And now it really is time for the Mystery, Mystery, Whip??? And after a refill, Astronut takes the floor, and calls in his Assistant Hash Cash – Bibrator, who apparently enjoyed the run from the comfort of her car. Did you collect any money enquires the Hash Cash? Not really. So let’s find a special Karaoke bar song for the Mekong – Singaporean, who really only wants a wedding ring. Then it’s on in Strapless, who had consorted with a random local, and had somehow tried to sabotage the run – he’s the meanest….. And then Astronut claimed he had held back thorns, to allow a hasher through – Ayam Zinking, who wasn’t even on trial. So if VB hadn’t been there, what wasAyam Zinking doing - D. D. D. D…… Now some even managed to get in b4 the FRB’s – how is that possible? Shortcutting, of course. And they led others astray. Let’s get the biggest short cutter of them all in – Rooning Sh#t – he’s dumb……
VB tells us about her Wednesday recce, when she decided to short cut to MBS to register for the half mara (haring and hashing is just not enough for some?). Only to have to traverse long grass, full of mozzies. Then the next day when she was doing the downward dog (and for Roo Rooter’s benefit, I’d like to clarify that’s apparently a yoga move), and her friends exclaimed – OMG, what happened to your legs? Here’s to long grass, she’s true blue….. And then VB wants to tell us about, the noisy neighbor doing more than the downward dog – and apparently a cousin of Strapless. But Cherry Picker is having none of this off script stuff, and charges his co-GM – she’s alright, she’s alright…..
AoB?Sweet Thighs is in. She’d been informed by Chicken Sh#t that the reason Bibrator was so well dressed, was becoz she didn’t actually run. And she was spotted in a wine bar, sipping wines with Wonton. And Smells Me is guilty also – they ought to be publicly…..
Juicy Pussy has a beer on her head – and so it’s on in the Singaporeans, and the Hares. It might be Thanksgiving, but the Singaporeans don’t care, they just want to get to the black Friday sales. So much so that one SG gal was almost killed trying to get to Robinsons. And the Hares are in as they were obviously waiting for the black Friday toilet paper sales? Why not just go to Sheng Siong – cheap and good! Here’s to the cheapo’s, they’re true blue….
VB has another (and Cherry Picker has given up by now). I am from the USofA, and we kill each other for a cheap TV at the Black Friday Sales!
Bully has one for the Dominator. Apparently she just had to go, and they happened to be near a McDonalds, and so Bully helpfully suggested she try their facilities. But according to the dominant one – No, it’s closed. But Saliva was within earshot and called out – you don’t know everything. And indeed it was open, but was there any paper in there? Just like the trail, none to be seen anywhere.
VB is unstoppable – she has a PSA (Cherry Picker is groaning by the beer truck by now), we need hares for the 10th and 17th of January? That’s years away.
Strapless is in with a charge – this one is either jealousy or racist – you decide? Seems Strapless – a strong Chinese man, was sitting beside the lovely Lap Dog in Chiang Mai. And Cherry Picker walks past and says, so I see your sitting with a Chink. Shame, shame, but he’s alright, he alright…..
Circle Jerk takes control, confident that the hash brew has provisioned well and there is enough beer left for at least one more charge. Today’s run was, in his opinion, the run of the year! (And VB and Roo Rooter are beaming). Now, the modern hasher say CJ, requires a customized service, a one on one, personalized live hare experience. And whilst on the non existent trial tonight, as CJ and thescribe tried in vain to find any semblance of paper, CJ took the lead, and led Fawlty Towers on a fabulous shiggy run, that managed to get the scribe back just on dark and in good time for the circle. And as CJ and FT discussed the terrain over a beer, they both agreed it was a bloody great run, which should be recorded in the annals of the LCH3 as the run of the year. Here’s to the Fawlty news, they’re true blue….
Cereal Killer is the observant type, and he’s in with a charge for Strapless. Seems the strong man was shopping in Chiang Mai, and decided to buy a tin mug to save the planet. But it’s still tied to his belt and he’s gone through at least 5 plastic cups already tonight – here’s to enviro man……
Juicy Pussy is also on fire and is back in. Today I was a bit late, but I made the right decision to follow Rooning Sh#t. We were on paper towards the end of the run, and we ran into Cereal Killer running towards us? Now I’m really puzzled, as Cereal Killer was with Stash, and he has never before come to look after me on a hash. We have done ball breakers in the mountains of Kuching, Penang and Genting, and he just runs off and leaves me to fend for myself. But only today, when I was running with Rooning Sh#t, enjoying myself, did he appear on a run for the very first time (is this another jealousy or racist charge?). I could have made the wrong decision and followed Stash. So I asked CK, where’s Stash? Oh, I eff’d him off. SeemsCK realized he made the wrong decision, and should have followed Rooning Sh#t, or at least his very own washing machine!
Stash wasn’t taking the bait. He thought it was indeed a lovely run today. Paper was a bit thin in places, but perfectly manageable. Until that is, the hasher he was with, stopped calling and bolted ahead, leaving Stash alone and off trail. Cereal Killer is back for the revenge charge – here’s to the Silent Killer, he’s true blue….
And with the Singapore Police lurking around for some free turkey, andCJ having expired his beer budget, it’s on on on at 8:42pm. Well done GM’s for an excellent circle (better luck next time Cherry Picker), great run Hares (especially Circle Jerk – RoTY), and a fabulous on on by Voting B#tch, Roo Rooter and Mr. Hoe.
Hares: Voting B#tch
On-on: Mr. Hoe on site
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 36 of which 31 Members (14F, 17M)
Virgins: Yes - Hyjun
Guests & Returnees: Boob a Lube, Tom Yun Goong, Dead Fish and Cereal Killer
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Poser
Welcome to our multi tasking hare who also happens to be our GM – Voting B#tch, and the stand-in GM (or is that bimbo?) – Cherry Picker. And our GM’s want to know – what did we think of the trail? There was no trail exclaims half the circle! But Bully says he found paper – just one piece. But making allowances for the excellent haring efforts (partially assisted by Roo Rooter) and the bucketing down of rain all afternoon, it’s rightly declared a Good Run. Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue, they are…….. And Cherry Picker to his co-GM – and tell us about your on on? Mr. Hoe’s turkey with stuffing veg and all the trimmings, and apple or pecan pie. And all for the heavily subsidised $12, plus some hare beers – what more could a LCH3 hasher ask for?
Next weeks run (CP has been practicing the running order for sure, trying to avoid a charge from Pucks Me Lately?), It’s sugar daddy Handbag and his daughter – Tiny Tuna. And of course it’s in Pasir Ris Park, car park “A”, with a new restaurant for the on on. So set the GPS and head east (or is that west?) for what is typically a great run and on on
Virgins? Yes it’s the K pop girl – Hyjun. Apparently she found one tissue on trail – but that wasn’t actually a marking. Here’s to the K pop gal, she’ true blue……
Returnees? It’s the return of Boob a lube, via Chiang Mai, who only came for the previously advertised DnD, paid his $200 to Strapless, only to realise the date was subsequently changed. So thanks for paying for Strapless’ next car key. Here’s to the returnee, he’s true blue……
Let’s get the paying public in – Visitors: Tom Yun Goong, (the Bangkok girl) Dead Fish and Cereal Killer, here’s to the visitors – ok you dispirited lot – D. D. D. D…….
Following the script like a Channel News Asia news presenter (for fear of being charged), Cherry Picker correctly calls for the Hare Whip. Oh, that’s me says VB. Let’s get Santa’s grumpy little helper in – Roo Rooter. He’s looking a bit grumpy coz this can’t be a run of the year (VB is a committee member), he didn’t get to set it with his bromance partner – Cherry Picker, and there was no shiggy. And Cherry Picker points out that Roo Rooter was holding VB’s handbag after the run, so stay in Cherry Picker and here’s to the gay boys, they’re true blue…. Now, according to VB, Thanksgiving is the one day of the year in the US that she really misses. No cards, no gifts no b/s, just eat and drink and fill out those expandable (Joey from Friends) maternity pants. So let’s get the American’s in and have a vote for which turkey will be pardoned? And which one is the butter ball, asks Roo Rooter? On inDitch, Stash, Dead Fish and Boob a lube. And Dead Fish is pardoned and the rest are plucked (I thought that what she said). Their dumb, their dumb, they’re really……
Still on script, Cherry Picker decides – and now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip? It’s no good. No, I mean, it really is No Good. And she explains how arriving late, she called her no good husband – Coo Chi Coo for some tips. But what did she get? Absolutely nothing. He’s the meanest….. And departing the circle, Coo Chi Coo says – so I guess that means I’m not getting a tip tonight! No Good then explains how some girls are wearing the American t-shirt, but just – talk, talk, talk. On in Smells Me and Wonton. And Bully wants to know if it was a Black Friday special? They ought to be publicly…
And VB drags back in Roo Rooter, who from the beginning of the recce, was complaining – I do everything, go here, go there. Too much information – here’s to the Bimbo….. And a small one – VB overheard Chicken Sh#t to Strapless on the run – see there, there’s a small hole in the fence. And Strapless’ reply – now way, cannot be – how could VB fit through there? He’s the meanest…….