And now it’s time for the Mystery Whip – Calling in grandfathers – GM and 8:24, Wonton relayed an article, where the US Embassy in the UK had questioned a 3mth old baby as a potential terrorist. Apparently the grandfather has mistakenly ticked yes to the terrorist question for the visa application. Why were they born so…..


After many long years of marriage bliss, Wonton thought she had married the most smart and intelligent man – until a month ago. As Wonton was flying in from HK, Stash took the car key to BKK. Then last weekend, Stash was making plans to head back to BKK. Meanwhile, Wonton was enjoying a Westin champagne brunch at Sentosa Cove. But before heading out for the boozy affair, had ‘reminded’ Stash not to take the bloody car key to the Royal Kingdom again. So, being a good hasher, and knowing the value of a good recce, Stash decided to do a little test run, and pop the car key under the front door, to see if it would fit. Only problem was, he did it from outside, and the house key was attached to the car key. And a side splittingB.I.M.B.O. was sung by all


Stick Her Shock wasn’t done, and referring to the current transition in the US, explained how All Asshorn has recently returned to his mother hash. His fellow US pack had trouble with his hash name, and so took it upon themselves to rename him Pool Toy. And with the power not infested in her, SHS tried in vain to transition and rename AAS as Pool Toy


8:29 was apparently time for the MMW and Coo Chi Coo’s four female charge. First it was Wonton for never thanking him for introducing her to the key Stasher. Next was Bibrator for wearing the appropriately positioned ‘Cross Fit’ t shirt. Then SHS, caught out by the ever vigilant CCC in the re-enacted bent over position. And finally, Tight Grip, who had slipped on a down slope, landing on all fours, and screaming out Faarrrk, not realizing CCC was right behind, checking if he was in the all clear. Down, down, down, down


TOTW – Back in Stash for the handoff. And what a week it’s been. We’ve had the Moucha from New York with his expletive laden barrage, and the Don’s twitter transgender ban – apparently due to cost. But it seems, Mara Lago cost more. And the US military spend on Viagra was a pole topping $84M. But in a post run discussion, Ditch had accused his countrymen they were talking way too much US politics. So 8:24’s response was to admire the Flare Stack in the distance. That was more than enough of a connection, and the TOTW now has a new custodian. He’s the meanest…..


AOB? Oh yes. On in, In n Out. Did the gentlemen notice a lady holding a puppy close to her breast? Of course they did – and all shout for Bibrator to come in. CCC, get off your all fours and stopping pretending to be a puppy. Here’s to the puppy teaser, she’s true blue….


Then our hash brew - Suzee Wong steps in. A wallet had been found near the beer truck. SW to visitor Simin – did you lose a wallet – oh no. SW, I think you should check. Oh yes that’s mine. B.I.M.B.O. It’s ok, we’ll welcome you back


And stay in Simin, it’s Pokai time. So, it seems on Simin’s first run, she was 30mins late, and Puk Smuggler did the right thing and stayed back and helped her around. But today Simin was 35mins late, and turned up in a bikini top. PS has nowbeen instructed by Pokai to make Simin come on time. She’s the meanest, she……


Stash is back in, reminding us we have some famous (Hooray) short cutters amongst us. But there is a new contender, with Strapless calling ‘Are You?’, whilst on a short cut. Here’s to Hooray 2, he’s true blue…….


And with that, it was a rush for the ham and beer, and on on on

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Back to History...
Run 1844
All A* ham run

Circle Report- Run 1844

Big A* Ham Run

Date: Friday 28th July 2017

Run Site: 247 Montreal Road, Sembawang

On-on: On site

Hares: Stick Her Shock and All Asshorn (or is it now Pool Toy?)


Total Run/ Circle Attendance:             44, of which 41 Members ( 20 F, 21 M)

Virgins:                                               Not in Sembawang tonight

Visitors & Returnees:                          3 (2 F, 1 M)

New Member:                                      Maybe next time

Milestones                                          Anthony Scaramucci – for providing endless material

Next Week’s Hares:                              All the Singaporeans

Run Site:                                             Bukit Merah Central 119, Top of Multi Storey carpark (Follow Pokai’s very clear instructions, or enjoy a down down). And remember to wear red and white

On-On:                                                Coffee shop across the street


Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers,   Photos: PoKai & Friends

The GM’s called the pre loaded crowd together at 8:04pm on the front lawn of the B&W. And what did we think of the big ass’d ham run? Not enough of everything, but the drinks stop and the promised ham were more than enough for a very good run. Stick Her Shock and All Asshorn, were joined by8:24 (for the absent Cherry Picker?) but the interloper was exited and it was ‘here’s to the real hares’ they’re true blue…”.  And tell us about your onon? It’s right here - $10 in the pot get’s you ham, turkey, cherry pie and loads of excellent beer. Great job hares.


And now it’s time for next week’s run?

Step in Pokai – and in her most perfectly correct English – Bukit (pause) Merah (pause) Central (long pause) 119, Multi Story carpark, beside the bus interchange. And just in case we didn’t get it, she repeated it twice more (thanks Pokia, I went to the wrong 119 last time also). It’s the National Day run, so wear your red n white. Hares – all the Singaporeans – trust me, I’m a local.


Voting Bitch and Puk Smuggler called in the guests. On in Bumper Humber (all the way from Denver) – and who made you come? The internet. Someone please tell him porn is banned in Singapore. And two of Singapore’s finest – Pink Fanny and the yet to be named Simin. Here’s to the guests…..


GM’s now call the hares back in for some good old fashioned whipping. And there’s no holding back Stick Her Shock. All Asshorn is lambasted as a lazy S of a B. He apparently didn’t give a rat’s about the run, but was more interested in the ham. So SHS turned to the trusted Cherry Picker for advice. He told the story as relayed by the dearly departed Cock Radio, of the great shiggy in the Sembawang live firing range. So our adventurous hare went out on Tuesday, and disappeared into the woods. And then the ham man started to receive the first of many texts. Quoting from his not so smart phone, AAS relayed from SHS - “We have to do it every day”.  “I keep getting turnaround from the SG army”. Undeterred,SHS crouching behind bushes, thought she would wait it out till 4pm. AAS reads the next text “gunshots” “phone almost dead”. And the caring and empathetic AAS replied “Now you’re getting stupid”. “Stop being a moron”. And then there was radio silence. So a full 2hrs later, AAS, satisfied his ham was now under control, set out on a recovery mission. But it seems SHS had found a way to stop the turnarounds, and messaged AAS she had chest bumped a Singapore soldier. However on finding the errant hare, AAS pointed out, that if she was hoping to wait out the soldiers, she may be there a while. They had started their gen set and were setting up camp for the night. A point of order from Roo Rooter that in fact 8:24 was the rescue hero, didn’t get in the way of a good story and a rousing down down for the intrepid hares