Hares: Astronut, Poser and Stash
On-on: Master Crab
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 61 of which 37 Members (17F, 20M)
Virgins: Domingos, Geoffrey, Leo, Bernd, Hortesse and Mathilde
Guests: Dirty Groper, Big Albert, Dumpling, Le, Huey Blar, Cinderella, Penny
Returnees: Herr Linquist, Cunning Linquist, Skidmark, En Suite, 14 Penguins, Sweet Tongue
Ex GM’s: Flashman, Dickless, DIY, Bugle Boy and In n Out
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
Welcome to 2020 and the 21st New Year recovery run. Chastity Belt and stand in Grand Mattress – Wonton, are struggling to make themselves heard over the nearby road, large circle and chatty New Year catch ups. So, what to do – let’s see if they’ll listen to the hares? On in Astronut, Poser and Stash, with assistance from Comes Quietly and Dumpling. So, WDWTOTRun? Some suggest a technical hash sh#t?, some say it was a technically good run? Ok says our GM, you can redeem yourself with 3 bottles per table - so anyway where is the on on? Master Crab, $12, it’s at the Sunshine Place say Astronut, (and not the place where the sun shines from Astronut!). Here’s to the very good run, they’re true blue…..
Next week’s emergency hares? It’s 8:24 and he has left already or is still on trail. See y’all at Blackmore Drive.
Virgins? There are 6 of them and Coo Chi Coo is beside himself. On in Domingos, Geoffrey, Leo, Bernd, Hortesse and Mathilde. But some of them seem so young, so our hash brew Circle Jerk is asking for ID (or phone numbers?) Here’s to the virgins, they’re true blue…..
Visitors: Mrs. Manning is enjoying her GnT in the chair, so let’s leave her alone and get the rest in for a down down. On in Dirty Groper, Big Albert, Dumpling, Le, Huey Blar, Cinderella and Penny. Here’s to the visitors……
Returnees: Flashman, Dickless, DIY, Bugle Boy and In n Out, Herr Linquist, Cunning Linquist, Skidmark, En Suite, 14 Penguins and Sweet Tongue – Why were they born so……..
Astronut is ahead of himself, and begins the hare whipping by calling back the ex GM’s - Flashman, Dickless, DIY, Bugle Boy and In n Out. They ought to be publicly… And after being formally invited to continue, he calls in Poser. Apparently Stash was taken ill on the second recce (there were 2?), and then today Wonton informed Poser that Stash had to bow out coz he was confined to the throne. And thenPoser, knowing she would be next on the list to lay the run, says, oh sh#t, I don’t want to go into the jungle with Astronut – I’ll get poked and scratched all over! So Poser gets Comes Quietly to step in for a good poking instead. She’s alright, she alright….. Next is the man mountain – Huey Blar. Despite Astronut’s bestest instructions at the start – go over the drain, down a bit, back over the fence and on in, Big Huey couldn’t seem to get his leg over (try the elevator at 4 floors suggests Chastity Belt). And the only song for that was – put your, left leg over my shoulder, put your right leg….
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery Whip??? Let me introduce myself says Croc O’S#t, trying to impress the virgins? C O’S came for a good run, but ended up with a XXXL T-shirt. And despite Poser’s assurance, it was a bit tight. And then he asks Poser about the on on. Oh yes, we have one of those, but I’m just not sure where – let me ask Wonton? Here’s to the co-hare, she’s true blue…. Now this is a fine circle tonight, and the GM’s have full control, and when CB asked for quiet, everyone except Wankie Pooh and Dirty Groper stopped talking? Here’s to the pretend Grand Master of the house…… Arriving in the epitome of comfort and class tonight, C O’S turns up in a GrabCar6, full of French people – all beautiful and ready to impress. Except for this crazy LTA women – Saliva, directing them to park a mile away. If it wasn’t for that, the entire circle could be witnessing the Frenchie’s showering right now. C O’S loves the hash, but his French friends just don’t get it. One girl in particular kept asking questions – like about 47 of them. Do I have to wear long socks, can I wear my glasses – oh I don’t have any, and on and on. So C O’S goes to the hashers source of all knowledge – the NTK (Need to Know) web sheet and sends to his friend. But he gets a message back that it’s not in a hand phone friendly format, nor in her native language. So C O’S downloads the correct version, goes to Google and does the full translation, and sends to Penny. And Penny responds – No Pay Lah? Here’s to Penny Pay Lah……
PoTWeek? Cherry Picker claims he has just seen him. And he’s right – it’s C O’S, who is back in taking out his Santa toy. Turns out the last time he had this was in 2006 (does that make him a virgin?), and back then, it didn’t have tape, it was harder, it vibrated, was longer, but it’s what we’ve got. And parading it around the circle for everyone to see it’s state of disrepair – oh come on, you’ve all had this b4. And tonight it will go to the hasher, who asked me on the run – how come your son is taller and slimmer. On in Sweet Thighs to accept the aging swizzle stick – she’s alright, she’s alright…..
And now it’s time for the Mystery, Mystery, Whip??? Seems our GM has pulled a master stroke so to speak, and has convinced Iron Crotch finally. Some come to run, some to walk, some just to drink, and some I don’t know why. But last week I did the whole run – by mistake. I listened to a hasher, and went the wrong (ie: right) way. And half way up the hill, I was shamelessly pushed in the backside and pulled up by my shorts. But thanks to the chivalrous Linquists – Corny and Cunni, I was saved. Let’s get a lookalike in – it’s Herr Linquist. And despite his chivalrousness, he pushed me in the butt so hard, he almost broke his finger. But that’s the last time this Iron Crotch is going in the jungle! He’s the meanest, he…….
We all know the real estate market is going down – it’s become really tough for the property agents. So it seems they have to diversify, and go into the pizza business? It seems the property business is so devastated, our very own Awesome Foursome, has been offering herself as part of the deal? And Iron Crotch parades a Dominos pizza pamphlet, and asks Coo Chi Coo to read it out. It’s the Awesome Foursome pizza and it’s a 2 4 1 – she’s alright, she’s alright…..
Chastity Belt has been reminded of a joke by Croc O’Sh#t – the one about the blonde who walks into the dry-cleaner with a dress with a stain. And the laundry man says – come again? Oh says the blonde, I thought it was ice cream? It must be time for AoB?
In n Out is in with a song for Stash – Stan, Stan, the lavatory man……. D.D.D.D…….
Handbag is in, and calls back Iron Crotch, who tonight was balancing on a fence on her Iron Crotch, whilst explaining to Handbag a particularly painful waxing. Bush really was better than Trump? And HB has a special song – rich girls use vaseline, whilst poor girls just use lard……
Chastity Belt calls in Astronut. He’s already had a few and needs a translation for the wording on the T-shirt? He’s dumb, he’s dumb…..
Skidmark positions Croc O’Sh#t there, and mountain man Huey Blar there, and re-enacts his T-shirt collection tonight, where he was at the front of the far queue, followed by these two mammoths. Can I have a 3XXXL please. Poser (obviously saving the big un’s for the next in line) – you’re not that big? Who ate all the pies!
Dumpling charges our stand in GM – Wonton, who is always calling men - women, and women – men. And the victim is always Stash, who keeps getting called a women (and Cherry Picker asks, does she have inside information?) B.I.M.B.O…..
And with that, the Master Crabs are calling, and the beer is almost gone, and so it’s on on on. Well done GM’s, and an excellent recovery run and T-shirt by our hares. See y’all at 8:24’s next week
Hares: Astronut, Poser and Stash
Here is how you should have ran!