First time coming in after a long absence, the POTW makes an appearance in the custody of Auditurd… She’s been told she’s got to pick someone for the next holder, so how? The gal knows how to delegate, so she calls in the circle to make the decision… after first limiting it to between the two hares. “Good choice!” comes the shout. After two shout-offs the decision is CLH 100 dB, SOI 85dB so CLH is POTW…”here’s to the Prick, he’s true blue…” Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
Mystery Whip is indeed a mystery, a lot of guys walk across the circle, but they’re only going to refill glasses. Finally it’s Ditch who speaks… but not for long… ”I was running at the front of the pack…” Bulls#t, Bulls#t cried the Circle…” Seems there were some missing trail markings here and there and some lost short-cutters looked for a guide. Strapless (follow me I’m a local) offered his services but it seems his local knowledge didn’t stretch up Mt Faber. Trouble appeared for the pack in the shape of 200+ upward steps with a T-check. This didn’t stop the said Strapless from boasting his local knowledge (”Bulls#t, Bulls#t from Chicken S#t this time). Finally, for a three-in-one, Ditch nails Strapless for not knowing the way off Mt Faber. B-I-M-B-O…
Mystery2 Whip with a chance to get his own back is Strapless but he needs a genuine prick… and it’s Coo Chi-Coo who qualifies. “I’m not running today because…” “Here’s to the real prick…” Next in, by proxy cos she left early, is guest Just Married, who tried to do everything including the 202 steps, though Strapless claimed to have been up there first.(more BS…) Next charge was on Running S#t who refused to go up the 202 steps even with his partner in crime Sweet Thighs.who was also draggedin for a D-D.
After that, what next? AOB of course, and first in is Ayam Zinking who wants to praise Awesome 4-some for creative sign language ... not to mention use of phone to call up the hares “I’m at this T-check, where do we go next?” “Here’s to the awesome...”
Next,Butt Wiper, brings us to a quiet moment, reminding us that it’s the anniversary of the passing of Dragon’s Breath. After which he charges the excuse mongers... Tight Lips and Lethal Weapon ... “I did what Hooray told me...” Get it D-D-D-D.
Now it’s 8.37 and a cheer goes up as Circle Jerk emerges from the darkness... “where were you, Orchard Towers?” “Lost after the tunnel...” As it’s AOB time, CJ grabs the chance to insult the hares (we all do that) then reports that, out along the run, he came across the letters LCH3 set in ancient concrete. He wanted to know who was old enough to have left this memento? Bully and Astronut were obvious choices, so took a D-D.
Stash then wanted to ask CJ who broke the T-check that was at the foot of the 202 steps, certainly it wasn’t Strapless. Apparently no-one did, sadistic hashers?.
Tight Lips called in Hooray & Circle Jerk on a reprise of the “Follow Hooray” charge, according to TL neither knew where to go … a pair of B-I-M-B-Oes... Another two B-I-M-B-Oes were Running S#t, who couldn’t remember how to put on a sarong, and Strapless, who couldn’t tell him how to.
Last charge under AOB is Butt Wiper who gives a slightly obscure D-D to hares 1 and 2 “ Here’s to the back pocket boys, they’re true blue...”
At 8.47pm our stand-in GM though still standing, calls for on-on-on and it’s thanks to the hares for a tough trail, and all the other volunteers that helped to make it a memorable run.
Run 1949 Circle Report
Guest Hares: Sperm off Ice & Cunni Lick Her
On-on: Ming Kitchen, Telok Blangah Cres.
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 33 of which 28 Members ( 13F, 15M)
Virgins: Scared off by the Hares
Guests & Returnees: (2F, 1M) 2 Guest Hares
New Members: Not this week
Circle Scribe: Airborne Photos: Count Dracula
This week’s stand-in GM is sarong-clad Running S#t and he’s aided and abetted by locumGMs Wonton. Off we go at 8.00pm without more ado into WDWTOTR?? Well, what? Needless to say there was a lot of chatter about up & down, not enough shiggy, water crossings that needed a wide spread and other challenges. Also we had a notable MIA, Circle Jerk was still out there somewhere, dogless.
The two hares, like wannabe dragons, were puffing a mixture of smoke, Cunni Lick Her on a cigar and Sperm On Ice on his usual Golden Vagina. They had worked hard with an unpredictable Long that had plenty of checks (too many, said some) and a well-marked and thoughtfully laid Short. The two runs came together quite neatly with FRBs on the Long arriving at the ON HOME at the same time as SOBs on the Short.
GMs & FRBs were quite prepared to give it a GOOD RUN, but some SCB had arrived back before the stipulated one hour so, surprisingly, the hares volunteered to give it a HASH S#T. Nevertheless…”Here’s to hares, they’re true blue…”
So… where’s your on-on? CLH has a problem deciding whether to remove the beer or the cigar from his mouth, so we get a garbled muttering, shouts of “Speak English” and a D-D for B-I-M-B-O. Finally we learn it’s at Ming Kitchen on Telok Blangah Crescent and only $12 for mumble-mumble courses & BYO beer.
No Virgin this week so Wonton calls in the Guests, and we have Just Married, Lethal Weapon & Chong. “Why were they born…”
Next Week’s Run … do we have a run next week? Wonton announces that thanks to Bangcook we do, Run 1950 will be starting from the car park at the back of St George’s Church. That’s on Keene Rd but the way in is via Harding Rd. On-on is at the world renowned Samy’s Curry.
Seizing droit de seigneur before the hares can get whipping, Running Sh#t calls in Comes Quietly, Bully and Ditch. What have these likely lads in common? They’re all picky parkers! All took ages to find the right spot, then moved again to park just so, changing places several times. Ditch re-parked twice after the run…to give Sweet Thighs more privacy for showering? “Here’s to procrastinators, they’re true blue…”
First Hare Whip, is SOI. “Finally the Hash has got it right! Eleven has managed to lose her other half (still MIA at 8.30pm), but still does the Hash Brew job better. “Here’s to the half-chopper, she’s true blue…” Now where’s Butt Wiper? in trouble with FR girls who jibbed at spreading their legs wide enough to gross a drain. Seems vulgar comments upset the girls so BW took a D-D to the tune of “A sol-, a-sol, a-soldier I will be, Two pis-,two pis-, two pistols I’ll carry…” Last from SOI, noting LCH3 is a well organised hash, so well, he says, people phone me the day before the run wanting to know – is the run do-able? What a question for a hasher! Come in Coo Chi Coo. No excuses, we know about your ankle problem, stop whining & get it D-D.
2nd Hare Whip CLH also wants to remark on LCH3 organisation… come in Count Dracula! CLH complains that CD called him about 3 months ahead of the date to know the run site. Then a week later he called to know the on-on. Seems the Count knew the two hares would be OOO at different times and he wanted to get it sorted before they disappeared. What else do you expect of a former oil company executive? “He’s the meanest…”