Before letting CP out of the circle, Voting B wants to register disappointment. The trail not only took us past CP’s residence, but had us fooling about a long time in the gardens nearby while a hilltop circle check was broken. So why no drink stop?? “He’s the meanest…”
As usual Mystery Whip was some time coming out into the open and we wondered if MIA Puck Smuggler had finally effed up. After an unintelligible gobble from Corny Linguist, it’s Stash, and his first victim is Strapless, who’s got his name on more T-shirts than most hashers, but can’t find one tonight. Keen to avoid a swim he short-cutted over the Pandan bridge but came out on the wrong side, so adding 2km to the run and needing to get a taxi back. Tiger Lily complained the run was too tough which was a bit rich coming from a Triathlon competitor. Trolley Dolly was another short cutter needing taxi therapy…They ought to be publically…” Next one for Ditch usually a good boy scout, sussing out the trail, couldn’t find the way out of a TCheck …cos he was standing on the chalk arrow…”B-I-M-B-O…” Then Puck Me Lately, with all that jungle and water, couldn’t find a suitable comfort stop, also B-I-M-B-O. Roo Rooter takes another caning for being unable to wait for the on-on and gobbling a Deliveroo McBurger. “Who eat all the pies…?”
Finally, in this bumper bundle of charges was Ayam Zinking, who has a fiancee about whom he’s keeping quiet. So quiet, that the HDB called him to confirm when he’s getting married. He doesn’t want to lose his place in the HDB queue so he’s brought forward the date. Now, says Stash, usually people rush to get married cos there’s a bun in the oven. However, AZ is an engineer…enough said? “Here’s to HDB lovers, they’re true blue…”
Then it was time for Mystery2 Whip in the person of Shipyard Flasher who was keen to clear Trolley Dolly’s name as a backsliding taxi-rider. Seems TD not only called up the taxi in the wilds of darkest Toh Tuck but also paid the bill for everyone, so …: He’s all right, he’s all right..”
M2W then called in 8.24 for gymnastics on the Hash…seems that he was helping SYF over a rather high railing, but CL suspected 8.24 was grabbing a groping opportunity, so pushed him away. Thus SYF was left to climb on her own…”He’s the meanest…”
Next SYF called in Eleven, to re-inact a bungled burglary in China. From CCTV coverage, it seems thief No.1 was to throw a brick at a shop window whilst No.2 waited to grab the spoils. It went wrong because the brick hit No.2 and knocked him out cold. The girls acted this out convincingly (see
TOTW brought back Tight Lips, last week’s recipient, who told us about the porn star the Donald paid to keep quiet. It’s not recorded how much Sperm Off Ice paid to keep it quiet that he finished behind the short runners – “He ought to be publically…”
AOB from Stash-recounting the story of the Chinese lady traveller who followed her luggage through the x-ray machine rather than lose sight of her valuables – who was the lucky lookalike? Eleven of course. “B-I-M-B-O…”
AOBfrom Trolley Dolly – Singapore locals are known for their secret societies, but now the idea seems to be spreading to the Hash. Come on in, Hooray – you called an exclusive dining club meeting of Voting B, Foetus, Roo Rooter and others whose names are protected, for which the password was ”free flow”. Here’s to free flow-ers, they’re true blue…”
TD was not finished yet…Quote of the week: “I opened the fridge on Friday and there was nothing in it – what to do? – CNY so no shops open – step in the ever-hungry Roo Rooter.“Here’s to fast foods… “
AOB from Puck Me Lately – summons Tiger Lily for being a bicycle B-I-M-B-O, and takes her revenge onStash – whose T-shirt procaimed “Follow me – I’m a local” … but the pair of ‘em got lost.
Final AOB from Juicy Pussy – stay thereTiger Lily, we don’t know what happened on the trail but clearly it was embarrassing…Drink it down down down down, and let’s go ON-ON-ON!
Chinese New Year Kick-off Run
Date: Friday 16th February 2018
Run Site: Tradehub 21 @ 8, Boon Lay Way
On-on: On Site – Cherry Picker’s Malay Menu
Hares: Cherry Picker & Roo Rooter
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 40of which Members (16 F & 16 M )
Virgins: Nia from Kinabalu
Visitors & Returnees: 7 (2 F, 5 M)
New Member: none
Next Week’s Hares: Chicken S#t, PoKai & Strapless
Run Site: End of Lorong Lada Hitam
On-On: Famous Kitchen @ 54 Sembawang Rd #01-01 Hong Heng Mansions
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos:Count Dracula
The GMs didn’t rush to start the Circle, but that was okay with most of the runners still re-hydrating after a run that was 2/3 rds of a triathlon. Stand in GM Corny Linguist was a long time changing out of his damp underwear but eventually it’s he who asks the burning question. Well, what did we think of it? The run, not CL’s underwear…Call in the hares!
Despite starting in an industrial area, the hares threw in plenty of thorny, trippy jungle, with two deep water hazards and a booby-trapped drain in between. There were slopes to climb and chains of drains to get to the parts where roads got in the way. Checks were plentiful but slowed the mainstream hashers more successfully than the FRBs. Unusually for a Cherry Picker run there were no hornets to sting us. Complaints were many but none very loud, and even less were original. So it was a GOOD RUN if you were keep-the-shoes- clean hash walker but for butch FRBs, drain crawlers and good swimmers, it was verging on a fantastic run.
So where’s the on-on? Right here at $15 a head including free beer. OK we’ll forgive no drink stop. “Here’s to the hares they’re true blue...”
Next week’s hares? It’s the real Chinese New Year run, on in Chicken S* to tell us how to get to the end of Black Pepper Lane (Lorong Lada Hitam) off Mandai Road, and to the on-on at Famous Kitchen, 54 Sembawang Road, 01-01 Hong Heng Mansions.
GMs, in chorus want to know…” Do we have a Virgin? Yes we do, a pretty one from Kinabalu called Nia, but before we can ask the other important question, Voting B has to take a D-D for failing to brief her before the start. Our virgin enjoyed the run but found it a bit long (so say all of us – Scribe), she was made to come by guest Comes in Turt. Have a D-D and come again!
Voting B calls in the Guests & Returnees Girls: Sticky, Tiger Lily. Men: Butt Wiper, Comes in Turt, Pay to Come & Sperm off Ice. Welcome, get a D-D and let’s have a different song: “Why were they born so beautiful, why were they born at all…”
Hare Whip is actually Herr Whip, Cherry Picker – Oh no, he says, “Actually I’m Herr Prick”, brandishing the blonde’s favourite prosthetic. “Who didn’t cross a river today?” In came the non-swimmers, Trolley Dolly, caught on camera short-cutting, with Chicken S#t, Ditch, Sweet Thighs, Fawlty Bush and guest Sticky. “They’re the meanest…”
Herr Prick then fires the second barrel at the taxi riders who gave up somewhere North of Toh Tuck: Eleven, Shipyard Flasher, Strapless, Trolley Dolly (again!) and, good grief, the GMs herself. “They ought to be publically…”
Strapless & Eleven are held in the circle to await …?? Not done, it’s now co-hare Roo Rooter in his sights. Laying the trail RR observes “You seem to have a problem with spiders…” “Not really, just don’t like the webs all over my face...” “Never mind, I’ll go first!” Next minute there’s a scream from ahead “Aaagh! Spiders!! God, they’re so big!!” What a hypocrite! “He ought to be publically…” So RR also stays in the circle. Still not done, CP calls in Puck Me Lately. She swam the Sungei Pandan well enough, but what were her first words on climbing out? “Hash s#t!!” Never mind, “She’s all right, she’s all right…” So with four victims penned up in the circle, what next? Next was some audience research…”Which of these b*strds is most worthy of the Prick?” There was no room for doubt, the cheer-o-meter went off-scale for Roo Rooter.