CB – and now, its time, for, the, Mystery, Whip? After a brief interlude, it’s Butt Wiper, claiming to be MW2, but since MW1 is MIA, he’s whipping them all. Imitating one of our esteemed hashers on trail – where’s my wife, where’s my wife? But Ditch wasn’t really concerned about Sweet Thigh’s wellbeing, he was just avoiding running out the checks! He ought to be publicly…. Next it’s the dysfunctional threesome, making Pokai carry all the paper – and then screwing up the paper into little balls - prompting Butt Wiper to bust into song to chastise the co-hares – Hitler, has only got one ball. And tonight, Butt Wiper is feeling sorry for a LCH3 hasher, claiming to have seen a wallowing walrus struggle up the final hill, looking as if he was crying - but it was just an emotional Circle Jerk – he’s alright, he’s alright…. And on the long run, BW thought he heard strange monkey noises – squeaking and grunting. Next a laughingJuicy Pussy comes crashing through, looking very guilty for having had a quickie with her long lost primate relative. Beastiality’s best boys….. Next it’s Coo Chi Coo for pretending to be a Chinaman and rolling his singlet up to his chest on the run – he ought to be publicly….. And not forgetting the late comer – Paddy no show, but he still managed to be a FRB, so let’s make SoI drink out of his own sperm donation cup – here’s to Spermy he’s true blue….. Who is the youngest on the hash? Not Strapless, definitely not CCC, but the youngest looking – Blur Like Sotong, was caught shortcutting, claiming – ahh, so tired lah, so here’s to Whimpy he’s true blue….. And forgetting how many charges a MW should do, BW has an Alzheimer’s moment. Sometimes it’s good to forget, sometimes it’s sh#t, especially when you walk all the way down the hill, forget your keys, and and have to slog back up again. But at least it’s good for Saliva’s fitness…..
And finally, BW runs out of charges, so Chastity Belt calls him back in for being MW 1, 2 and 3 – He’s alright…..
Voting B#tch is back, and she’s being the fashion police tonight. The f-me shoes have gone, and been replaced by the don’t f-me flip flops. And 8:24 quips - their the birth control shoes, so he gets a down down for wearing a muscle shirt with only one arm rolled up. But the real recipient is Strapless, who last week wore a splendid pink Spanish hash shirt, but tonight disguised himself as jungle with a green t-shirt – drink it D.D.D.D…..
PoTW? No Pr#ck? Ok let’s light the cakes for the b’day hares who’ll be buying the beer later – Comes Quietly and Pokai – hashy b’day f you….
AoB? In n Out is in, claiming the hash has become a bit less friendly, thus allowing him to charge CJ, who after showering, struggled to get his new shirt on (it must be the humidity), and then there isIn n Out himself, who grew a beard over the past three months. But it became a bit too itchy, so it had to go, and out comes the cut throat, but he decided to leave the Mo on. And upon walking out of the bathroom this morning, Suzy Wong says – you look like a 60’s porn star! But Chastity Belt calls for a vote, does the ‘tash’ stay or go? It’s a gonner, so here’s to the wanna be porn star, he’s true blue…..
VB calls in all the fathers (those that know at least), as it’s fathers day tomorrow. But they are out numbered by the Grandad’s. Here’s to the sugar daddies, they’re true blue…. And then VB suggests some of us are responsible, and some less so? On in SoI, for somehow being responsible for VB getting foamy squirts by eating the b’day cake????
Pokai calls in Pink Fanny and No Good, for a fan size comparison – who the f are you blowing? Here’s to the hot fanny’s, they’re true blue…..
Ditch is in – I get charged for waiting for my beloved, becoz a bloody Monday hasher forgot where the trail went. Let’s have a Rooning Sh#t look alike for being a Bimbo….
Pokai gets a quickie in for the Kampong hash at The Boxers place – (and what a great run and on on bbq that was)
And so at 8:39pm, the Red Lantern beckons, and it’s on on on. Well done GM’s, and that really was a cracking run by the hares – and great training for Bukit Gombak next week.
Hares: Bibrator, Comes Quietly and Pokai
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 44, of which 40 Members (20F, 20M)
Virgins: not in NParks
Guests: Lethal Weapon, Joon, Pink Fanny and Sperm Off Ice
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8:01 and Chastity Belt is making a commendable effort to get the strung out crowd in, but stand in Grand Mattress Voting B#tch puts her renowned lungs to good use, and we have a circle at last. Let’s get the hares in – Comes Quietly, Bibrator and Pokai for the verdict, and WDWTOTRun? Not long enough, too much concrete, a bit trippy….., but CB declares it a good, good run, so here’s to the hares’, they’re true blue…. Tell us about your on on? Bibrator – its $12, 8 courses including pepper crab, but it’s not my birthday so I’m not buying the beer!
Next weeks hares? No one owns up so Pokai chips in – it’s Smells Me she exclaims! But those astute LCH3 observers of the hare line immediately inform us Smells Me is in fact the week after, and so Pokai gets the first of many – B.I.M.B.O’s…. Actually, it’s a Tiger Lily run at Bukit Gombak next week, so get ready for another short run, and you’ll just have to wait another week for Smells Me!
Virgins? Not amongst this lot. Visitors? Lethal Weapon, Joon, Pink Fanny and Sperm Off Ice – here’s to the visitors, they’re true blue…..
And now it’s time for the Hare Whip? On inPokai, who immediately calls in her co-hares. Today I just made up the threesome she explains – (just like Lady Diana was the third person in the marriage?). The hares were just trying to get rid of me! At the outset, Comes Quietly was keen to get going – come on, are you ready yet? And then Bibrator says: “I will carry my water bottle, you carry the 10 rolls.” And off they went at Olympic walking pace, with the third wheel struggling to keep up. Walk so damn bloody fast ahhh, almost hit by durian, so had to stop to inspect, then they were gone. Caught up, then bend over to tie laces. Look up and gone already. But they didn’t bet on this hare being a bitch, sniffing them out and following the absconders onto the long run, but then the hares took off again, leaving our poor Pokai to fend for herself – they’re the meanest….. Next we have a recce re-enactment – Pokai as Comes Quietly, giving instructions in Cantonese, to Bibrator as lookalike for Pokai, who had managed to fall down on trail. Can you stand or not? I’m not carrying you! You’ll just have to carry on yourself. Hymn, hymn, f him……
VB has a PSA. 2 more suckers have signed up for the Quad run – loads of Heineken, extra MSG and a JB hangover – sign up here