TOTW time, and Roo Rooter enters, looking forward to passing on the hair shirt as he’s had it two weeks. His candidates, called in were: Coo Chi Coo for fucking up the start, not announcing the beer stop so nobody found it, reminds one of POTUS interviews.
Cherry Picker, for short cutting across a main road instead of taking the footbridge…RR tried to follow but too many cars, lah… The most deserving, by Circle cheers & jeers, was Coo Chi Coo who seemed to find the robe of office rather heavy (see photos – Ed). Here,Voting Bitch seized the opportunity to lead the singing for the special occasion…Hashy birthday, f-you, for being Coo Chi Coo…
Grand Mattress has a special charge for Spreads Easily, who’s wearing a pair of eff me shoes. Seems she arrived in the same shoes, treading on VB’s turf…B-I-M-B-O…
8.24 makes a sudden entrance, unexpectedly, and tells a long and incomprehensible story of his conversation with some general workers along the trail, something about sledge hammers and passing wind, unfortunately the connection was lost on our scribe, can you run it past him again?
Finally after this interruption it WAS time for the Mystery, Mystery Whip. After the usual ins & outs, the mystery is solved and it’s Stash. He calls in Awesome Foursome and Trolley Dolly, a pair of FRB’s who manage to stay fit and in front… even if after Stash… M2 Whip’s second victim is Puck Me Lately. After being a Hash member for many years and faithfully paying his subs, Stash was astounded tonight to hear that one hasher has found a way to claim subs on expenses…PMLis the expert cost offloader. … “She’s all right, she’s all right…” (For sure her advice will be enthusiastically sought by locals – Ed)
PML is called back since she wants to join up … if so, it seems she will be first lady, and then who will pay the subs, the GM?...
AOB from Ditch, who says he experienced a unique event this night – climbing over a lump where FRBs ran away instead of helping a harriet …Sir Long & Thin was the knight errant but somewhat lacking in chivalry…However, help came - from behind, it seems, and Spreads Easily got up the hill with a push from - Herr Linguist.
AOB from Hooray, on behalf of our local greenery … “1% of the tax we taxpayers pay goes on maintaining this national asset … I have to call in one hasher for breaking the rules tonight whilst short-cutting – and the offender was…Posh Pussy..” “She ought to be…”
Not Good News from GMs…due to inelasticity of supply, as economists euphemistically call a shortage, from next week the beer truck will be unable to provide water for showering. So it’s BYO or be smelly at the on-on.
AOB from Trolley Dolly…who wants to conduct a little social research…. Sperm off Ice, how many pairs of shoes do you own?” “Don’t know, not many”. Cunni Lick Her how about you? “Maybe 6 pairs” “Now, Stick Her Shock how many? “ “Hmmm… about 50 pairs”. And Wet Landing?” “Oh around 30 pairs”. TD did not enlighten us to the objective of his experiment but it’s clear that women like to be well supplied with footwear…to kick ass?
Trolley Dolley’s next AOB was a hilarious balloon blowing challenge as a run-up to the 35th Anniversary Celebrations. Enter Eleven, Mother Mary, Handbag and Telecum. The winner had to blow the biggest balloon before it burst.TD handed a balloon to all contestants except Telecum, who got a condom. Amazingly he won the competition, obviously having perfected his the technique with much practice.
Last AOB, appropriately, was about getting to the on-on… Handbagnominated Juicy Pussy as B-I-M-B-O for asking for a ride to the on-on…which was called some time around 8.45.
Circle Report- Run 1853
Date: Friday 29th Sept 2017
Run Site: Pepys Road Car Park C/D
On-on: The Peak Poolside
Hares: Coo Chi Coo & No Good
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 57 of which 43 Members ( F 23 & M 20)
Visitors & Returnees: F 3, M 9
New Member: Threat from Puck Me Lately
Milestones Coo Chi Coo’s umpteenth birthday
Next Week’s Hares: Running & Chicken Sh*ts
Run Site: Bulim St off Bulim Ave
On-On: On Site – Mr Ho
Circle Scribe: Cherry Picker, Photos: Goody Bag
At 20.00 sharp the GMs summoned the Hares into the circle to hear the usual abuse… adding this time, “Where was the beer stop?” to the usual too much of this and not enough that. Coo Chi Coo explained it should have been at the Handlebar but he forgot to brief people. Generously the Circle awarded a GOOD RUN, “He’s all right, but a teeny weeny willy…’
GMs Voting Bitch called the Hare back, saying he deserved a hash sh*t for going through regulated territory without telling her…B-I-M-B-O.
Where’s the On-On? A few steps up the hill at $15 for a free flow. Girls in bikinis, not men.
Next Week’s Hares: Chicken Sh*t representing the Sh*t family (the other one did a runner?-Ed) explaining that Bulim St is shown on maps as Wenya Ave, seems the GOS didn’t like the old name. On-on is on site, the highly esteemed Mr Ho or Mr Hoe if you prefer.
Guests: Girls: Puck me Lately, Spreads Easily, Tina Tuna…Men: Butt Wiper, Cunni Lick Her, Cunning Linguist, Sperm off Ice, Telecum, Trolley Dolly (+3 I did not recognise)
Virgins? There were two, James made to come by Sarah, and Giles, led astray by Cunni
Lick Her (or lick him? - Ed)
VB calls in Puck Me Lately & Puck Smuggler … at 5.58pm PS leaves the run site to drive to the bottom of hill to pick up PML …PS was disappointed because it became a triangular affair when Telecum joined…but eventually all 3 came… B-I-M-B-O x3
Hare Whip: inevitably, Coo Chi Coo, took up the job and indulged in a spot of auto-flagellation, charging himself due to cocking up the start. He meant to be back in time but was late so no briefing – which was why the beer stop was a mystery and people missed it… Co-hare was too busy cooking for the on-on and anyway she knew nothing about the run…another B-I-M-B-O.
VBcalled CCC back, for hashing many long years and staying alive whilst co-priapist Hugh Hefner has passed on already… ”Here’s to sex-maniacs they’re true blue…”
Mystery Whip: Bibrator appeared, looking worried … “I don’t know what to whip…” (After all this time? – Ed) “Anyway, I was in a gym yesterday…” “Buuullshit!” came the cry…”Shut up!…” “Anyway I met PoKai…come in, Pokai…she was there taking a shower to save on
her PUB bill…” Mwhip called in Rudolf, …”Now the old man is here, he can pay Pokai’s PUB bills…” “Here’s to rich men, they’re true blue…” at which PoKai let her hair down…
Since Mwhip had nothing more to offer, Sperm off Ice grabbed the opportunity to remind that the Red Dress Run will be on Saturday 21st October. That triggered Voting Bitch to follow quickly with a plug for theLCHHH 35th Anniversary run, dinner and dance which will happen on the weekend of 24th 25th November…Early Bird payment will save members $50…Goody Bag is included (Good news – I’ve been trying to get with Goody Bag for a long time – Ed)…