TOTW was a no-show, rumoured that Airborne had kept it for another week for remarking that Malaya would still be a colony if it weren’t for the Americans.
POTW – Strapless also called in Running S#t, seems he wanted to give him the terrible tool last week but he stayed away from the run. “He’s a non-believer, he never believes me…Today he bullied me big time…pushed me into the mud…pick somebody your own size…” So RS gets the hot rod.
This gives Voting B# an idea. Calling in Ditch with RS, she points out that Ditch is Patrick, and with the saint’s name goes his reputation for driving out snakes. So she calls on Ditch to exorcise the snake in RS’ hand… “He’s the meanest…”
It’s a long time since we had a Milestone to celebrate but now we can get Bully to strip as he has achieved over 600 Runs! It’s “Off-off-off” once more as he dons his well-earned haberdashery - an auspicious shade of panther pink – see below.
Mystery Mystery Whip was Circle Jerk, whose first charge is for GMs for asking for a Guinness down-down. In absentia another charge goes to Corny Linguist for, at the last minute asking CJ to step in as M2W.
Visitor Pink Pussy was in the spotlight, but the charge rebounded on CJ cause her real name is Pink Fanny D-D for CJ. Anyway, seems PF is very close to her mother – how do we know that? Every time she got wet she shouted “Mummy!” “Here’s to Mummy’s girl, she’s true blue…” Now it was Bibrator’s turn to be whipped – from being way out in front she had slipped to being just in front of CJ. “What happened?” “Oh, it’s all these small pricks…” “Here’s to prick avoiders, they’re true blue…” Finally from the M2 Whip’s bumper bundle (Making up for the M Whip) a look-alike for Durian Dog and in the flesh (all of it) Chong for hash nudity – both stripped off during the run. “Here’s to hash flashers, they’re true blue…”
Any Other Business: Voting B announced that to expedite the proceedings she had decided to chop the first 2 entrants for AOB (sounds painful - Scribe). Despite (or because of) the threat, first AOB came from a guest, Dickless. He had fallen in love with VB’s effme shoes, and wanted to praise her for replying to all his emails. So he would reward her with a Swedish T-Shirt…”Off-off-off…” cried
the circle. VB duly obliged (only a month left of her reign as President) and on went GOTEBORG.
More AOB from PoKai, calling in Comes Quietly, she sits him in a chair. Seems that despite his T-shirt size he is a fat b*trd and broke a chair. “Who ate all the pies?...” Next up from PoKai, as people found out at the last minute that they had to carry a torch for part of the run, they had apparently grabbed the first that came to hand. PoKai found a very up-market device that had enough bulbs and flashers for a disco. Who was the owner? - Goody Bag! “Here’s to disco babe, she’s true blue…”
AOB from Stash: seems one lady with a white Mercedes attracted a parking charge. Though she had stayed dry the whole run, she began to sweat phoning her husband…on in Sharon Batu! Just time to finish a D-D and then she’s called back by the GM…Sadly she’s off to Australia and it’s time to give her the traditional Hash farewell song…led by Saint Puck Smuggler – spot the halo?
Final AOB from Handbag who feels that, if the Committee is having difficulty filling the top jobs, they should take a leaf from China’s book and allow the GMs to hold office for life…
Date: Friday 16th March 2018
Run Site: Tagore Drive
On-on: Xian Seafood, 81 Tagore Lane, #01-10
Hares: Puck Smuggler & SOI
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50 of which Members 42 (22F & 20M )
Virgins: not as such
Visitors & Returnees: 8 (4 F, 4 M)
New Member: not this week
Milestones: Bully, in the pink: 600 Runs
Next Week’s Hares: Totally Unacceptable & Prick Me
Run Site: Seah Im Road, car park
On-On: On Site…Ho Ho!
Circle Scribe: Cherry Picker, Photos: Count Dracula
Nearly (but not quite) everyone picked up the Saint Patrick green theme and certainly the GM/ Hare Puck Smuggler and GMs Voting B# led the trend, with the hares sporting wally hats too. Never mind the blatant advertising for what is good for you – but then Sperm Off Ice has to give something back for doing well by doing good. Well, how was the run, anyway? Too good, too long, too short, too much, too little, too everything, but after all that, GOOD RUN!!-as verified no doubt by the police CCTV camera in front of which the circle performed.
On-on is just up the road same as last year “…same as every year!”, howled the doubters. Never mind it’s 7 courses for $12 so stop whining.
Next Week’s Hares: Prick Me says the run will start from Seah Im Rd Car park (West) with an on-site on-on, and forget about any false news of Gillman Barracks. There will even be a Totally Unacceptable farewell polo shirt, and Mr Hoe’s hashers favourite food.
Guests & Returnees: included After Hours, Dominator, Pink Fanny, Tiger Lily, Chong, Dickless, Dickless II, & Windy Bar. SOI was a guest, of course, but earned his beer as a hare.
Hare Whip: Puck Smuggler called in his co-hare for being unable to tie a band, and then PoKai for failing to wear green, even though the CNY run green T-shirt she organised would have been perfect for St Patrick’s Day. B-I-M-B-O. Similarly guilty were Stick her Shock (orange) Foetus (red) and a host of other non-Greens – Poser, Awesome Foursome, Wonton & Chong.
After that, a charge for Chicken S#t and Windy Bar – the local lady gave instructions to the guest “…It’s this way & that, then you cross, and then,… and don’t go through the tunnel, and then.. and then…etc.” So they dodged the best part of the run, and Chicken S#t joined her short cutting namesake Running S#t…”Here’s to Bypassers, they’re true blue…”
Tiger Lily was next in the stocks for being the most lame duck hasher. The technicolour wig seemed to affect her brain, she said St Patrick was from Wales… ”You couldn’t even name a saint properly…” “She’s the meanest…”
PSA from Voting B#... Hare urgently needed for 6th April (first run after Easter) – First Aid Course – Saturday 1pm-4pm at Sommerville Park, fees direct to GMs please – no, hangover cures will not be on the agenda, if you haven’t found one yet you’re not a proper hasher. Last but not least – Next Year’s Committee: volunteers needed, particularly MEN…and promptly heeding the call, Circle Jerk came forward to be next GM!!
Mystery Whip: Wonton had only one charge, she had complains from Sooch who it seems has been neglected in favour of Running S#t’s new car. He’s always late for dinner. He treats the car like a mistress, pampering and polishing, even takes it to the spa – what he does there we don’t want to know! …”Get a life…”