Run 1914 Circle Report

Friday 23rd November 2018

Run Site: Turf Club Rd Car Park B

(Blue House Int’l School)

Hares: Ditch & Sweet Thighs

On-on: Red Lantern

Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 43 of which 38 Members (16 F, 22 M)

Virgins:                                   Nil

Guests & Returnees:                 5 (2F, 3 M)

Next Week’s Hares: All the Scots

Run Site: Blackmore Drive

On-On: Red Lantern

Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula

Some 43 hashers were attracted to the popular Turf Club Road run site, revisited after a gap of several months since the car park was privatised. Hats off to hares for persuasion and thanks to Blue House International School for allowing LCHHH access. Out of range of street lights, it was a bit dark so the circle was patchily lit by a few head torches & LED lights, more reminiscent of Halloween than Thanksgiving. We had fewer Americans than expected, maybe still suffering from the annual turkey binge?

Circle up was called by the Puck familya few minutes after 8pm and “OKAY…where are the hares? Enter Ditch & Sweet Thighs. What did we think of the run?” Despite GM’s attempt to get intelligent comments from the circle (what did he expect?!), it was the same old stuff… Too much shiggy, not enough paper, too many checks etc etc but after all the shouting it was a GOOD RUN even heading in the direction of Great Run. Where’s your on-on? Quickly disposed of, as even visually challenged FRBs can find their way to the Red Lantern.

Virgins there were none,Guests were: Girls: Ayam Coming & Returnee Shipyard Flasher, Men: Buzz Lightyear, Cunni Lick Her and Lady Boy.

Then Ditchwas in as Hare Whip. First charge was to the FRBs, led by Pays to Come & Comes Quietly, for being trail blazers - running the wrong way. They got so far off track that they found the in-trail and followed it outwards. “They ought to be publically…” Next in is Samson LeToi, seemingly challenged mobility-wise, unable to get down to untie his shoelaces. He calls on his willing slave, Suction Cup, to pamper him. So for the second week running, he’s noted for his fancy for being pampered, but “He’s all right, he’s all right…”

Moving on quickly – so quickly GM combines two-in-one as Mystery Prick of the Week, duly tasking Blur like Sotong, who gets his revenge over the GM’s coercion getting him to do MW. GM: “Can you do MW this week?” BLS: “Not this week, sorry busy with the wife”. GM: “So do it next week – do it with your wife…!” BLS: “There’s no answer to that!” So GM gets a D-D.

Next charge is on Bibrator for efforts in vain. Blur like Sotong explains: “We were going up a steep slope together, she’s struggling, so I tell her – Come on, you can do it! – (cries of BS, BS!). So we push on to the top, and then what? Nobody comes!” So for struggling the wrong way, she’s B-I-M-B-O. Cue for “Come in Grand Mattress…” Puck Me Lately… well into the run, along Jalan Kampong Chantek, BLS quotes her call “I think it’s this way”… leading everyone to a T-check. “Oh, no it’s the turning…” B-I-M-B-O. BLS appeals to the circle to decide who gets the POTWand the shout-ometer says it’s Bibrator! “Here’s to the Pricky-wicky…” GM: Don’t use it all up in one place!”

OKAY says GM…”we need a Trump”. GMs: Oh, I am the TOTW…but I have no idea who to make the TOTW this week…” “KEEP THE TRUMP!!” comes back from the Circle. “Ah well, Bibrator is doing all the wrong things…” Looks like it’s moving towards a Grand Slam for Bibrator. More from GMs: “We were in the car park, she said something… I can’t remember…” “KEEP THE SHIRT!!” “She’s dumb, she’s dumb, she’s really, really dumb…” “OKAY says GM, running out of patience, give us the TOTW climax!” Bibrator protests loudly, indecision reigns and Wonton, who’s got no doubt about who deserves the shirt, seizes the opportunity to summon Comes Quietly. She wanted him to have it 2 weeks ago, but he was not there. She exposes him for giving a false excuse for nonattendance at the D&D. Fair charge, “He’s the meanest…”

Lost & Found department… someone left behind a rather up-market water-bottle at the last run… contact GMs PML if you want it.

Next Week’s Run? Och aye the noo, Corny Linguist, Bagless & their kilted tribe promise another excellent St Andrews Day Run from what is rapidly becoming the Orchard Road of run sites, Blackmore Drive, paired with … guess where?

Come back in Corny Linguist, you’re Mystery2 Whip…In philosophical mood, he notes that the hash is a microcosm of society, which prompts a ”WTF is a microcosm?” from an unschooled citizen. Listen in dear, you might learn something! As it’s the season, he focusses on Americans, calling in Stash. “What did you do especially for Thanksgiving Day?” “I wore my turkey T-shirt” “Is that all? “On in Wonton, for keeping your husband in poverty!” On in Cunni Lick Her, a one-man example of the great American Dream. Unemployed due to the depression, he’s now working extra hard on a ship. It’s your turn Voting B*, evidencing the current American obsession with foreskins which seems to be swarming across the pond. This predictably causes the Circle to break into song “Pull back, pull back…” Finally to complete the Thanksgiving line-up, in comes Puck Smuggler for “Here’s to Americans, they’re true blue…”

AOB is a bit slow coming forward, probably due to the combination of darkness and Crossroads beer causing navigational difficulty, but Voting B* keeps the show on the road with an account of disturbed changing. As it was dark she didn’t bother too much with sarongs & stuff, which was fine until some b*rd turned on his car headlights, putting her in the spotlight. Moving out of the way, she got on with the task, only to be disturbed by the sound of heavy coochi-cooing from … Puck Me Lately and Pays to Cum…”They ought to be publically…”

AOB from GMs who noted there seemed to be something magical for Juicy Pussy about the definitely upsized Porsche belonging to Lady Boy. Was she trying to turn him into a straight? JP responded with her own explanation, that she had picked up the wrong pair of flip-flops and was trying to find the rightful owner. This led on to a long story about the search for the true owner which got like a kampong version of Cinderella, but eventually the flips flopped back to where they belonged. “They’re all right, they’re all right…”

Final AOB is from Corny Linguist who’ll be having his 65th Birthday on 8th December at the ColeBar. All LCHHH people are welcome from 7.30pm onwards. See graphic on the Interhash page (7).

With the darkness and hunger damping down further AOB the GM called ON-ON-ON at a rather early 8.30pm, so it’s thanks to the hares for coping with a wipe-out downpour and giving us a great run, and to the Puck family for another entertaining Circle.