And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip??? Posh Pussy is back in. Actually, I’m not the one, but No Rection is sick (not of me). He got the flu 3 weeks ago whilst PP was in China on a business trip, and being the stoic Ang Mo hasher he is, refused to go to the doctor. But thankfully, he has PP to look after him when she returned. So on in all the other good wives with stubborn husbands –Wonton, No Good and Sooch. But the real charge is for their men – CCC for claiming after 20yrs he can finally see the good in No Good, but it’s because he’s going blind! And then Rooning Sh#t – how lucky you are anyone would have you. And then Stash for complainingWonton spends all his money. PP – all you males need a good wife. (Whilst someone suggests No Rection had found a new wife at the 4 floors?). Why were they born so beautiful, why were they born at all….. And Juicy Pussy asks - is this what a marriage counselling session sounds like?
PoTW? CCC is delving into a bulging bag – I think it’s in here? And he has two candidates – Voting B#tch for omitting to mention to wear red to the hash bash (and CCC subsequently wore purple?), and the circle say keep the Pr#ck. And then there is Corny Linquist, for setting a very bad example, by running after Shipyard Flasher and holding her hand on the hash. And that’s enough for the hash haggish to be passed to the Corny one. Here’s to bad example, he’s true blue….
Chastity Belt calls in Circle Jerk. Whilst he was stuck in the mud, he heard an “on call”, coming from the direction of the dog (Cherry Picker – who the f is the dog – his hash name is Tuff Nuts!). But it seems the FRB – Sperm On Ice had bolted by the time CB extricated himself from the mud, and the sweeping CJ and Tuff Nuts were also nowhere to be seen. And then CB stumbled across Cunni (try Corny) Linquist, who led him the wrong way. So give the sweeper and his best friend a night in the kennel (was that 11 cheering?).
Mystery, Mystery, Whip??? It’s our GM – Voting B#tch, who tells us our committee have been hard at work, (b/s, b/s…) organising the Hash Bash, but especially the Monday night recces with Chastity Belt trying to find a venue. And it seems that CB was moaning into his pint that he was also finding it hard to get whips, and so took advantage of VB in a semi drunken state and anointed her at Harry’s. And then today, on the committee chat group, VB asks, has anyone not been to Harry’s, and all confirm they have. But at 4:30pm, the messages start flying from Bibrator – is there a place to change, can I take a shower? Well, yes, if you kneel down beside the toilet and use the short hose (not Roo Rooters). And then she asks if there is a/c? B.I.M.B.O…. And then it’s on in Circle Jerk to face the music. Some of us run, and some walk. VB leads the walkers team, and, duly following the hares instructions, stays behind at the start, to await directions. And then CJ f’s off up the hill, after a bolting Tuff Nuts, and the walkers are waiting, and waiting, but he doesn’t return. Ooppps say’s CJ, as he claims it was all the dogs fault. He’s dumb, he’s dumb…..
AoB? Circle Jerk stays in and calls in Corny Linquist and Shipyard Flasher. It seems that CJ and Corny Linquist were overcome when, SF had a Bo Derrick – 10 moment, and flashed herself in slow mo. She’s alright, she alright….
Next it’s Corny Linquist in. Yes I was in the jungle – thinking, doesn’t it smell nice – almost odorific? And it seems CL got a bit distracted and a bit detached, until he was rescued by Chastity Belt, who was suggesting home was just 200M back - that way. And so CL deliberated as it was now getting dark – back as suggested by CB, or follow his odorific instincts and on on? And on on the happy couple went, completing another ľ of the run, and becoming the real sweepers of the night. Here’s to us……
Voting B#tch to Sperm On Ice (the Sunday man). Is there a run this Sunday? Oh yes, it’s the Itchy Bum, Numb Cock run, Mandai Track 16
Dirty Groper asks, is he Sperm On Ice or Puff Daddy? Seems the haze had finally cleared across Singapore, until after the run and SoI decides to light up in the circle – he’s the meanest…..
And as the feet and other bits start pointing towards the Red Lantern, Voting B#tch asks for a ride, coz Roo Rooter is not here! And so it’s on on on at 8:25pm. Thanks to our GM’s and well done Circle Jerk for a proper shiggy run.
Hares: Circle Jerk, Eleven and Tuff Nuts
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 35 of which 28 Members (13F, 15M)
Virgins: Not in the cemetery
Guests & Returnees: Dirty Groper, Imposter, Sperm On Ice, Cereal Killer, Chong, Glonnie, Shipyard Flasher
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
Welcome to run #1964, as our GM’s Chastity Belt and Voting B#tch get all three of our hares in – Circle Jerk, Eleven and the four legged Tuff Nuts. Chastity Belt leads us off, having come back off trail from the wrong direction about 20mins later than the rest of us – where was the paper? Circle Jerk claimed the ghosts had picked it up? So, WDW(Really)TOTRun? Excellent, too short, what did Eleven really do?, too many graves, but lots of good shiggy, and excellent sweeping the second time round by CJ and his best friend, so it’s definitely a Good Run – here’s to the hares, they’re true blue….
It’s left to the fairer sex to tell us about the on on, but as most hashers were already on they’re 3rd++ beer, the chatter level was up, so Eleven declares, STFUp. Red Lantern – it might be Chinese, 8 courses, free beers and all for the hash special rate of 12 dollar only.
Next week’s run? Time to air your privates at the St. Andrew’s day run. You can swing your haggish at Blackmore Drive, and follow a sparsely laid trail by Corny Linquist, Bagless and all the Scots. On on will be at the Red Lantern for the St. Andrew’s Day Chinese feast. It could be a T-shirt run, but you’d better bring one just in case.
Guests and Returnees? We have Glonnie from the Philippines (where’s your g/f says CCC), Chong (and Chastity Belt gets a B.I.M.B.O. for not recognising the regulars), Sperm On Ice, Dirty Groper, Imposter, Cereal Killer and Shipyard Flasher. Here’s to our guests, they’re true blue…..
Hare Whip? Tuff Nuts is straight in, closely followed by his guest hare – Circle Jerk, who promptly asks – are you ecologically friendly? It seems CJ was contemplating how to set an ecologically good run and not upset the ghosts, so he decided to follow the example set by Cherry Picker recently, and so whilst on the couch at home, asked Eleven to order some saw dust. So the excited Eleven (what else can you use sawdust for?) was straight on to Baidu, but something must have been lost in translation, as CJ ended up with Hickory bbq wood chips (that’s a bit scratchy). Here’s to the barbie queen Eleven, she’s true blue…… Next it’s a bravery charge for our fearless GM – CB, who led a bunch of grey nomads back from a T check early in the run, only to arrive at a three way option. Confused, our GM asks the hare for directions, who points to Tuff Nuts for the lead, but he is covered in mud in the creek. Seems our GM was not so fearless after all. And then there was Posh Pussy, coming down the slope to a circle check, taking her sweet time, and watching which direction CJ’s feet were pointing for the on on clue. But it seems CJ’s real pointer was indicating another way, and so Posh Pussy now knows which pointer to follow. Here’s to the easily misled, she’s true blue….
Our GM’s have some PSA’s – early bird pricing is still on for the Hash Bash, come and get your fill, (and we certainly did – what a cracking night it was at Harry’s). And we need a ho ho ho hare for the 20th of Dec, otherwise VB will start annoying Cherry Picker (pls do it anyway). But since it happens to be her b’day, Posh Pussy immediately volunteers – and then calls for support hares. Here’s to the pussy run….