MMW??? It’s Butt Wiper – We have all kinds of lazy hashers – those that turn up late, some not at all, and then there is Shiggy Piggy – he just skips the run and goes straight to the beer truck – he’s the meanest…. On in the hares – I’m amazed at how many trails there were tonight? People running everywhere. Was this German efficiency or a hash sh#t? They ought to be publicly….. But some people were still running fast and hard, even though there was no trail – on in Tiger Lily, Cereal Killer and Sperm On Ice. They came to the T check on the bike trail, then checked back up the hill through the bush, but couldn’t find trail, so then they went through the T check to check some more? Bimbo’s…. And Tiger Lily can stay in. She’s excellent at seeing trail, and set off up the hill, thru the T check, up the steps and then called a fake T check – she’s alright, she’s alright….
PML – and now, for something special, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Mystery, Mystery Whip??? Oh no says Circle Jerk, we only have 2 x 30L kegs. Ditch is in and says the beer tonight is just how he likes his women – warm and flat! He’s the meanest….. On in the GM – so persistent lah, every week sending messages, but tonight, he couldn’t even get to the hash on time. Seems he missed the ferry from Batam! He’s dumb, he’s dumb, he’s really….. Now it’s the financial mismanagement charge – It seems one of our hashers wants to give money to the Monday hash? Msg from hash cash – who the f is Mr. Peggy? On in Smells Me, and the Monday boys thank you for your contribution.
PoTW – Missing in action – stand by.
AoB? Circle Jerk calls in Mandy – where are you from? Long Island, but you live in Japan? Anyway, on the run tonight, andCircle Jerk and Mandy get a bit lost. Circle Jerk reassures Mandy in his calmest BBC voice – we’ll be alright, I’ll get you home. And Mandy pulls out her GPS, puts in some coordinates, and says, I’ll find my own way back. Now it seems Mandy, who doesn’t actually have a hash name, is a co-ordinator in the Navy. Perhaps we can make her part of the ‘Lips’ family? – Loose Lips Sink Ships – so how about Loose Lips? PML puts it to the members, and it’s unanimous. I have no choice now, she says – so on the flip flops. And by the power in(f)ested in me, you will for now and herein ever after be known as Loose Lips, and a hash sister to Tight Lips. Here’s toLoose Lips……
Handbag is in, noting it’s run number 1966, and what a great year that was – 1/ England won the world cup, 2/ It was the launch of Action Man and dolls for boys – on in Cereal Killer, and 3/ Coo Chi Coo for having visions of grandeur – complaining someone has been pinching his hash songs and his run sites? Which reminds Handbag of John Lennon’s famous statement in 1966 that, the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. They’re alright……
Astronut has a follow on charge – if England won the world cup in 1966, then how many have they won since? None, Zip, Zero – 3, 2, 1….
Bully tells us that some people are a bit short on funds, and so need to raise some revenue for the upkeep of their bungalow’s up on the hill, and charge $10 for parking – on in Coo Chi Coo and D.D.D.D….
Sperm On Ice has another follow on charge – it’s $10 parking for non residents only right? So how come No Good drove down the hill 100M and parked in the resident’s showering spot – CCC’s the meanest……
PML asks SOI to stay in – and now for a Chiang Mai story – we were on the ball breaker, and most clocked 25km, but Spermy, he got 28km on his GPS? Did he really do 3km of checking? And then today, we were lost in the jungle, and when we finally got out, Juicy Pussy says we have 7km to go! But Tiger Lily checks her GPS which was still set on Bukit Brown, and says its only 3km? And in Chiang Mai, Wonton was on the Monk’s trail, and just wanted to know – where’s the escalator? They’re dumb……
Corny Linquist is in, asserting the hash is getting a bit posh? All very nice, upper middle class people, and yet all you bstds drove past me on the way up the hill! But then at the end, it was starting to look good again, when I was offered showering water – but it was straight from the ice box. I’m not a public school boy and not used to that kind of punishment! – He’s a wimp, and also he’s the meanest….
And now it’s time for a Chiang Mai hash shirt group pic. And as the scribe joins in, Astronut resumes his rightful place in the arm chair, and writes: “AND THEN THE CIRCLE ENDED!”
And so at 8:45pm, with two barrels down, it was definitely time for on on on. And take the visitors to Buona Vista Kitchen, not to Coo Chi Coo’s place. Well done GM’s and to the multiple Mystery Whips, and even Ayam Zinking’s run looks good after all those beers. On on on
Hares: Ayam Zinking, Alicia
On-on: Buona Vista Kitchen
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 43 of which 34 Members (16F, 18M)
Virgins: Not near Coo Chi Coo’s place
Guests & Returnees: Cereal Killer, Dirty Groper, Mandy, Sperm Off Ice, Slippery When Wet, Sour Kraut, Tiger Lily, Alicia and Every Body’s Ports
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
Welcome to run #1966 – its Chastity Belt and guest stand in - Pucks Me Lately running the show tonight. Gather round this spot where Bully spread his wild oats – oh thank God, it’s just the saw dust. On in the hares Mr. and Mrs. Ayam Zinking – they’ve got a lot to answer for. Chastity Belt – this was a run of two parts – 1st part on trail, then everyone off trail. Up, down and all over the place. Did anyone actually do the whole run enquires Pucks Me Lately? No one? Then is it a hash sh#t? But it seems the saving grace was lots of water melon at the end, so good run it is – Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue……
Tell us about your on on? It’s at Buona Vista Kitchen, as Ayam Zinking tries to count and do the arithmetic at the same time – stuff it, it’s near enough to 3 tables.
Next week’s run? Since Voting B* is in Shenzen, Chastity Belt makes the announcement. It’s the Thanksgiving run, Durian Stall car park, with Mr. Hoe’s fabulous roast turkey (chicken?) on on!
Guests and Returnees? Yes we have lots: Cereal Killer, Dirty Groper, just Mandy from Japan, Sperm On Ice, Slippery When Wet (Bangkok), Sour Kraut (Ayam Zinking’slong lost relative?), Tiger Lily, Alicia and Every Body’s Ports from the US Navy. Here’s to our visitors, they’re true blue…….
PML (is she really a Lady Boy, or did she just borrow his Chiang Mai hash shirt?) to CB – so, what’s the order again? B.I.M.B.O…… And then the over confident CB proclaims, and now it’s time for the Mystery Whip? Huh – also B.I.M.B.O….. Ok, let’s start with the Hare Whip?
On in Ayam Zinking, with Corny Linquist trying to translate – but that doesn’t help at all. Ayam Zinking then grumbles about sh#tty LCH3 hashers that can follow perfectly good German trail – off to the Scheiße Haus for all of you! And then he brings in his long lost cousin – also Sour Kraut, who has apparently come to SG for a break, but has just been complaining about how expensive it is here – Why was he born so….. Then Ayam Zinking calls in PML in her stylish Chiang Mai hash shirt, but it says Lady Boy on the back? PML toAyam Zinking – you’re not looking at the right thing??? It’s actually Lady Boy Latoi – B.I.M.B.O…… And Chastity Belt is completely lost – why is everyone wearing jackets?
Mystery Whip??? Strapless is in – Sawadee krap – this means I am trying to be friendly (Bully – what was her name?). What Strapless was trying to say was that the Thai’s in Chiang Mai treated the Singaporeans very well. They set very good runs, including an A to B run, so the ladies decided they should practice on their GPS. Walking the full 2 minutes from the 4.5 star Le Meridien to the 3.9 star hash hotel – the Duangtawan (already abbreviated by the Singaporean’s to the DTW), the conversation went like this: Wonton, it says next turn is 40M, Chicken Sh#t – we have to turn left, Pokai – no we have to turn right?Strapless, looking straight ahead – there it is! They ought to be publicly…. And on the last day, it’s Singaporean tradition to go shopping – cheap, cheap, cheap. And after hours walking the markets, Wide Spread hands Strapless her heavily laden bag – here, pls hold this for a while, whilst I attend to some urgent personal business! 3mins, 5,6,7,8….20mins later, she finally re-appears – seems she lost her way back despite having a GPS – here’s to the blur one, she’s true blue….