PSA – VB is doing her bit for the upcoming Quad run. Many now signing up for the even better Chinese food (is that an oxymoron?), gallons of Heineken, and the bus ride from hell.
Mystery, Mystery, Whip? The quiet Kiwi - Bangcock is in. But first he’s just gotta charge Handbag for being an over achiever. He was given a week’s notice, and has gone for the visual signs, and set the bar so high for all the rest of us. But according to some, that’s just the Singapore standard. He ought to be publicly…. And another admin charge – to Chastity Belt, who in desperation to get MW’s, had descended to asking weeks in advance? He’s stupid???? He’s dumb, he’s dumb, he’s really… Next it’s the hares. Bangcock is setting a run next month, and would like to thank tonight’s hares – for making so many stuff ups, that he can now fix, and so provide a perfect LCH3 run – they ought to be….. Let’s have the hares back in, and a FRB. What was that cluster f at the start? Paper in all directions. Where did it go anyway? Most of us ended up in the ditch! B.I.M.B.O.. andCherry Picker say – one Bimbo drinks – all Bimbo’s drink… And let’s also have the rest of the hares in for a team charge. Tonight there were missing sections, metre long arrows, tiny marks, no marks and couldn’t be f’d marks? They ought to be…..
Chastity Belt asksSmells Me to stay in. During the week, Smells Me went to see her banker. Whilst travelling to level 50 of MBFC Tower 2, a beautiful lady gets in the lift. It’s Spreads Easily. What is that lovely smell? Its Channel no. 8, $200/ounce, next stop on the way up, 8:24 enters – wow says Smells Me – what is that manly smell? It Aramis Eau De Toillete - $100/ounce. Arriving at L50, Smells Me alights, dropping a clanger on the way out. Ewweeee, what’s that say Spreads Easily and 8:24? Brocolli, 49 cents/kg…. D.D.D.D….
Screwdriver has one (most of us do, mate). Two blondes in a department store, in the perfume section. And the first one says – ohh, what’s that - smells like Come To Me? That don’t smell like “come to me”, says her Bimbo friend. Hamersly take it…….
And as if the gate wasn’t already open, our GM’s call for AoB? Sweet Thighs is in, claiming not a drop of wine had passed her lips tonight. Apparently someone had come early, and dropped the bottle. On in Stash and he definitely, ought to be publicly…
Stash stays in, to commend the hares for the wonderful drinks stop. Seems most hashers had really deserved their drink after a long run, but some – one – turned up, and skipped the run, and went straight to the drinks stop? Yes, the youngest one here, the one who is retiring today, at the grand old age of 27. Pucks Me Lately? B.I.M.B.O…..
Awesome4some has a follow on charge for PML, who had started the run recently with a kinda (she’s not that young), or was it Tinda? Ok, may be it was a Kindle? Seriously, reading a book on a run? D.D.D.D….
Pr#ck Me calls in Bibrator who ran in new shoes tonight, but is now in new flip flops? But there was no shiggy tonight, so bring them back next week for a proper down down……
Pucks Me Lately is back – I love the circle, what a great place to get revenge! On in Cherry Picker – Tonight I have a bewildering story, of an (over) grown man, trying to pull on a t-shirt two sizes too small. But according to CP, this shirt is not too small, someone told me last week I had lost weight? PML – why would you lie to a German Bimbo? B.I.M.B.O…..
Spreads Easily – Channel no. 8 has a charge. We all look for someone trustworthy to follow on the hash, especially in the shiggy at dark. So on in Ayam Zinking andCherry Picker. Stumbling around in the shiggy, only 5 metres from the drink stop. We couldn’t see them in the shiggy, but we could hear them – this way, no this way, and with all the guests following behind. But was it a mistaken identify – was Rooning Sh#t in the shiggy with them? And 8:24 reaches into his military repartee – Asshole, Asshole, a soldier I will be…..
Stash has a fashion statement – he saw a hasher wearing a sock on their forearm to get the sweat off? And then there is the short cutting kings – Rooning Sh#t andCherry Picker. But they have both been dethroned tonight by the unbelievable antics of Comes Quietly – He most definitely ought to be publicly…
And at 8:36pm, it’s time to skoll our beers and get a curry. Great job Hares, well done GM’s, and see you soon Pucks Me Lately.
Run 1945 Circle Report
Hares: 8:24, Spreads Easily and Smells Me
On-on: Sammy’s Curry
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 47 of which 40 Members (21F, 19M)
Virgins: Not behind the Church
Guests: Tasty Tail, Screwdriver, Buttless, Beverly Hill, Diet Coke Head and Sir Long and Thin, Guest Hare: Spreads Easily
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
Our GM’s – Pr#ck Me and Chastity Belt gather us behind the Church at 8pm, in the pitch darkness. Let’s not mess around, get the hares straight in for WDWTOTRun? But hang on, Chastity Belt has to remind us first about that crazy start, hashers going all directions, some following Monday paper – total confusion! But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good run. And so comments come thick and fast – virgin trail? Good drinks stop. Best run of the day. Hope the curry’s good……. And despite it all, our GM declares good run and D.D.D.D…… On on is at Sammy’s, two meat, two veg and rice and beer
Next week’s hares? There’s a pause – no run? It’s all fake news, it’s the American Day run for the 4th of July. Stash is the lead hare, and we’ll start from the playground at Springleaf. On on – ask me next week.
Returnee – Sir Long and Thin (who has been running every hash possible on his visit from hashless Kazakhstan) and Visitors - Tasty Tail, Screwdriver, Buttless, Beverly Hill, Diet Coke Head. And since Screwdriver reminds us he is from Hamersly, they get the song – Hamersly take it up……
Hare Whip? Yep its 8:24 – a man slightly before his time. On in No Rection (it seems many hariettes interpret this name as something else?). But since he’s not up for it, we need a look a like? On in Fawlty Bush. Out on the run, some guy came out from his landed property, and complained. Upon seeing FB climbing over his fence, he complained his fence was now damaged, allowing Singapore’s wild beasts in (ie: the rest of the pack?). Beastiality’s best boys….. On in the remaining hares – Spreads Easily and Smells Me. It took all 3 of the hares and about 100 watsapp msgs to decide the drink for the drinks stop – would it be a Mohito?, how about a Rusty Nail?, perhaps a Slow Comfortable Screw against the wall?, and not forgetting our mate from Aus – Screwdriver? But Smells Me wants the Shirley Temple? But 8:24 thinks it should have been named the Chop Suey, in honour of the restaurant owner, who pulled up the paper, and erased the chalk, and so some hashers missed the drinks stop altogether! You, you, f you Chop Suey man……
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip? Handbag is in, and would like to thank the GM for giving him one week’s notice. So he prepared some visual aids, but its pitch dark so we can’t see a thing. Some girl guide has a torch, and so the charge begins. Teenagers these days, hardly open their mouths, abbreviate everything. So let me show you a couple of visuals. And with a couple of Singlish experts standing by – Smells Me and Bibrator,Handbag holds up a sign with the following: A Chewy? All the Ang Mo’s are scratching their heads – what’s that? But the Singlish gals have got it – Actually. And now for the second one – Eh E Bo E? And apparently in Singlish that means Everybody. They ought to be publicly…. Next Handbag gets 8:24 in. He gets blamed for everything. Don’t know Eddy? Finish Eddy Eddy? Here’s to Already Eddy - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…… Now we all remember that iconic Singaporean photo, of the National Serviceman, reporting for duty, with his tiny maid carrying his enormous kit bag. But Handbag observed something even more shocking. A young Singaporean guy, walking behind his girl friend who had a tiny backpack on, weighing may be ½ a kg. And the future NS man was supporting the enormous weight of his GF’s pack! He must have been desperate for a shag summizes Handbag. But let’s get our gentleman hasher in, who supports his Singaporean wife through each and every run - on in Ditch for a D.D.D.D…..
PoTW? He’s found a new best friend? Still MIA.