Run 1896 Circle Report

20th July 2018 – The Only NP Approved Run

Run Site: End of Chestnut Ave

On-on: On Site Mr Hoe

Hares: Fawlty Bush & Fawlty Towers

 

Total Run/ Circle Attendance:   50, of which 42 Members (19 F, 23 M)

Virgins:                                     1 (Rachel)

Guests & Returnees:                 7 (4 F, 3M)

Milestones: Comes Quietly: 50 runs

Next Week’s Hares: Sperm off Ice & Puck Smuggler

Run Site: Bulim Ave Aka Wenya Ave

On-On: Jalan Bahar Seafood,

 

Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula & Fawlties

O for the quiet of the virgin forest … the end of Chestnut Ave should be as far as you can get from the hustle & bustle of city traffic, but instead it was more like Orchard Road & Scotts. Seems it’s PUB & NP keeping the construction sector busy… and it made for a busy circle with constant interruptions for “Lorry-lorry…” Still it’s great hashing country and the hares took full advantage to give us a GOOD RUN, or even a VERY GOOD RUN, confirmed by GM Puck Smuggler when the traffic gave him a chance to shout. Hares in the circle confirmed Mr Hoe’s on-site on-on with free beers from Crossroads. “It’s a GREAT RUN!!”

 

Do we have a virgin? “Yes we do”, says stand-in GMs Prick Me. “it’s Rachel and she was made to come by PoKai. What did you think of the run? “It was … er… okay” Whether she would come again was left an open question but “She’s all right, she’s all right, a little …”

 

We had both Guests and Returnees, Girls: Louise, Mother’s Tongue, Reluctant to Come … Men: Chicken Dicken, PussUps, and Returnees: Little Willie & Tiger Lily. Here’s to the guests...”

 

Next Week’s Run is by Sperm off Ice and the GM, “it’s at … Bollocks, no sorry, Bulim Avenue”… ”Where the hell is that?” “Intersection of KPE & PIE…” “Can we get a better fix?” “Wait for the Newsletter…” On-On as Newsletter or Website p.1

 

Milestones: Comes Quietly is a bit overdue for his 500 Runs and the cries come “Off-off-off…”, when he duly obliges the shouts turn to “on-on-on!” “Why was he born so beautiful…”

 

Hare Whip Fawlty Towers gave the low-down on what it takes to get NP approval for a run in their territory, and what could happen if you break the rules… no chalk, no refreshments, fines of up to $50,000 or 6 months’ jail, and who takes the rap? Come in Cherry Picker…the RUN MASTER takes the punishment! “He ought to be publically…” A charge for the SCBs…for running 30m past the drink stop without seeing the sign, Running S#t and Coo Chi Coo. At this point Comes Quietly has noticed his new shirt is embroidered with, not 500, but 600 Runs! Does this make him the ultimate SCB?? “Here’s to the SCBs, they’re true blue…”

 

Mystery Whip In & Out says it’s bad news week for Britain, France win the World Cup, Trump insults HM The Queen by walking in front of her, and Elon Musk hasn’t got a good word either, so he can stuff his submarine. “They ought to be publically…”

 

But our beloved Straits Times didn’t find anything worth reporting in these breaches of etiquette, instead the big news was from a toilet manager at Marina Bay Sands. Some if his clients, it seems, have trouble with their aim, can’t hit the porcelain and leave the floor wet. “And what’s the problem, Ah Beng?” “It’s these Ang Mos, lah, they are too big-lah”. In & Out has devised a test to check if Ang Mos can pee straight and calls in Cherry Picker, Wee Willie & Coo Chi Coo to assist. Equipping each with a pee simulator in the form of a drinks bottle with perforated lid, he invites each to hit a target dipper. For control purposes he has different sizes of hole in the bottles to see if this is a factor. Each man has a different peeing technique, Cherry Picker shakes his bottle but Wee Willie keeps it still,Coo Chi Coo says “I know nothing about shaking my willy…” Alas, the tests are not conclusive as the testers keep having to move on for “Lorry lorry…” but the circle is too busy laughing to care… ”They ought to be publically pi55ed on…”

 

Prick of the Week is in Wimbledon this week, we hear, maybe has ambitions of trumping POTUS in crass behaviour? So we are on-on to TOTW, and Bibrator wants to call in her Durian kasih sayangs PoKai & Trolley Dolly. Seems they had a date to go shopping for durians but the sayangs were half an hour late. That wasn’t enough to deserve the hair shirt though, there was a more guilty party, namely 8.24 whose behaviour on the run earned him a “B-I-M-B-O…” Seems he had to crawl to get up the tower.

 

Puck Smuggler wanted to praise a caring hasher whose main concern atop the nice big tower was to look for possibly lost hashers…”Here’s to the Hero Mother…” Tiger Lily was the public spirited girl.

 

For Mystery Mystery Whip the circle was suddenly full of contenders but Astronut saw off the impostors, only to get shouted down by the circle…”For a change I started a bit late…” “Bullsh… Bullsh…” “But then I am such a fast runner…” “Bullsh… Bullsh…” Seems Astronut came across 3 ladies looking for the drinks stop, Awesome 4some, Smell Me & Spreads Wide. There was a hard luck story about having to swim up a canal climb up a waterfall, no paper, got lost etc etc…”Why were they born so beautiful…”

 

M2 Whip was driven by lack of hash deviant behaviour to fall back on the old standby, “On this day in history…” But he had a problem getting the date right… was it the 20th or 25th July? B-I-M-BO. Call in 8.24 as the silver-tongued lawyer who got a good deal for Cuba when the US resumed diplomatic relations. Call in Rooning Sh#t & Cherry Picker as Canadians short-cutting. Then, Bruce Lee died on this day in 1973, reputedly from a brain enema (sic) (or too many screwdrivers, said some wag), call in Strapless as his reincarnation. Strapless gets a D-D for being really, really dumb, mistaking a discarded tile for a trail marker.

 

Finally, the most memorable event of 20th July was in 1969 when man walked on the moon. Coo Chi Coo successfully names Buzz Aldrin as the 3rd Apollo crew member so finally Running S#t, Cherry Picker, 8.24, Strapless & Coo Chi Coo are in the circle together and it’s “Here’s to us, we’re true blue…”

 

Exit M2Whip, enter Awesome 4some with some AOB … four ladies were watching the World Cup Final together, and suddenly noticed Puck Smuggler running across the pitch. Seems PS has a Croatian double, and needless to say this news fills Mother’s Tongue with delight.

 

Next AOB from Stash who highlights confusion on the hash calling in Airborne for getting his nuts mixed up (Chestnuts & Cashews) and Blur like Sotong for wrong way up the tower.

 

Confusion grows as the beer loosens tongues but does not a lot for coherence. This problem is compounded by Corny Linguist whose charges, though welcome, are seldom intelligible and whose accent is often less so. He calls in Ayam Zinking who’s been offered a good job by a German company but worried about it (down girls, he’s just got married). Then he calls in the virgin Rachel who, he alleges, deceived him, by running first in front and then behind… but then “Here’s to virgins, they’re true blue…”

 

Final AOB from stand-in GMs Prick Me who wants to say “Thank you” to the concerned Singaporeans who look after us, making sure we stick to the rules and don’t fall into danger: Chicken S#t “Here’s to the caring, they’re true blue…”

 

Then it’s ON-ON-ON to Mr Hoe’s crackingly excellent crackling… or was it wobbore? And free beer… Very many thanks, hares & supporters.

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Run 1896
NP approved run

Run 1896 Run Report

20th July 2018 – The Only NP Approved Run

Run Site: End of Chestnut Ave

Hares: Fawlty Bush & Fawlty Towers

 

Run Scribe: Fawlty Towers       Photos: Fawlty T & B

It was right on 6pm, and the hashers were gathered and agitating to go, as our GM Puck Smuggler was sprinting down the road. The Fawlty hares set us off on a fully approved NParks run, into Chestnut Nature Park South, but paper took us left and into a less public trail, along the PUB

fenceline, and then along the edges of Upper Pierce reservoir.

 

The first check must have been a good 2+km into the run, so that took the wind out of the average hasher. It was a circle check, and the options were either to follow the reservoir, or head back inland. This was a pretty straightforward one for the experienced FRB’s, and after about a 1/2km further on inland trail, a T check was encountered. Bashing through the tall reeds then some shiggy, the entry trail was discovered, and the pack was off again.

 

A bit later, we transitioned left onto a bike track and emerged back on Chestnut Avenue, about 50m from the beer truck. The temptation was too much for a couple of Aussies, but the true blue followed the arrows left, out along Chestnut Avenue, under the BKE, only to encounter another T check. Of course it was on up into Zhenghua Nature Park.

 

The second of two circle checks along here was a challenge, with options to all points of the compass. Some ambitious soul found an arrow into a drain, then under steel rods, and down into the main drain. After passing under the BKE, the hashers were confronted with a three tiered ‘waterfall’, best tackled head on from the centre. They soon worked that out, and helping the ladies up, it was then along the fenceline, emerging at Cyathea Hut in Chestnut Nature Park North.

 

The trail then kind of followed the switch back bike trails and with a bit of cross country, emerged at the Observation Tower - just a few small steps to the drink stop with a view!

 

With a couple of screwdrivers under their belts, it was all downhill from here, past Piper Hut then

Costus Hut, all on legit NParks trail, emerging about 10m from the beer truck. FRB’s back in a bit over the hour, having done 6-7km, and fully deserving of a cold beer.

 

Thanks to those who helped with some sweeping en-route back from the drinks stop. The only thing left on the trail the next morn was a six foot snake, which literally stopped me in my tracks, and a few wild boar. An excellent part of SG for a run. On-on, FT and FB

 

 

Run 1896 pictures