Run #1921 Circle Report
Friday, 11 Jan 2019
Run Site: Punggol Point Road car park (on the right)
Hares: Fawlty Towers, Fawlty Bush
Attendees: 47 of which
1) Members: 41 (22 M, 19 F)
2) Returnees: 2
3) Guests: 4
Next Week’s Run: Springleaf Avenue (beside the playground) set by Roo Rooter and Cherry Picker with OnOn at Sher Restaurant (Indian food) at the corner of Mandai Road & Sembawang Road.
What happened to Punggol Road? Access to Punggol Point was made difficult with the recent and unexpected closure of the road at the “kink” near the Chinese temple. For the uninformed, and those who don’t bother to use their GPS because “I know the way there already” (me included), substantial backtracking and a detour via Sumang Link, Punggol Way, etc. was required to reach the run site.
Both GMs (Puck Smuggler and Puck Me Lately), gracing us with their presence for the second run of the new year, welcomed the assembled pack of 40+ and asked for virgins and/or guests to step forward. Four guests were welcomed (names later) and the pack was encouraged to “take care of them”. The run commenced on time at 6pm with markings in the usual toilet paper…. Duration was just short of 10km with a good length of Coney Island being used.
Circle (commenced around 8:10):
Through the fog of Christmas and New Year celebrations, guest scribe Astronut had forgotten he had agreed to be scribe this week so, apart from a chair, he came unprepared. Thankfully Count Dracula came to the rescue providing paper, pen, clipboard and headlamp! Cheers, CD – now I have no excuse to not do the job!
First order of business was for the GMs to call in the hares Fawlty Bush & Fawlty Towers and ask the pack what they thought of the run. “Too short!” “Too much beach” “Too much forrest!” “Too much Coney Island!” etc. The GMs determined that meant it was a Good Run. For their efforts they were given a drink; and somehow all the like-dressed present (those wearing Malaysian shirts) were invited into the circle to share a down-down (DD).
Guests were then invited in. Only the 2 males guests Greg and Beng Cook (John from Bangkok via other hashes) made it to the circle. The 2 ladies, Dumpling and Lethal Weapon, were absent or too shy to enter. There was a short interruption for a DD when our Grand Mistress was called a bimbo for asking Greg, who had a hashname he didn’t want to reveal, if he was a virgin. Returnees were invited to join them: Wet Landing and Spreads Easily (the latter gone already). Welcome and come again. Now drink it DD.
A bit of confusion ensued as it appeared we had 2 new (returning) members: Four Sores and Croc ‘o Shit allegedly re-joined tonight.PoKai accused Four Sores of saying “he comes so often” he might as well re-join but would it be possible to get a discount and/or refund on his guest fee payment, queried why he had to make a deposit when he didn’t before…”He’s the meanest, he su…..” DD. Croc ‘o Shit was oblivious to this and was happy to have a DD.
Hare Whip: Fawlty Towers
1) Fawlty Towers (FT) informed us (the run had been set by the hares in reverse and that) we nearly didn’t have a run as they were confronted by the Police while accessing/exiting Coney Island (where it is forbidden to go off trail, lay markings, etc.) but were ‘saved’ by a monkey who attacked them and stole (some of) their provisions (water, toilet paper, flour, chalk, etc.) while they were ‘talking’ to the Police. The latter took pity on them and ‘gave them a break’ from prosecution. Thanks to the Police and the monkey!
2) FT then asked if anyone had seen the brahman cow which has been roaming Coney Island for the last 10 or so years. Nobody had seen it. FT posited if the brahman cow had the cowbell Puck Me Lately had been awarded in Taiping it would be easy to know where it was! Ding Dong! PML was then paraded around the circle wearing the cowbell and was informed “She’s alright, she’s alright, she’s a little…” DD.
3) FT then informed the pack that the lone T-check on Coney Island was at a shack built in the 1930s which was also the site of Astronut’s first date with Poser. He lured her there with the question “Would you like to come to my beach house?”Astronut’s “the meanest…” DD to A and P.
Mystery Whip: Tight Lips
1) “The run was a bit long but the FRBs didn’t help” by not indicating the direction of the trail after they’d broken the checks! “Could I have the FRBs in, please.” No, not you Croc o’ Shit! Puck Smuggler, Butt Wiper, Suction Cup, Samson Letoi take a DD each. They’re the meanest…
2) Strapless was requested to enter the circle for being 99% of the time…. off trail, or running the reverse according to him! “He ought to be bloody well shot…” DD
3) Next, Smell Me, Running Shit, and Croc o’ Shit were called in to explain what they were doing at the hash because it did not appear they were here for running. Smell Me arrived in golf shoes (having forgotten her runners) and eventually borrowed a pair from PoKai, Running Shit appeared to be powerwalking, and CoS was doing push ups! He claimed he was doing cross-fit exercises so he could get shit fit. Here’s to the athletes, they’re true blue…” DD
Puck Smuggler (PS) announced it was good to have candidates coming forward for the next committee. Two were already practicing for their new positions. At 5:58 Wonton exhorted PS to call the circle to start the run “on time”. Whereas after the run, at 7:50, Sooch suggested to PS to get the circle going so things could be “on time”. “Here’s to the ‘on time’ next GM candidates, they’re true blue…” DD
CJ marched into the circle announcing “The world is falling apart after one week!” Wait a minute proclaimed the circle, “Where’s the prick?” “It’s in a special location” he responded. “Up your bum?” some wisecrack queried.
CJ: “Let me carry on. I need some representative for world leaders in to account for things”
1) Look-a-like for Theresa May -- Trolley Dolly because he likes wearing dresses
2) Look-a-like for Donald Trump – Stash because he’s American and has as much hair as Trump
3) Look-a-like for Xi Jinping – Strapless because he’s Chinese and imperious
4) Look-a-like for Mr. Lee – Four Sores because he’s Chinese and ‘handsome’
Let circle democracy work to see who deserves the prick. And the winner by popular vote is Stash! Now, all of you – DD
Puck Smuggler to Puck Me Lately “What time is it?” Looking at her crotch see says “Is it that time?” “Now it’s time for the …..”
Mystery Mystery Whip: No Good
1) No Good’s first charge was a grouse to the hares, Fawlty Towers and Fawlty Bush, for choosing a run site “so far from my home, making me late” and with “no parking places, that I don’t have to pay for”. “They’re alright, they’re alright, he’s got a teeny weeny wi…” DD
2) Keeping with the grousing theme the GM, Puck Smuggler, is called in for “appointing me so late last night that I didn’t have time to prepare ” He’s alright, he’s alright…” DD
3) No Good was grateful for the drink stop but was appalled byIn & Out’s (stand-in Circle Jerk) apparent pleasure when informed (wrongly/mischieviously?) by Fawlty Bush that it contained her saliva! “Here’s to the disgusting ones…” DD
Any Other Business:
1) Handbag (Alan) to committee for planning to change LCH3 run day from Friday to Tuesday. The forward hareline, after 12 April, listed Tuesdays as our running day. “Who’s the nearly 80 year old bimbo who did this? Airborne!” (Astronut stand-in) DD
2) Coo Chi Coo to Handbag for noticing the above! DD
3) Smell Me to PoKai for coming to the run but not running (‘coz she gave her shoes to Smell Me). Think the DD should have been the other way round!
4) Puck Me Lately to Blur Like Sotong, Suction Cup andPuck Smuggler for something they did/didn’t do on the run…?! DD
5) Strapless to PML for saying “I almost died on the run tonight” DD
6) Lastly, Circle Jerk to Four Sores, representing Raffles, to thank him for founding Singapore 200 years ago! DD
Charges were getting a bit thin so it was time to call “OnOnOn!” Around 8:50.
Run #1921 Run Report
Friday, 11 Jan 2019
Run Site: Punggol Point Road car park (on the right)
Hares: Fawlty Towers, Fawlty Bush
By Fawlty Towers
It seems that Coney Island is the Tasmania of Singapore. Pristine national park, great beaches, lightly populated, but miles away from civilization, so most people know about it, but rarely go. And so it was that 41 members and 6 visitors made the trek up North (a massive 23km from the CBD) to find out about this strange place. Having established that the re-aligned Punggol road is nothing like their childhood memories, and jockeyed for a spot in the free car park – such a rarity in SG, most of the hashers were almost ready by the usual 6pm.
As the pack set off in a N/E direction, Strapless immediately suspected something was up, and so headed West, only to be a short lived FRB as the pack took in the views above the jetty then set out for Coney Island. Upon reaching the site of the drinks stop (yet to be set up), there was nothing to do but check back from the T to the East entrance and then head towards Malaysia.
But another T ensured there was no escalation of the current tensions, and the pack trundled east down the main centre pathway toward beach access B. At this point the entire pack departed from the fully Nparks approved course and inexplicably went straight past a Do not Enter sign, along a raised, curvey , meandering pathway to the original Haw Par Villa, built in 1937 by Astronut?
As the FRB’s made their way around to the back door, they found the third T check. And so is was a long haul back out to the approved pathway, and down to the beach after a bit of real shiggy. The run proceeded from the beach back into shiggy, and with the elusive Brahman cow still unsighted, it was across the concrete steps, then on pathways around to the exit at the Western end of the island, (where Fawlty Bush had her close encounter with a monkey on setting the run).
Past the reservoir entrance to a circle check, then South for a bit before re-entering shiggy and then gravel tracks. Another circle with lots of options, but having done 5km already, the smart hashers soon worked out it was a clockwise loop and found paper down the fence line and then across the PUB parkland and on to Lorong Halus bridge, finally headed in the direction of Punggol Point.
Turning right over the bridge, and then taking the curvey bridge over the canal, there was a pretty straightforward circle that even a stuffed FRB would quickly get. Along the path between the canal and HDB’s then 90 degree’s to the right along a feeder canal only to find another bloody circle. Up and over the grassy embankment heading roughly East and back on trail across the grassland that will soon become the next HDB in Punggol. And to the dismay of Trolly Dolly, yet another Circle check in the middle of the paddock?
And so it had to be back into the shiggy as darkness arrived, bashing along some wild boar tracks, and finally coming out on the pathway opposite Coney Island, and within gasping distance of a very well deserved drink stop for a ‘Dark n Stormy’.
Refreshed and recharged, it was a quick dash along the breezeway back to the carpark at Punggol Point Road. I guess the FRB’s came in around 7:15 or so, (I was still sweeping and being chased off Coney Island at that time). All’s well that ends well, and so with almost everybody back by 7:30, and no one interned on Coney Island, the hares could relax.
Although the only Tasmanian in Punggol – Comes Quietly, got to the run site, realizing he only had flip flops to contend with the shiggy, decided to drive home and got back to start after 6:30pm, and somehow found his way in the dark, and just back in time for the circle at 8pm – well done.
Most runners seemed to clock up between 9-10km, so a good work out, and some very well deserved circle beers for all.