PoTW? Pokai comes in dragging her suitcase - has it grown? Delving in, she pulls out something rather largish, covered in a Takashimaya shopping bag. Handbag is over heard - eat a banana and calm down girl! But Pokai is delving deep in her suitcase and pulls out an even bigger Pr#ck - the ToTW. Today we have a 2in1 - the Pr#ck and an Assh#le. The rest of the charge is in a strange mix of Japanese and Singlish - (even Tiger Lily seemed confused). But the circle get it, and with the most vocal Ahhhh Soooooo, its Cherry Picker(Pussy family patriach) for the ToTW, and the non running Juicy Pussy gets custodianship (just temporarily, young gal) of the PoTW. Here’s to them, they’re true blue....
MW? After lots of fake news, it’s our GM – Puck Smuggler who had texted himself, and accepted the job. First off it’s Comes Quietly. Patting down his remaining hair, PS admires his aerodynamic stramlining. Was this the reasonComes Quietly, storming up the stairs, missing a step, but managing to stay upright hoping on one leg? He ought to be publically.... Next it’s Stash and Strapless, for not following trail and avoiding the slopes, and just running down the sidewalk. Stash claims - my big brother made me do it, but the circle sing - they ought to be..... Our GM then regales us with inner workings of our committee. Seems the beer and cheese set, having solved the hash’s problems (we still have beer), and have now turned their combined intellect to solving world peace. Meanwhile, PS read an article claiming men’s IQ was 5 points higher than their better halves? Surely this is just another major problem our hash committee can definitively solve? And with much of the committee away last week - Pokai drinking beer with old men in JB, Pr#ck Me and FawltyTowers sailing, Bibrator at a 4 for 1 sale, it was left to the core of the brains trust. And the theory was unanimously debunked, when Won Ton sent a Watsapp msg to the committee – “My husband went to the on-on and left his cup behind”. On in Stash - was that a B cup? He’s dumb, he’s dumb he’s really, really...
AoB? You bet, and on in, In n Out. Putting years of public school education to fine use, he calls in Tits for tea, and sings: You can’t have tits for breakfast, you can’t have tits for tea...” On in Juicy Pussy - is this a vengeance charge? The GM was kind of praising the committee, but JP calls in Pokai, Trolly Dolly and Bibrator. As a teacher, I trust people. But then I received a msg from Bibrator – Are you going to the hash? Nah, I have to work. Just come and enjoy the circle beers? Recognising a “teacher, teacher’ snitch, JP was pulled aside by Trolly Dolly – it’s all been planned to get you the black d#ck. They’re all the meanest....”
Chicken Dicken tries to get a charge in, but the GM insists, ladies first, so on in Circle Jerk. Apparently, the hash has been like family to CJ, but he now needs some advice (no, not f off you.....). CJ has uncovered a potential competitor who has a boner for his wife - 11. During last week’s Hari Raya Haji holiday, 11 spent the day online, searching Tao Bao for yoga gear to wear on the hash. Raising eyebrows (amongst other things),11, in her stripper pants, caught the attention of In n Out . He ought to be publically.....
Ditch has some calling out to do, and duly calls in Fawlty Towers, Handbag and Circle Jerk, for leading the second half of the pack miles off track up the slopes, following a false second out trail. Here’s to the trail f ups, they’re true blue....
Tiger Lily calls in the hares. By now the alcohol has truely kicked in and there’s private circles everywhere – “STFUp!!” calls Tiger. Chicken Dicken has been rather outspoken tonight, (don’t go there, protests CD to no avail) but it seems he has not quite been the team player. However last Sunday, when Tiger Lilywas the hare, CD was listening and being fully compliant and recognising his senior master, - because everyone knows a Tiger can swallow a Chicken!! – “They’re alright, they’re alright...”
Back in Juicy Pussy, with part two of an almost true story (CCC - you’re still a virgin?). Having identified Trolly Dolly as the first snitch, it seems Poser is the second. I always thought Poser would be a bit difficult to talk to, but Poser came up to me tonight, exclaiming Bibrator has just come back from Japan with a present forJP. Was it Sake? No, it was the black d#ck. “She’s alright, she’s alright, she’s a little...”
Trolly Dolly tells us he was late to the run today (Pokai’s fault, of course). And so too was Bibrator. And one of the joys of being late, was that TD could enjoy a gentle stroll whilst having some (social) intercourse with Bibrator, without Cherry Picker pestering them with – “Keep running...” B/s, b/s, it all sounds like....”
And despite Chicken Dicken’s best efforts (I don’t exist?) to get in another charge, GM’s call on, on, on at 8:54pm, and across the road to Meng Kee Seafood for more good cheer… Great job stand in hares, an excellent run and on on, and another excellent circle by our GM’s, fully fuelled up by Mr. Lim and our hash brew. On-on-on till next week…
ECO-FRIENDLY LCHHH… follow the good example of Astronut, Cherry Picker and Mother Mary, joined now by Ditch & Stash, BYO mug … or bottle warmer…to save on plastics
24th August 2018 – Run 1901
Run Site: Bukit Gombak Stadium Car Park
Hares: Chicken Dicken & Airborne
On-on: Meng Kee Seafood, Block 359,
Bukit Batok W Ave 5
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 41 of which 36 Members (17 F, 19 M)
Guests & Returnees: 5 (3 F,2 M)
Milestones: Coo Chi Coo’s 1400th run
Next Week’s Hares: Windy Bar and After Hours
Run Site: Gymkhana Ave – Jalan Mashor
On-On: Red Lantern aka Forture Seafood
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 7:55pm, and I’ve just got a hand on my first beer, and Puck Smugglercalls the crowd to order. Bugger - get a chair and light, put the beer down and get writing. WDWTOTRun? Too much shiggy, too many hills, too many out trails, too much running (huh?), but indeed this was a Chicken Dicken lickin’ good run. “Here’s to the hijack hares, they’re true blue...”
On on? Across the road at the usual Meng Kee Seafood, for a gourmet Airborne selection and free beer - all welcome.
Stand in GM Wonton reminds us about next week’s run? Do we have one? Is there a hare? Apparently it’s Windy Barand After Hours, but no one seems to know - read your bloody newsletter.
On in the visitors – the fit looking National Service guy (hariettes, pls behave) - Puki Merah and Tits for Tea (I’m not making this up). Apparently they all came by themselves, and the NS guy ran 4km just to get to the run? “Here’s to the guests, they’re true blue...”
Returnees? Mother’s Tongue and Tiger’s Lily(ask Chicken Dicken). “They ought to be publically...”
Puck Smuggler – “stay in Tiger’s Lily”. It was a very clear afternoon, a refreshing shower had cleared the air, perfect visibility, but our TL was calling “checking”, whilst standing beside paper! Then later, calling “on on” in the woods having sped past a white foam box? B.I.M.B.O.....
“Do we have a hare whip - a replacement for 8:24??” Chicken Dicken forgets the plot and calls in Juicy Pussy, Tiger Lily and the apparently new member of the Pussy family - Cherry Picker. Who is the real Juicy Pussy? Who knows, they’re all B.I.M.B.O’s.....
The real hare whip - Airborne takes over. “This was the easiest run I’ve ever had to hare!” he exclaims. “Chicken Dicken did all the work and laid the entire trail. I just had to be a consultant and answer two questions – 1) how long should it be (I assume he was talking about the run) and 2) Is it too difficult for the Friday crowd? Nooooooo way. “Here’s to the hare, he’s true blue...”
Wonton calls in Coo Chee Coo, and he promptly drops his beer (thankfully not his pants), and somehow manages to splash his private parts and also to spray beer all over Cum Pussand the hash brew. Calm down young man! Wonton goes on – “At every committee meeting this year, we have had to address a question from CCC - where is my run award T shirt?” But every time we bring his award shirt, he is not here, and when he is, we forget the shirt. But tonight we’ve got it right, and so off, off, off, very quickly followed by on, on, on. And so after #1400 runs, there is only one song – “Get a life, get a life, life, life...”
WonTon asks, “What’s the time?” But Pokai steams in with a Trolly Dolly-bag of haberdash. On in 11 and Spreads Wide. Their sin? - not wearing hash gear. So Pokai goes into overdrive - pulling all sorts of tops out of her bag, its 1 for $5 and 3 for $10. She’s not joking and the girls get some cash and get attired to calls of off, off, off (and in this case, as opposed to CCC’s, it was called with real meaning)
And now, it really is time for the Mystery Whip. On in Trolly Dolly, calling for a run report, from the very fresh looking Juicy Pussy? Of course she was just there for the beer - B.I.M.B.O.... Next it’s a yachtie story - on in Skip, aka In n Out. Seems whilst sailing the good ship Simba, he lost his rudder - that must have been a bit inconvenient, man? And Cherry Picker’s contribution - now he’s a lady boy! Continuing on, TD tells us another boat sailed by – the fully automatic Fawlty Tower’s one, pretending not to hear and sailing on whilst enjoying a GnT. Yet another boat comes along, with
Captain Handbag on the helm. Do you know where you are young man, he enquires? Yes Captain responds Skip - 5 degrees, 2 point 770 minutes North, 100 degrees, 11 point 151 minutes East. “Where the f… is that?” says Handbag. You must be management material - no idea where you are, where you’re going, or how to get there”. Get a real rudder man, D.D.D.D.... It’s never short with TD… 3rd charge begins – “In the UK we have MI5, the US has the CIA, Russia the KGB, and Singapore the LTA. So who polices the SG National Servicemen?” On in the hash visitor, and Strapless, and Blur
Like Sotong - turns out he is Malaysian so is charged anyway for avoiding service. Here’s to the national hero’s, they’re true blue... Quickly followed by the new Hollywood hit - Crazy Rich Asians. Apparently the author, just like Blur Like Sotong, avoided national service. On in Circle Jerk and Cherry Picker for due admonishment - they’re the meanest.....