Circle Report- Run 1851

Another Fawlty Run

Date: Friday 15th Sept 2017

Run Site: End of Chestnut Avenue

On-on: On-site – Mr. Hoe

Hares: Fawlty Towers & Fawlty Bush


Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 48, of which 38 Members (F 17 & M 21)

Virgins:                                       2-

Visitors & Returnees:                 10 (4F, 6 M)

New Member:                            Little Prick – waiting only to join

Milestings                                   Dave: 20 Little Prick: less

Next Week’s Hares:                    Cunni Lick Her

Run Site: Top of Bukit Merah Central Multi Storey Car Park

On-On:   Coffee Shop across the road


Circle Scribe: Airborne                  Photos: Goody Bag

The waterworks end of Chestnut Avenue is about as remote as you can get in our city state, but it was a busy as Orchard Road this Friday evening. The first challenge for GM & GMs at 8.00 was to locate the circle without risk of being flattened by cement trucks, This was only partly successful but still subject to a lot of “Lorry, Lorry!” Then, before we could get into the run verdict, we had to hear GMs’ auto-charge herself for leaving behind tonight’s wine supply in the taxi. The return fare from Changi Airport made it a rather expensive vintage. “… She may be a joy to her mother…” Finally, calling in the Hares Fawlty Towers & Bush, “what did you think of the run?” “too much shiggy, not enough paper…” i.e. par for the course, but recognising the investment of time, effort and overcoming bureaucracy, the Circle had to admit it was, actually as such, a GOOD RUN. “Where’s your On-on?” – “Right here – and only $12 a head.”


Virgins: just one, Cherry Stalk, who came by herself…(next time we hope it’s in company – Scribe) “She’s all right’’’”
Guests & Returnees: were out in force, nice to see you all.

Girls: After Hours, Bubbles, Forever Blowing, Gemmie, Marla, Suction Cup, Tiger Lily.

Men: Cunning Linquist, Dave, DIY, Herr Linquist, Sampson Letoi, Sperm off Ice, Spank Me, Stephen, T Trolley Dolly, Windy Bar.


Next Week’s Run:  announced by Voting Bitch: starts from a good height – Bukit Merah Central, top of the Multi-Storey Car Park (Singapore’s first) at Block 119. The Hare Cunni Lick Her was too shy to appear, but we hear he’s fixed the on-on at the Coffee Shop opposite.


Hare Whip: Fawlty Towers did not break with tradition, called in his co-hare who doubled as Sweeper. Fawlty Bush apparently had a touch of spatial agnosia and went off in the wrong direction on the Drongo Trail. She didn’t find any paper because it was supposed to be right not left. “Drongo” is Oz slang for a complete idiot.


GMs called back the Hare to recall that getting with N Parks for approval was not easy. 3 maps and two versions of the form had to be submitted, and the final OK only arrived at 9pm the evening before. “They’re the meanest…” Unfortunately it looks like this is a foretaste of hashing to come.

And whilst she had everyone’s attention, Voting Bitch reminded the Circle about the 35th Anniversary celebrations and asked for commitments to the run and Dinner & Dance, see the front page. Also the First Aid course … which will include treatment for bee stings… see notice above, and let’s hear from some more attendees!


Mystery Whip: 8.24 had Ayam Zinking in his sights, along with a Porsche and three attractive YLs. This hasher made a great play of posing whist showering etc but failed to elicit attention. Next he tried making up to the Porsche (not his – Astronut’s) but it seems the YLs were aloof. In desperation, finally he tried stripping off but Beer Bitch, Smells Dirty and one guest friend failed to admire this fine specimen of German quality. “Here’s to posers, they’re true blue…”

Next 8.24 recruits Pool Toy to torment AZ, who’s one of the bee sting victims and taken a hit in a private place. PT has been playing paramedic to the other sting victims and AZ seeks his advice. “Not sure what I can do about this… you need to get someone to suck out the venom” AZ asks “What happens if I can’t?” “You’re gonna die…” says Pool Toy...”He’s the meanest…”


POTW: still MIA, not clear who’s responsible. But we hope they’re enjoying it ??

TOTW:  Voting Bitch informs us that Roo Rooter wears it every day in Boston…”Bullshit, bullshit, ….” meantime the latest Trump fart aka Twitter post is against the US Coast Guard, which according to POTUS used to be no good, but suddenly is doing great work in hurricane relief.


GMs: Public Service Announcement reprise: Brother Ditch will pass among you with the signing in sheet for the Big Event.


Mystery2 Whip: Puck Smuggler doing another D-I-Y show, called in HooRay allegedly with a movie theme (“Good charge!” from the Circle). PS  had 3 questions:“Are you a biker?” “Do you wear biker shorts?” “Do you enjoy cruel punshments?” There was a reference to a Richard Simons which was lost on Scribe but apparently HooRay’s garb was a look-alike. “Here’s to biker sadists, they’re true blue…” Next in the stocks was Coo Chi Coo whose first question was “Why am I here?” If the question was answered Scribe failed to hear anything except “Here’s to CCC he’s true blue…” And then in comes Sperm off Ice also looking puzzled but anyway “Great  Hash, having a great time…” This time he’s not arrived on an O-Bike (“Too Heavy”) “Here’s to PW, he’s true blue…” Finally for Mystery2 Whip it’s Goody Bag, apparently having difficulty finding somewhere private to change, re-parking her car several times. Unexpected support came from Corny Linguist who was similarly inconvenienced along with Shipyard Flasher and intellectualized something about cultural separation (sometimes I wish he would speak English – Scribe) “Here’s to hash flashers, they’re true blue…”


Which talk of problems changing, which had a lot to do with the constant flow of traffic, and particularly little trucks full of construction workers going on & off shift, prompted some…


AOBfrom Voting Bitch. Her victim was Eleven, that classic example of feminine pulchritude, for apparently not helping VB who was towel-less, defend her chastity from prying eyes. (Not only the wine left behind? Good grief what kind of hitch hiker doesn’t know where her towel is? – Scribe).

More AOB from GMs VB, now it’s Pool Toy in the target zone. Seems he was running an ambulance service, Guest Dave having taken 20 hits from the angry bees, needed to be CASEVAC’d home in PT’s  car. He also helped another victim with fewer stings (though in more painful areas) who it turns out comes from Austria. Called in, the unfortunate had more to suffer. With the usual Hash sado-masochism it wasn’t long before we were hearing suggestions for a new hash name – “Here’s to the whiners of Vienna…” but finally he was formally awarded the dignity and title of “Little Prick


AOB  from Circle Jerk calling in Fawlty Towers, Fawlty Bush and Cumpuss. “Are you generous?” he asked FT. Before FT could answer CJ told a long story about the trail layers out in the bush using smartphones to find their way around, but FT apparently reluctant to put paper down… so the real trail layer was Fawlty Bush. “He’s the meanest…”


AOB  from Trolley Dolly  - welcome back! “I’ve been away a year, glad to join the Hash again, but it seems like you’re not passing hash skills to the newer runners… I heard no calling, so I had to explain the idea…” ”Here’s to T Dolly, he’s true blue…” Next TD noticed it’s Hungry Ghost time here in Singapore, but the roadside offerings do not include any liquid refreshment. Are the ghosts not thirsty? Or is it an extrapolation of old age … He called in Airborne and Astronut for support, as members of the mature generation. “We can’t play “higher and higher” any more, in fact it’s hard to point percy at the porcelain…know what I mean?” Well, yes we know but we don’t talk about it …”They’re All Right, …a teeny weeny willy but they’re all right…”


And on which note it was ON-ON-ON…to our long-time, long staying & durable friend Mr Ho.


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Run 1851
The Fawlty run

Run 1851: Another Fawlty Run

Date: Friday 15th Sept 2017

Run Site: End of Chestnut Avenue

Hares: Fawlty Towers & Fawlty Bush


Run Scribe & Map: Fawlty Towers                   Photos: Goody Bag


On-on was called at 6:01, and the pack was sent off North along the PUB fence line. Was this part of the approved NParks designated trail? Apparently not as a T check was encountered by the over zealous but the pack found trail West into the shiggy, down a steep embankment and through the creek. This was where some unfortunate hashers encountered angry bees (one poor guy stung 20 times).


But the pack was long gone, and had turned right on a legitimate trail, and after a brief sprint came across a washed out circle check. This check took some breaking with on-on called back towards Chestnut Ave up the bike path (too good just for bikers).


There was a chalk circle check near the car park, which sent hashers in all directions (some heading back to the beer truck), but Juicy Pussy took off out Chestnut Avenue and called on-on 150M+ down the track. On down and under the BKE then a sharp right up, north into Zhenghua Nature Park. Burning off excess energy it was a fast pace toward Bukit Panjang and a circle check near the HDB's. Many went right down the pipeline, but eventually Trolly Dolly found markings back left and into the Bukit Panjang Neighbourhood 2 Park. Up the steps to the top of the hill then down to Petir Road, over Chestnut and another circle check in the middle of nowhere. Many checked back along the fence and drain, but eventually trail was found by 8:24, across the road past the bus stop, and onto the grass going south. We then headed west on what was becoming a fairly obvious counter clockwise loop, toward Zhenghua Nature Park, but not b4 some real shiggy bashing, eventually emerging on the pipeline and further south to find a circle under Dairy Farm Rd. The pack split 4 ways, and even Tiger Lily couldn't find trail.


 Ayam Zinking, after some guidance, belatedly entered the drain toward the BKE and called “on on”. Up the sawn off ladder steps into another drain then up and out to the BKE service road. Down under the BKE, then North along the BKE, and right up a steep incline into Chestnut Nature Park and right (yes sweepers, right not left!) onto the Drongo trail.  


A looping U turn onto Murnia trail and some thought this was the home trail, only to find another T check. On-on was called east along the gas pipeline, leading us down to the reservoir, covered in mist. Some excellent Chestnut trail along the banks of the reservoir, then back inland, eventually coming out onto Murnia trail and back to the run site at 7pm, after about 7km.


Thanks to the sweepers - Circle Jerk, Fawlty Bush and Cumpuss, who came back at 7:40pm in pitch darkness - great job. And also to our GM Voting Bitch, for persevering with the NParks Mandarins and finally getting approval at 8pm on Thursday evening - well done GMs, The F-Me shoes did it!

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