LCH3 is famous for Short Cutting B*ds. On in Rooning Sh#t and Cunni Lick Her. Coming across a T check, even Tough Nuts had the sense to turn back, but the SCB’s? Oh no, they ran on. So, they ought to be publically...
As CJ surged through the field tonight, he caught up with 8:24. And as he was catching his breath, 8:24 decided he just had to tell the story, about how a member of his staff, didn’t know what the true meaning of Circle Jerk really was? Advising us all not to google it, CJ also reminds 8:24, that he told that exact story on the trail two years ago. Here’s to D Ment IAhhh he’s true blue..... And it was about now, things seemed to have run off the rails. Beer Bitch decided to help out, and with a tray of 5 beers, and the GM’s off having private conversations (I thought you lined up the MMW?), 8:24, following instructions like a true military man, downed em all. Striving, (hopelessly) to regain some control, PS tries to tell a story. “As I usually do, I arrived early, (B/S....), drove up to the run site, wound my window down, tilted my seat back and...(At this point, our GM was rudely interrupted by Sperm Off Ice,)“- and had a w#nk”…”Rollback, rollback, oh rollback...”
Having lost all control, Bibrator is hastily called in, quick, quick, Bahrain man wants to pay – so sign him up and take his money…
Is there a PoTW? Giving up on that, but trying to restore order, the GM nominates almost half the talkative circle – “You will be respectful of your GM,… drink it D,D,D,D....”
Back to the Pr#ck, Ayam Zinking is looking to offload it (as if it hasn’t been b4?). And the candidates are …”Awesome4some, Stick Her Shock, and Puck Me Lately. A very eager (but uncalled) Beer Bitch comes back in and is rejected again. Ayam Zinking proceeds to check out PML’s eff me shoes, like a farrier might shoe a horse. But with the weapon of mass destruction still neatly wrapped up in a bag, PML is only interested in one thing, ‘what’s it look like?” She’s alright, she’s alright...” PMLproclaims that she won’t be here next week, but PS declares, “That’s ok, keep it for two weeks, it’s very packable, just remember not to pack the batteries.
ToTW??? It’s been a very eventful week, so on in CCC as the Nominee for the Supreme Court (the one that thinks Presidents shouldn’t be charged), Bibrator for Stormy Daniels, who was arrested for touching a patron (and what’s wrong with that?), and the Germans - give us your best laugh - Cherry Picker responds, we have no sense of humour. But it seems the female German newsreader does. Upon reading the story of Trump saying the Germans are held captive by the Russians, she couldn’t control herself. “Germans, have no sense of humour, huh, huh, huh, huh...” But despite all that, Stormy Bibrator gets the oversized shirt for this week.
Guam guest then decides to charge Sperm Off Ice and Beer Bitch, for sexually suggestive behaviour, and forms a tunnel of spanking for their misdemeanours - they’re alright, they’re alright.....
MMW??? With the beer running perilously low, and Pokai’s stress levels going off the scale, as she does a loaves and fishes with the remaining bottles, she was hoping for a short charge and on on on. Oh no, it was Roo Rooter taking over - and who can I offend tonight? First off it’s Circle Jerk. As Roo Rootergrabbed some foliage whilst falling down a slope, Circle Jerk explained that the lubricant from the plant might be irritating to the skin? What has he been putting where? He’s the meanest, he...” And stay in CJ. As his dog was rolling in the mud, CJ was heard to say that, for Tough Nuts, was better than sex? But how is that possible since Tough Nuts has had his removed? CJ - drink it D.D.D.D…”
Time for some run awards? Ayam Zinking has clocked up 400 runs - well done, but PML declares - keep your shirt on - who ate all the pies...... Next it’s Fawlty Towers, who has achieved the incredible milestone of 50 runs with LCH3, after 9 years of hashing in SG over a 13 year period? Or was there a slight accounting issue with previous mismanagement committee? Circle Jerk says something about a negative run count, but Strapless calls him out – “He’s dumb, he’s dumb...”
Next week’s run? It’s another Fawlty run, now fully approved by NParks , at the very end of Chestnut avenue. Mr. Hoe’s pork and veg on site. And for the on-on-on, feel free to join the 10th anniversary memorial drinks for Fag Sucker (Alan Power) at Muddy Murphy’s.
And by now, it’s well past 9pm, there is no beer left, and we have a crowd of hungry hashers. What to do, but on on on… Great job Pokai for managing the hashbrew duties under duress, and to theGM’s for doing their very best to manage a somewhat unruly crowd…Well done, hares too, for a great run, drinks stop and a traditional LCH3 on on. Another great start to the weekend.
Run 1894 Circle Report
13th July 2018 – Unlucky for Some Run
Run Site: Blackmore Drive
On-on: Red Lantern
Hares: Ayam Zinking, Pokai, Trolley Dolly
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 57, of which 45 Members (21F, 24 M)
Virgins: 1 Imogen
Guests & Returnees: 11 (4 F, 7 M)
Milestones: Fawlty Towers 50 runs
Ayam Zinking 200 runs.
Circle Jerk: 500 runs
Next Week’s Hares: Fawlty Towers & Fawlty Bush
Run Site: see below
On-On: see below
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
It was 8:08pm on a blessedly dry evening, and the hashers were straggling back from their various hash showering efforts, many enjoying their first Crossroads lager, when ourGM Puck Smuggler abruptly called to circle up. And as the circle slowly formed, let’s get started with the first of God knows how many charges tonight. “And where has my co-GM been?” “At the hairdressers, no doubt!” Here’s to the curly one, she’s true blue...”
Puck Me Lately downs her beer and calls in the hares - Pokai, Trolley Dolly and Ayam Zinking. And Trolley Dolly relates the story of the Wizard of Oz? Pokai as the Scare Crow, TD as the Tin Man, and Ayam Zinking as Dorothy? And they merrily skipped around the circle to the theme song. But, amongst the frivolity, our GMs persist, it’s Friday the 13th, and we have the no name run? And Pokai immediately responds, it’s called the run of the year! And well it may have been, for despite the calls of too much mud, too much shiggy, too many train tracks and too many…
Bring in the nervous virgin – Imogen. And what did you think of your first ever LCH3 run? “Very muddy!” Indeed, says Puk Smuggler, but you didn’t need to worry about running along the train track - that train only runs on Thursdays - Gentlemen, she’s all right, she’s all right, she’s a little......
PML has the order right and calls in the guests& returnees - all 11 of them – Girls: Mother Tongue, Imogen, Yumi, & Beer Bitch … Men: Or Ful Fxxk, Adam, Telecum, Sperm On Ice, Cunny Lick Her, Bailed Pussy, Cherry Popper…”Here’s to the guests...”
Do we have any returnees? A somewhat reluctant Foetus timidly comes in (it’s ok dear, you’re not getting the PoTW), and as PML calls for a note, (as she can’t remember a song) Beer Bitch, who’s more than a little Brahms & Liszt, belatedly works out she is also a returnee, and so it’s Bimbos all round, B.I.M.B.O.....
Now it’s time for the Hare whip? But b4 TD can get into his stride, Pokai charges the GMs for not asking about the on-on? “It’s at the Red Lantern!” declares Ayam Zinking. He has put a lot of effort into this, so get ready for 7 of the RL’s best dishes, and free beer from the hares! “3, 2, 1, drink it down, down, down, down...”
Now the real Hare whip takes charge. And without his ironing board, he looks around for a prop. Evicting the scribe from his seat, TD places the chair in the middle of the circle, pours a bag of ice on the seat, and invited Puck Smuggler to drop his daks and sit down. Which he obediently does. This week is all about Football (is that Soccer?). On in a representative of the English losers - Circle Jerk – “Why was he born so...” And representing Croatia, it’sMother’s Tongue - she’s the meanest.........
And whilst PS can no longer feel the bits that count for a man, TD goes on, “And in other news, Trump is in the UK causing chaos this week, so on in Voting Bitch, protesting that we don’t want him so Brits can keep him, but the circle declare nonetheless – “She’s the meanest.... And as TD relieves himself (so to speak) of his duties, he informsPS that he can stop luxuriating himself on the ice. And PML instructs PS to put your pants on and drink it D,D,D,D..”
And now, says PML, its time, for, the, Mystery Whip? And whilst it may have been precisely 8:24 (Cock Radio was a genius with that naming), it’s in fact Circle Jerk who takes the floor. On in Strapless. Is he becoming nicer? Strapless looks on confused? But tonight our local, in preparation for National day, helped three hashers, and CJ’s faithful Tough Nuts (actually, minus the nuts) over a log. Here’s to the softie, he’s true blue.....