Pr#ck Me has a special award, so it’s on in Mother Mary and Dirty Hacker, for 1100 and 100 runs respectively (seems there’s been a typo on Dirty Hacker’s shirt). That’s a life time of hashing – well done to the long termer’s. And amidst cries of off, off, off and on, on, on – why were they born so….. And not forgetting our favourite Sh#t fam member – Chicken Sh#t, with a mere 800 runs in 17yrs. And as Chastity Belt draws a connection to Bob Dillon, “How many roads must a man travel down, b4 it’s D.D.D.D….”
Staying inChicken Sh#t, and back in Airborne for their real birthday song – hashy b’day f you….
And now? It’s MMW time (or refill time) as Corny Linquist takes the stage (the scribe takes no responsibility for any lost in translation from this point on). Tonight, it’s all about tales of expectation on the hash? A little girl – Awesome 4some, turned up tonight, expecting, wishing for something long and hard? (Stash must be a mind reader?). But apparently, AS4S had agreed to do a marathon with Tiger Lily – on in look a like – Sweet Thighs, but AS4S was half an hour early, and took off anyway. And despite their best efforts, Tiger and Mr. McGlue couldn’t catch the expectant one, so here’s to her, she’s true blue…. Next is the hasher who went to Shanghai, but couldn’t find any girly bars?Coo Chi Coo also missed out on his expectations. And then, on the way here tonight in a taxi, fearing being put in the stocks, Corny Linquist goes on line via his mobile banking app, and pays his bloody subs, in the expectation of a free beer mug. And Astronut disappoints our MMW with more missed expectations. Here’s to the short changed, they’re true blue….
PoTW? Astronut returns with a very suspicious outline in a cold storage bag. Could it be the long and hard expectant AS4S? Or could it be Airborne, for being warned not to go into the drain and going anyway. Or should it be Samson Letoi (He must be French?) for shouting the loudest last week for Astronut to get the venerable member? And the circle agrees, so put that in your twat – he’s the meanest, he….. (and Suction Cup sweeps in and claims the member for safe keeping)
AoB? Bangcock is up, and calls in the hares. Last Sunday’s colour coded crayon run had similar Fawlty traits to tonight? Blue chalk on blue markings, yellow on yellow, and the senior hashers were all confused between the chalk and the paint of matching colours? On in Coo Chi Coo to accompany Stash – they’re dumb, they’re…..
Puck Smuggler asks Stash to stay in, and like In n Out, was also listening on the radio to the BBA? He’s American – B.I.M.B.O….. Continuing the story – as I was driving my step daughter to school, listening to the BBC, there was a story about American politics – tariffs and impeachments, and how Trump wasn’t happy with Nancy Pelosi. And it seems we have a parallel on the hash, with a local Trump – Strapless, coming in after the run, saying to the hare – you know nothing (he’s just back from Barcelona!). We ran all that way, just to see the dinosaurs? And the moral of PS’s charge – appreciate your hares, as Strapless defends himself and then it’s D.D.D.D…..
Next up is Voting B#tch, with a serious fake news charge, levelled at the Fawlty one (what else could she expect?). Last week, VB had offered to make Airborne any cake he liked. And so Airborne requested a cheese cake, but not the heavy, New York type, but the light and fluffy German style. SoVB duly went to Cherry Picker’s recommended German shop, and got all the ingredients, and baked a fabulous cake for Airborne. But it got reported by the Fawlty one in the newsletter as a New York style cheesecake. And so Cherry Picker confronted VB – why didn’t you make the German style cheesecake – I did!, no you didn’t, it said it was New York cheesecake in the newsletter! Ahh, the power of the written word J He’s the meanest……..
Having reminded the hashers of food, it was past time to head off to the Red Lantern at 8:36pm. Good job GM’s, and well done our emergency hares – Stash and Wonton, and farewell to Tulip Garden
Hares: Wonton and Stash
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 51 of which 49 Members (25F, 24M)
Virgins: Not in the Tulip Garden
Guests & Returnees: Sperm off Ice and Mr. McGlue
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Tonight we were set off by the real hare (Wonton), whilst the co-hare (Stash), having started at 1pm, still wasn’t back. It’s either a bloody long run or Stash is enjoying Wala Wala? And so, at 8:05pm, as many were still showering after a very long run, it’s on in the co-hare for his punishment. WDWTOTRun asks our GM’s? Too short, more concrete, more jungle, not enough dinosaurs? Chastity Belt says it was 10.6km, but others had clocked up to 11 and 12km. But still the FRB’s were back in 1hr, 14mins, and so the emergency co-hare is safe. Here’s to Stash, he’s true blue…..
Tell us about your on on enquires Pr#ck Me? The real hare – Wonton, explains - it’s the usual fine fare at Red Lantern - $12, plus cold beers
Chastity Belt calls for visitors/returnees/virgins? But tonight it’s just Sperm off Ice and Mr. McGlue (the 1hr 14min men). Join up so you can be publicly ……..
Hare Whip? Stash is in. Is he trying to make a point about who is the real hare? Asking Wonton where did the run go? But she’s been paying attention – down to Sixth Ave, past Jurassic Park, and back to Wala Wala. Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue….
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip? The usual pretenders saunter through for top ups, as In n Out gets his stuff together. Arriving late as per usual, he missed the run, and sat in the car, listening to the BBC for inspiration! And he’d like to share a story about an Australian Women’s Institution (actually mate, it’s called the County Women’s Association). Anyway, these farmer’s wives meet once a month out in the sticks, and bake scones, darn sock, drink beer, and go home and have sex. They’re actually a pretty conservative bunch, who it turns out, have taken offence at a company called Wicked Campers, who print all sorts of offensive slogans and graffiti on camper vans that are hired out to British tourists – Like - how do you like sex and pizza? Or don’t you like pizza? (And other unprintable’s). So on in Voting B#tch (for having a little bit of Aussie in her) and Coo Chi Coo, for being a dirty old man and writing all the lines – they ought to be publicly….
And next on the BBC – Singaporean mothers, and how they take such good care of their boys, and make them so obedient. In n Out recalls the pic of the young SG boy, going off to National Service, with a huge back pack full of gear, which his mother made the maid carry! Anyway, the story was actually about Bonabo Monkeys, who like Singaporean mums, take exceptional care of their sons, and then take them out to check out and vet prospective mates. But In n Out thinks it should be the fathers duty to check out their son’s prospective mates, and so it’s on in the Bonabo monkey pair – Stash and CCC – Here’s to the Bonabos, they’re true blue. And with In n Out’s flash light going into permanent flashing mode, he gives up on the third charge and exits trying to control his flashing