So it’s time for…the…Mystery Whip, in the person of Puul Toy who wants to charge the GMs for excessive zeal in her beautifying activities. “Would you believe,” he explains “she ordered a bulk delivery of milk from her dairy, 50 litres, so that, like Cleopatra, she could bathe in milk”. The dairy order processing person asked “do you want it pasteurised? “ and PML answered, “No, just up to my nipples!” (for the intellectually challenged, pasteurised = past your eyes…I’ve been explaining that joke since about 1947 – Scribe). Anyway it was “B-I-M-B-O…”
The GMs quite justifiably countercharged with: “Not acceptable to charge the GMs with jokes so old they’re going rotten!” but being a forgiving sweetie, decided that “He’s all right, he’s all right…”
Now, a short interlude for Next Week’s Hares to vector us into their run site, which will be Bukit Merah Lane 3 with an on-on nearby…Alexandra Village?
Then it’s the GMs’ favourite hash moment…POTW, with Foetus the current caretaker. She asks for the Circle’s guidance – rather obviously, the Hare fully deserves the dark dongle, but there are other candidates, notably Cherry Picker who talks too much, and Chicken S#tnot talking enough… The circle, however, has no doubt, it goes back to Hooray.
GMs goes back to when she was charged for violating the Hash dress code, i.e. wearing non-hash garb in the circle. This night there were several recidivists – Pays 2 Cum, Eleven, 8.24and the two Returnees…”They ought to be publically…”
Who is tonight’s Mystery, Mystery Whip? None other than Chastity Belt & after a comment on the milk joke puts the rhetorical question: “How do you whip a run like that?” Yes indeed, so how?. Calling in the front runners who made their way 10.2km to Bukit Brown to find some runnable territory, he noted they were a bit tired… walking in Stash, Cherry Picker, Samson Letoi, taking pity, Circle Jerk gave credit where it was due with “They’re all right, they’re all right…” Seems that casualties of the free-form run were the people that usually follow…with no Daddy Duck up front, where to go? This trapped Chicken Shit, Prick me, Foetus, Wanky Poo, Fawlty Bush & Foreplay…”Why were they born…”
Next up…TOTW… Hosted by GMs,who called in Mother Mary, observing that MM joined LCHHH before GMs was born, and causing MM to voice the wail of all mothers everywhere…”I did it once and I don’t want to do it again…” Chuckle from the Circle then it’s realised there are other ex GMs/ GMs around so come in Knickerless and Wee Willie “why were they born…” But it’s Mother Mary who gets the T-shirt.
Enfin…AOB… Circle Jerk calls inStrapless for propositioning on the Hash, seems that an increasing number of SGP male population prefer the company of men, so when CJ heard “I like you!” he ran the fastest ever… Stash also had a charge for Strapless, the deserter…after having encouraged the FRBs to take a turn round Bukit Brown via Braddell, Lornie etc, the bugger persistently shortcutted and eventually left the FRBs to return home early….Here’s to the deserter….”
AOB from Coo Chi Coo, calling in the guest who wandered off to get an umbrella – a bit overkill under the shelter of a rather large LTA overpass. “Here’s to brolly hunters…”
P2Cum called in the GMs to report that she survived last week’s encounter with an over-supply of downdowns with only one prayer to the porcelain god, so, modestly, he claimed, getting her trained…
AOB from the GM: Samson Letoi, for the second time, gets called in over his home-made trail – well, one might ask, in the absence of a proper trail, what to do? Points for creativity! “here’s to inventors, they’re true blue…”
A contribution from 8.24 and a suggestion that here was a visitor without a hash name, so do we have a naming opportunity? The Circle was apparently not in the mood so simply decided “She’s all right…”
Last word on AOB from the GMs … Cherry Picker is summoned after being caught primping his hair in the mirror… Here’s to the beauty Boy…”
And with that, it’s ON-ON-ON…
Circle Report – Run 1888
Lucky Luck run
25th May 2018
Run Site: Zhongshan Mall Car Park, off Ah Hood Rd
On-on: Starkers Bistro
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 43, of which 36 Members ( 17 F, 19 M)
Virgins: Allegedly 2
Guests & Returnees: 5 (4F,1M)
Next Week’s Hares: Pokai & Trolley Dolly
Run Site: Bukit Merah Lane 3
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Fawlty Towers
In the ever-more-difficult search for new run territories, exploration is bound to suffer some failures. This was one of them. Billed as the Lucky Luck Run 2018, Run # 1888 suffered from a seemingly total absence of good fortune. There was quite a lot of mystery, however. After the Hare was revealed to be Hooray, the next mystery was the trail. Where was it? Rain had washed out the chalk trail markings, not unknown at this season, but seemingly defeating the highly-experienced Hare’s ability to anticipate or recover. Result, no trail … so what were we there for? Apparently a free-form D-I-Y run… more of which later. The result was a predictable HASH S#T, the first after a long run of Good Runs…but this came only after relocating the Circle to a place more in tune with Hashy activities which was achieved through an executive decision by the GM PuckSmuggler.
After the disappointed Circle delivered its verdict, we heard about the on-on (Starkers Bistro- now more than 10 steps away) and looked for: Virgins of which there were 2, but they didn’t run – understandably, or drink, so names not noted. Still, we hope they will come again.
Guests called in by GMs Puck Me Lately were Vickie Theo and Yuki, and 3 Returnees: with Foetus were Foreplay, Knickerlessand Wee Willie “Why were they born so...”
On an aside Stash called in Cherry Picker for not recognising Knickerless after running with her for umpteen years …”He really is so dumb…”
And the GM feels the Circle could do with a little more sparkle and calls in Pays 2 Cum, 8.24, Puul Toy, Stick her Shock, and Fawlty Towers along with Strapless & Trolley Dolly for not being involved…
Supporting,Pokai gingered up the proceedings by calling back Puul Toy, & Stick her Shock, who arrived only at 7pm and the charger wanted to know, what were they doing meantime? There’s no answer to that, so Pokai calls in Handbag and Cherry Picker for more ignorance & not knowing it’s the season of Ramadan…”They’re really really dumb…”
On with the Hare whip, Mystery no more, and first charge is on Stash – “My friend…” well, in view of the earlier verdict, that could be a chargeable offence…”here’s to friends, they’re true blue…” Then it’s the turn of Samson Letoi for creating a home made false trail to Bukit Brown…”He ought to be…” and finally the Hare Whip (fairly) charges himself …”He’s the meanest…”