PML comes in, she's been away for 2 weeks but it feels like she's never been away... "plus ca change...” well somethings never change dear, it's called SNAFU. POTW is missing again. What is it about the priapic prosthesis that keeps it in custody of, not one but both sexes? Right on cue, enter Hooray to shouts of "B-I-M-B-O..."
But the good-hearted man has remembered we are on the edge of Mothers Day and he just wants to call in all the mothers... and they duly fill the circle, which leaves out only a few of the LCHHH female membership, exposing them to the more predatory of the males.
As POTW, so also is TOTW missing - not in action, surely? The Donald has been more than usually embarrassing to America recently - he's axed funding for NASA's Earth Satellite program, helping to avoid being found out about giving a new lease of life to smokestack industries. He still believes global warming is a Chinese conspiracy. Maybe that's why no civilized hasher wants to be seen in the robe... Windy Bar, come out from behind that tree, and bring it back next week!!.
Mystery Mystery Whip: three putative candidates enter, of which Comes Quietly, the intellectual hasher's whip, turns out to be the real thing. ·Cherry Picker get your ass in here..."CQ relates how he hasn't had time to get out of the car before CP, clipboard in hand, is trying to nail him for something. "He ought to be..." Next, come in Stash, remember when I asked, were you sure about the T-check you found on the other side of the footbridge, what you said? Something like "uuughh aaaahh uughh aaah..." Are you as fit as you think? But the circle (we've all been there) relented... "He's all right..".
That left one bullet in CQ's armoury which he reserved on behalf of the Donald for Running S#t who fervently believes that DT should not be given the Nobel Peace Prize for bringing together the 2 Messrs Kim. "He's all right..." (Rooning S#t not the other one - Scribe).
AOB time and first away is Guest Irish Spring who clearly has a penchant for mammaries, of which Stick Her Shock has a prime example, prompting a salacious stream of doubles entendres which was lost on most leg men like your dutiful Scribe.
Next AOB was refereed by GMs who awarded the bottle to, but was unable to name, In & Out Oh well, once a B-I-M-Bo always a B-I-M-B-O-OOO.
In & Out's charge, eventually, was on Saliva for reminding him of a British TV comedy series called "Are you being Served", which, apart from inuendo-filled dialogue, had a scene where two shop assistants were washing a mannequin under a poncho, for the sake of decency. Whilst that would be overkill anywhere except the Middle East, we can hardly blame Saliva for being decent. "She's all right.. "
AOB:Cherry Picker calls in GMs and asks (Germans are not noted for tact & diplomacy) "Are you old enough to be Grand Mistress? .. What kind of question is that??" If you're old enough to be GMs you're old enough to set a run!!" The circle sides with the GMs... "She's all right..."
AOB: Stash points out that the F## Me shoes worn by GMs are about three sizes too big, they don't fit at either the toes or the heels. Who lent them to you?? The circle awarded points for trying. (Good point, Stash .. .the F# Me shoes were someone else's trademark given a new lease of life by the successor. Time for a new style ... GMs ... how about thigh-length black boots worn with tight black hot pants? -Scribe).
AOB: Butt Wiper on the subject of decency reveals that GMs was seen changing, with her chastity protected only by a hand towel held at 2m distance by Pays to Cum. "Here's to PTs they're true blue ... "
AOB fromTrolley Dolly, who remembers the AGM run and, in the showers afterwards, hears a voice asking loudly "Has anyone got a towel?" The someone turned out to be Puck Smuggler... "He's the meanest..." Good grief, we have a GM who doesn't know where his towel is?
At which point GMs distracts by revealing that two Harriets were seen hip-wiggling during the run - come in Juicy Pussy & Bibrator... give us a sample ... "They're all right. .."
And then it's time to go... on-on-on at only 8.50 pm
Run 1886 - 11th May 2018
Run Site: West Coast Walk· Clementi Stadium
On-on: Block 431 Clementi Avenue 3
Hares: Chastity Belt .. Wanky Pooh
Total Run! Circle Attendance: 56, of which 49 Members ( 25 F, 24 M)
Virgins: Another hairy one?
Guests and Returnees: 7 (3F, 4 M)
Next Week's Hares: Airbome
Run Site: Turf City car Park upper level
On-on: Forture seafood aka Red Lantern
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Backbeard
Under a darkening black cloud, thunder rumbled and rain threatened, but then the weather relented and left the (mostly) chalked trail intact. The hares were lucky and got only a mild wigging from the 50-strong circle when GM Puck Smuggler finally succeeded in getting our act together after a 10-minute count-down. Too much? Shiggy! Chalk! Concrete! AYE... Not enough? Drink stop, chalk, river walk... the usual stuff, so with the GM leaning on the scales it was GOOD RUN.
Hares - tell us about your on-on ... Chastity Belt gave - highly detailed - instructions for both walkers (short) & drivers (long) to Clementi Ave Block 431 coffee shop.
Next Week's hare Airborne promised there would be a run next week but wasn't sure where. His first choice had been taken over by a Nursery School whose posh little nippers were not into x-country. Not sure about beer. ''Get 'em in!" shouted some optimist. On-on would be at the Red Lantern so that much at least was on firm ground. (Scribe- see above for latest info)
At this point someone noted the stranger in the circle ... Puck Me Lately having lately not been around for the last 2 weeks. She was welcomed back in typical Hash fashion with heckling & B-I-MB- O. Fortunately the Grand Mattress had not forgotten the order of business and was able to nudge the now seriously challenged GM Puck Smuggler to call in the...
Guests & Returnees: Girls: Pink Fanny; Men: Backbeard,Chicken Dickin, Ginja Ninja, Irish Spring. Give'em a note.. .'Why were they born.. ." Returnees: Foetus & Shipyard Flasher.:They're all right, they're all right..."
GM calls in Trolley Dolly for bleating .. ."I've had a shit week.. ." "Keep it to yourself, they'll all want one.. ." or in other words "shut the f# up, so have I... "
Hare Whip Chastity Belt: reminds us that if a hasher appears in the circle in NEW SHOES they have to take a DD, he has noticed not new shoes but a NEW CAR!!...come in Saliva. CB reasons that if a pair of shoes takes a bottle to fill, a new car should take a barrel - brandishing one of Maskerbator's empties. But "She's all right, she's all right. .."
CB reported the huge effort put into doing recces, especially the on-on, where co-hare Wanky Pooh fastidiously chose and confirmed all 8 dishes on the menu, before the subject got round to beer. A shaking head from the proprietor, revealed she was in a temperance establishment. So come on in WP and take the D-D ... hopefully the real thing...B-I-M-B-O.
Mystery Whip - No Good complained she was getting more and more stressed by traffic jams, the latest being caused by tree-felling. So she called in Cherry Picker for being the hash's most prolific tree-cutter. Dunno if it was deserved but it was a good charge anyway. "He's the meanest..." No Good's next victim was Maskerbator for disturbing her whilst she was in a beauty salon.