PSA – Mother Mary has something important to say – yes it’s the Kampong HHH’s 20th anniversary run – Aussie House on the 21st Sept – see Strapless to sign up.
Our GM calls in Tight Lips. It’s an auspicious date you know? It’s the 42nd anniversary of Elvis Presley, who left the building aged 42 (PML – who the f is Elvis?). Anyway, CB continues on. So Tight Lips was in a tattoo parlour to mark this auspicious day. Can I get Elvis tattooed on my left inner thigh, and Mick Jagger on my right inner thigh? Struggling to make out if the likenesses were good by looking at them upside down, Tight Lips walks up to a derelict on the street (Fawlty Towers), lifts up her skirt and asks, is this Elvis or Mick? And FT replies, I’m not sure, but it looks like ZZ Top in the middle! (PML – and who’s ZZ Top? – she’s just from a totally different generation). But now TL says she waxes regularly, so now it’s Kojak in the middle?
PoTW?PML reaches under the scribes chair and pulls out something enormous. PML waving it to the virgin Trudy – this is the best thing on the hash! There are some real Pr#cks on the hash you know. On in Juicy Pussy and Tiger Lily for leaving a virgin at the tunnel – crying. And then Airborne, for spying mud on the virgin’s ass, and pretending it was an insect and trying to flick it off. But try as she may, PML gets to Keep the Pr#ck – B.I.M.B.O…. and back under the scribe’s chair it goes.
MMW? Yes it’s Wankie Pooh (did CB text her?). On in the French gentlemen, for displaying solidarity earlier and not supporting the Singaporean virgin – here’s the two nonchalant ones, they’re true blue…. Next it’s the hares – and where were you when this gorgeous young virgin was lost, alone, in the dark, in the jungle? Did you lead a search party? Jump in your car? Call SCDF? No, they were drinking beer, and being even more nonchalant than the French – they’re the meanest….. Next it’s the committee, for holding up the circle, by drinking beer (sounds like they are traditional LCH3 members) – f them….. Next young Hugo is in. He was running through the shiggy, and lost a shoe in 2’ of mud, and then was groping around trying to find it (it happens to the best of us mate). There’s gotta be a name in that says Pr#ck Me. And very quickly from Dark Groper to Dirty Groper, the young gun is on his flip flops being sprinkled with beer and whatever other powers are infested in the GM, and will from this day forward and for herein ever-after, be known as Dirty Groper.
AoB? Pokai is in with an announcement for the Kampong run – it’s the little bit off National Day run. And it’s at Shoeless’s house, using Shoeless bbq, and drinking beers from Shoeless’s fridge – even though he is out of town! And not forgetting the holy trinity of hashing in SG this weekend, with The Boxer’s birthday run on Sunday – also a bbq, and The Boxer is also not at home!
And at 8:36pm, whilst the hashers were still deciding to put their beer on their head or on their lips, CB declares that Elvis has left the building, and so it’s on on on to the Red Lantern for some of Tight Lips beers. Great run hares, well done GM’s.
Hares: Butt Wiper and Tight Lips
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50 of which 40 Members (22F, 18M)
Virgins: Yes – Taxi Trudy and the 3 Frenchies
Guests/Returnee: Hugo (Dirty Groper), P Merah, Dead Fish, Cunni Lick Her, Trudy, Cocku, Arno, Oliver, Tiger Lily, Puck Me Lately,
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
It’s great to be back at Blackmore Drive. But hang on, we have a slight delay to the circle as the Virgin Trudy arrives back by taxi! And so at 8:01pm, Pr#ck Me and Chastity Belt round up all and welcome us to run #1952. Hares – Butt Wiper and Tight Lips are on in for the verdict. WDWTOTRun? Not enough shiggy, too short, thank God no one got lost, great run, fantastic, and so it was rightfully declared a Good Run. Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue…… Onon? It’s at the Red Lantern (where’s that asked someone). Apparently Blondie is buying the beers – well done Tight Lips.
Do we have virgins – yes – four of them! 3 Frenchmen – can we have a translator please, and Trudy – friend of Puck Me Lately. And even though she got lost, and came back in a taxi at 8pm, she still loves PML and will come again. Here’s to the virgins, they’re true blue…. (and thank God Coo Chi Coo is not here says Chastity Belt)
Visitors and Returnees? On in Hugo, P. Merah, Dead Fish, Cunni Lick Her, Tiger Lily and Puck Me Lately – Why were they born so……
Next week’s hare? Yay Trudy gets nominated. But it’s actually Pr#ck Me’s farewell hare run, supported by Airborne – Kallang Riverside Park, with a drinks stop and pizza on site – should be great fun.
Hare Whip? On in Butt Wiper and Tight Lips. BW, I’m so glad I did the run with you, as you were the only person I saw on trail. But it turns out Tight Lips was lucky to be there at all, having bruised herself on the Harriet’s run, straddling a fence. So BW has been stood down so to speak. She’s alright, she’s alright…. BW claims some hashers disgraced themselves (that’s normal), didn’t come close to trial, and some only turned up at 8pm – on in Smells Me, Shiggy Piggy, Ditch, Sweet Thighs andIn n Out. And for those that completely stuffed up the first circle check, and came back to the run site – Cherry Picker – And PML gladly leads the charge - B.I.M.B.O…….
Mystery Whip??? Cunni Licker Her is up and calls in Cherry Picker and Rooning Sh#t, for whimping out on the Clementi tunnel and going over the road – they’re the meanest…. Next CLH has the hares in, for lack of instruction, especially to a person using a vintage, not so smart phone. As we came out of the jungle and about to enter the tunnel, Airborne pulled out his relic, but couldn’t work out how to turn the light on! Harriettes, he needs some assistance – get him a B.I.M.B.O…. And now it’s Chastity Belt, for taking a slash in the jungle, whilst texting CLH to be the MW, and then immediately shaking hands with CLH and thanking him for accepting the role – he ought to be (was) publicly……