Those of us with accounts in UOB are familiar with the Stash slogan, but now it seems our worthy member has his name on taxis. MWhipreminded us that Stash’s better half is OOS in Korea so he’s been out on the town all week. As per TD’s (rather long) story, Stashfell in with a couple of randy Italians and, out very late, couldn’t find a place to stay. They were offered a room in a shophouse by a kindly landlord who pushed his fair daughter into the attic to allow the trio to rest. The rest of the plot resembles the lyrics of the first world war ditty “Parlez-vous” with addition of a creaking floorboard waking up the landlord and the 2 romeos covering it with the miaow of a cat. Stash then tried to upstage the Italians, met the same creaking floorboard but due to alcoholicconfusion called out “It’s only me, the cat…”
After that shaggy dog story, what next, but another…Cherry Picker was summoned to representK9 Hash. One of the members allegedly phoned a vet late at night reporting that the family dog had swallowed a condom. The owner appeared to be very concerned…”Hurry, hurry, please come as soon as possible…” The vet replied that he would do his best but meantime the owner should remain calm. The vet phoned back to say he was on his way, but the owner said “It’s all right, no need, we found another condom in the drawer…” …”He’s the meanest…”
Cereal Killer was next in the stocks for not knowing the difference between Thai pole dancers and the Jakarta version which has people climbing a greasy pole over a smelly canal to claim a prize at the top. Foetus was called in representing the first kind “...Here’s to pole dancers they’re true blue…”
MWhip was not done yet and proceeded to ask people’s help to strip. He had done the Red Dress Run and had not been able to get the bloody thing off. With the help of Goody Bag he finally managed to entertain us to the Circle’s accompaniment of the well known David Rose tune.
Follow that…?? Puck Smuggler did his best with some furiously energetic press-ups as a draw for the Public Service Announcement reminder details as usual on Page One. If you haven’t already, sign up for ….a wondrous weekend of hashy enjoyment. Numbers are ramping up fast, so don’t hang about.
For the First Aid Course, the initial enthusiasm seems to have evaporated. When first mooted there was a lot of interest, but we’re not seeing it reflected in commitments, despite plenty of evidence of need in the meantime. Looking at the response time for emergency ambulances, LCHHH needs first aiders.
Then it was time for TOTW with Airborne protesting that last week’s charge was trumped-up, got the hair shirt for not posting a selfie of his black eye, more PMURT than Trump. And anyway who wants to post on a site with a prat name like Twitter? “Get on with it!” came the shout. TOTW said he noticed the award invariably finished up on a man, this was sexist and not in tune with gender equality. Besides, several Harriets shared Trump-like tendencies so it was past time for balancing. His choice: Pokai, for her efforts in making hashing great again, but was OOS so look-alike Suzy Wong performed the duty.
Next a very special occasion, with Poser calling in all the Scorpios, especially Stash, birthday boy today. Add Astronut (already) along with other nearby birthdays, Saliva, Sir Long & Thin, Mother Mary, Iron Crotch, and Little Prick not forgetting Hilary Clinton (Sunday), and you have the recipe for a party, completed with a very delicious birthday cake…Hashy Birthday puck you, Hashy Birthday you too…”
AOB: Goody Bag charges 8.24 & Puck Smuggler for ignorance of T-shirt sizes…B-I-M-B-O
AOB: Goody Bag again, chargesBibrator, (with what not sure but any charge on Bibrator is a good charge _ - Scribe) “She’s all right…”
AOB: In & Out calls inLittle Prick for wanting to change his hash name “I don’t like my hash name, want to change to Little Dick” “Can not !” says I&O “ we already have a little dick: Coo Chi Coo” “They’re the meanest…”
This charge was supported by Handbag who reported LP for effeminate squawking after entering the slippery drain in 2nd place.
Last AOB from Astronut, who described an accident in a squash game with Dave Holland of the Monday Hash. This did not result in a head injury, quite the opposite, a sore sit-upon. So this justified a hash name that reflected the posterior condition and was duly awarded by the acting GMs.
And on which note the acting GMs & GM called on-on-on !
Circle Report- Run 1857 – A Birthday Run
Date: Friday 27th Oct 2017
Run Site: Clementi Stadium Car Park
On-on: Shi Zi Wei Seafood, Block 431 Clementi Ave 3
Hares: Wanky Pooh & Chastity Belt
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50, of which 36 Members (F 15 & M 21)
Virgins: 2 (1F, 1M)
Visitors & Returnees: 12 (5F, 7M)
New Member: Not this week
Milestones None recorded, GMs skiving in Korea
Next Week’s Hares: Airborne & Guy Fawkes
Run Site: Bukit GombakStadium Car Park
On-On: Meng Kee Seafood, Blk 359 Bkt Batok W Ave 4
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Goody Bag
GM Puck Smuggler having reappeared, was escorted by stand-in GMs Suzy Wong with GMs Voting B* having disappeared, somewhere in Korea. Hares Wanky Pooh & Chastity Belt were called in at 8.05pm to explain where this, occasionally inscrutably marked, run, was actually as such intended to go? More drains than an Orson Welles movie, with slippery bottoms so even the sober couldn’t stand up straight, there was no shortage of checks which ranged from the devious (T-Check on the Sungei Pandan bridge) to the futile (in a playground, FRBs ran straight past). Late-coming FRBs Running Sh*t and Sir Long & Thin spent a lot of time long with In & Out and Airborne in darkest Faberland looking for chalk or flour or anything and not finding it until, following the inbuilt compass in an easterly direction, eventually finding chalk in Jalan Lempeng. So, was it a GOOD RUN…yes, but…more a drains test than a brains trust “They’re the meanest …”
Virgins?Yes two, but Giselle & Mike Smith did a runner before they could be asked the burning question: Who made you come? Thanks for coming anyway and we hope you will come again.
Next Week’s Hare: Airborne lurched out of his senior citizen chair to confess, yes, he will hare the run from Bukit Gombak Stadium… after the trail has been bowdlerised to remove the bits that offended N Parks ….never mind, it will be vaut the voyage as the Michelin Guide puts it. Details up above as usual, on-on a selected SE Asian gastronomic medley of 8 courses.
Guests & Returnees: This week we were honoured with a visit of two Founder Members: Bushy Brow & Dotty, looking remarkably well 35 years on. Well, there you are – hashing will keep you fit. Guest Girls: Do Run Run, Jan, Jeanie, Suction Cup, Men: Alex M, Cereal Killer, Cunni Lick Her, Don Holland, Little Prick, and Samson Letoi. “Here’s to Guests, they’re true blue…”
Hare Whip: Wanky Pooh having no virgins to charge wanted a look-alike so called in Little Prick for flagellating. “He’s the meanest…” After which, consulting hare Chastity Belt revealed the angst he suffered over a part of the run that needed low tide to be hash-runnable…was this the same drain that challenged staying upright? It turned out that low tide was at 5.20pm so it became – if not runnable, slitherable.. Thanks be, as we didn’t have the almighty in the circle give In & Out a D-D instead… Lese majeste?. “Give us a note…” someone in the Circle produced a soprano note of the kind of pitch to which no hasher can aspire, that breaks not only wine glasses but beer mugs too.
And then it was time for…
This week’s Mystery Whip, Trolley Dolly, appearing in a Swiss bobble cap and striped sweater, looking rather overheated. Calling in Trappist Front Runners Alvin, Foetus and Bibrator who were not calling. Were they so out of breath there was nothing left for shouting? Or so far ahead the pack couldn’t hear? Since the FRBs were so competitive T Dolly decided to award medals. The Bronze went to Shipyard Flasher for being overall last home, the Silver to Puck Smuggler in the middle somewhere, and the Gold to Cereal Killer for coming in first.