M.B.O…… Whilst CCC was handing the Pr#ck to No Good for her usual care-taking role, Cherry Picker has a follow on charge, noting how Rum and Cock would meticulously break up sticks to form arrows. CP to CCC on the run – “Why are you so slow?” “I need to find the stick arrows so I can find Rum and Cock!”
And back to the beginning of the run when PML introduced the virgin and asked us to take care of him? Meanwhile, all the girls were checking him out, while the guys were thinking – we don’t give a rats if he gets lost.
Stepping in with a Public Service Announcement – pay your bloody subs, Count Dracula is rewarded with – he’s the meanest…..
PML– “So it’s really difficult being a Singaporean nowadays. I finally know what Po Kai means, but it does sound very much like Pukiwhich means bankrupt pussy! Welcome to the Pussy Family…
And with the AoB floodgates now well and truly open, it’s the young Miss Glaser, calling in Daddy Stash and Mummy Wonton. The day b4, she was on a video call from London with Wonton, discussing Wonton’s hair dying for Christmas (oops, was that supposed to be a secret?). Anyway, the young ‘un asks Wonton, “Are we picking up Dad when his flight gets in after mine at 10pm?” “No, no, he gets in from Hanoi at 4pm, it’s on the calendar! So the genned-up Y one multi-tasks whilst on the video call, and messages Stash – No, no, it takes off at 6pm! Relaying this to Wonton, the reply comes back, no you’re both wrong. He’s on BA11. But British Airways don’t fly out of Hanoi! – B.I.M.B.O…
CCC is back in – he forgot one of his MMW charges! Alzheimers? Observing not just Rum and Cock, CCC had noticed the tape on Fawlty Bush’s knees. After the run, he asks FB, so hows the carpet burns? And FB replies – what? What are carpet burns? So on in Fawlty Towers for his lack of educating and a doubleFawlty down, down!
Voting Bitch has one – noting we have Rooning Sh#t’s daughter with us, is it time we expanded the Sh#t family? And after all the Sh#t variations, and revealing a bit too much ‘cheek’ on the run, it’s time for a Hash Naming, and the GMs duly awards the name decided – Here’s to Cheeky Sh#t… Not letting CCC off too lightly, VB explains how nearing the end of the run, whilst the rest of us saw Montreal Rd., and short cutted straight for it, CCC, for the first time in his life, kept on, following three teenage girls… until he saw their father!
And after a marathon circle, and with the puulled pork and beers beckoning, it was time for on, on, on at 8:53pm. Well done PML and Stash for an excellent circle, and thanks to SHS and Puul Toy for a great run and another fabulous on-on at 247 Montreal Road – we will miss it…and the Margaritas!
Run 1919 Circle Report
Friday 28th December 2018
Run Site: 247 Montreal Road
Hares: Stick Her Shock & Puul Toy
Assisted by: Wet Landing
On-on: On site
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50 of which 39 Members (20 F, 19 M)
Guests & Returnees: 11 (8F, 3M)
Next Week’s Hares: Astronut, Poser and Stash
Run Site: Jalan Lam Sam
On-On: Master Crab Seafood,
Sunshine Place, Choa Chu Kang Ave 3
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8:02pm, and we have our Grand Mattress back – Puck Me Lately, along with stand-inGM Stash. Minus the eff-me shoes, the diminutive one (not Stash), calls for a circle – welcome, welcome, oh, and STF Up. On in the hares Stick Her Shock and Puul Toy and the honorary Wet Landing. WDWTOTRun??? It’s unanimous – a GOOD RUN. Here’s to the virgin territory (and two drink stops), they’re true blue…
And tell us about your on on? It’s right here – Puul Toy’s puu-ulled pork, a fridge full of craft beer, and $10 in the big glass jar is all that’s required.
And our very eager GMs calls for the virgin – who is really a virgin??? Hi Mark – who made you come? Seems to have been a Sh#t family connection. And since Mark had a good time and might come back again, he’s all right, he’s all right, he’s got a teeny weenie…
Puck Me Lately has been away for two weeks and is struggling to get the running order right, despite lots of advice from Cherry Picker. But Durian Dog steps forward also offering advice about who is next, whilst K9 Poppy is plonked in the circle, Circle contributes some uncharitable comments about who really has the brains. But Stash saves the day with his cheat sheet and so it’s on in Guests and Returnees - Guests: Rum and Cock, Long Time Coming, Chicken Dicken, Trudy, Mark, Joelle, Cinderella and Returnees: Spreads Easily, Wet Landing, Tiger Lily and Shipyard Flasher. Here’s to the wannabee members, they’re true blue….
Following the script and realizing they had missed the Hare Whip, it’s on in Stick Her Shock, relaying her call to Shipyard Flasher for the recipe to a cake she had sampled at Callum’s Bday Party. Ring, ring, Ring, ring, hi, SYF, this is SHS, can I get that cake recipe? SYF – do you have a pen? SHS – Puul Toy, give me that effing pen quick. SYF – 220gm of flour, 220gm of sugar, 220gm of eggs, essence of lemon (don’t let PT drink it). And so SHS mixes the ingredients, and places on the table. F, F, F, get the cat off the table, and then into the oven (with the cake mix). Ring ring, Ring ring – SHS to SYF – it’s just not right, are you sure the recipe is correct? – equal amounts of flour and sugar? SYF then realizes there is a loss in translation between cups and grams – so how’s the cookie dough? SYF – hard as a bloody rock. I’ll try again. Ring ring, Ring ring – SYF to SHS– how did it turn out? SHS – I didn’t make it, we have upside down pineapple cake instead! Here’s to the BIMBO, she’s true blue….
Next it’s Wide Spread – come, come, come. SHS bends over to reveal a bruise on her very lower back. And on learning of this on the run, Spreads Wide offers to pick up SHS? No, no, no, I will squash you, B.I.M.B.O….. And finally it’s her co-hare – Puul Toy, who had taken his (golf) stick on the run and was whacking off thru the jungle, banging everything in sight. SHS – don’t upset the bees or the Mosque with all your banging. But then she worked it out, PT was scared of the snakes. Here’s to the charmer, he’s true blue…
And of course, after the Hare Whip, according to Stash, it’s… do we have a run next week? Astronut steps in with revealing information – New Year’s recovery run – Jalan Lam Sam – same as it’s been for about the last 20 yrs – bring a torch if you want to see the first of 2019…
Mystery Santas are still lurking amongst us – Stash: “Don’t you know Christmas is over?” But Airborneexplains that Christmas in fact lasts 12 days, and that in the civilized countries of N Europe, the Christmas tree stands until the 6th of January.
And with that mystery settled, PML declares – and now, it’s time… for… the, Mystery, Whip? Astronut admits to have volunteered himself on Wed for MW duties, but at the last minute, resorted to Wikipedia, as history often repeats itself (sure does on the hash). 4yrs ago, Air Asia crashed a plane into the Java Sea, and 4yrs b4 that there were horrors in Pakistan, and now we have another earthquake in Indonesia.