After which it’s past time for Mystery Whip, tonight Ditch wants to credit Maskerbator with swift dedication to duty but confuses him with Malfunktion as he wants to make a play on words – the malfuction being the valve to the beer keg, which our excellent man has replaced in record time. “Here’s to the beer Hero, he’s true blue…”
And now on to the run, where Posh Pussy & Awesome 4- some were heard screaming “You gotta lift your leg up higher to get it up…” Here’s to easy spreaders …” Finally a D-D for a lazy co-hare who couldn’t be bothered to do the recce…Bibrator … but then “one hare drinks, ALL hares drink…”
Now, says GM to Prick Me, what’s next? No POTW, it’s done a runner again, so it must be TOTW! Into the Circle comes a diminutive Mother Mary with the robe of office which she got two weeks ago, and has been trying ever since to think of someone deserving. Tonight she was able no nominate a reckless Englishman for driving the wrong way up a one-way road…Sir Long & Thin… “Here’s to the English, they’re true blue …” [If we’re not, no-one is-Ed] SLT receives the award with dignity and says “I shall be pleased to wear this at the Shangri-La next week!” There will be a farewell party on 16th June concurrently with a Kampong Hash. For SLT, not DT.
Mystery Whip, in the person of Count Dracula, picks up the theme of the Trump-Kim summit, calling in Puul Toy, Awesome Foursome and Strapless. Mr Kim has a reputation for wanting others to pick up his travel bills, which are not economy class. Will the Americans pay or the host country? Straplessis heard to sing sotto voce…”Count-on-me, Singapore, count on me Singapore…”
AOB and Voting B* is straining at the leash to get in a Public Service announcement – the chairperson of the D&D Committee needs hashers to volunteer as members … Stick her Shock, Count Dracula and 8.24 come forward but the rest of the Circle seemed to be in shock…hopefully more will respond soon.
Voting B* had a charge for the locals… along with Chicken S#t, Smell Me & Strapless she avoided the shiggy-thorny-downhill part of the trail then found themselves following paper. Finding the trail a bit longer than anticipated, they realised that the paper was on the wrong side, not the in-trail, they were heading away to more jungle & shiggy. “Follow me, I’m a local…B-I-M-B-O…”
Trolley Dolly, fresh from his performance with the ironing board at the St Georges Day Run, appears with an aggressive looking vacuum cleaner. “I had to pick up someone & give them a lift … then they said my car was s#t and needed a clean-up. “PoKai…” who else ? Seems you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth – unless you’re a Singaporean…”Here’s to the sucker, it’s true blue…”
Awesome 4-somewants to congratulate Deep Throat not only for passing the DT but for buying a new car too – “She’s all right…” and good for a lift, one hopes.
Circle Jerk hauled in two exhibitionist hashers, In & Out and Corny Linguist, bragging about the size of their nuts in front of the stand-in GMs Prick Me. “Mine’s 24…Oh, mine’s 25 at least…” Turns out they were talking about the nuts that hold the rudders on the their transoms…Rich Yachties… ”They ought to be publically…’
Bully calls in Maskerbator and notes they’re both wearing hats… seems they both had laser treatment for their scalps but our local paid $150 and Bully paid $1500…So now we know the meaning of “I’ve been scalped…”
And with that, it’s ON-ON-ON… to the Red Lantern…
Run 1890 Circle Report
8th June 2018
Run Site: Lorong Sesuai
On-on: Red Lantern
Hares: Comes Quietly, Bibrator, Wonton
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 48, of which 37 Members (17 F, 20 M)
Virgins: Not really
Guests & Returnees: 11 (7F,4M)
Next Week’s Hares: 8.24, Spreads Easily, Stick Her Shock, Puul Toy, Miranda & Jeyar
Run Site: 247 Montreal Rd
On-On: On Site
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula
GM Puck Smuggler, after being seriously harried by Pokai finally got the circle into some sort of order by 8.10. Call in the Hares…only two of three could be found, seems Comes Quietly goes as quietly as he comes… so Bibratorand Wonton submitted themselves for inquisition. Too Much: shiggy, jungle, thorns, too long…Not Enough: paper, hills, etc…but after all “GOOD RUN”!! “Here’s to hares, they’re true blue…”
Virgins despite scouring the patch, none could be found so GMs stand-inPrick Me called in the Guests, Girls: Foreplay, Pink Fanny, Romily and Vickie, with Men Miles Murphy, Mungo, Telecum and Wee Willie,and 3 Returnees: Foetus, Shipyard Flasher and Tiger Lily, “Why were they born so...”
Next Week’s Hares the team was represented by Stick her Shock, 8.24 & Puul Toy who gave us the good news that it’s back to our favourite Sembawang haunt and hang-out.
An unruly circle was GM’s next priority, Smell Me, Stash, Sweet Thighs & Suzy Wong were the nattering culprits, suitably told off by Puck Smuggler “They’re really really dumb…” Well not actually dumb, as such, quite the contrary…
Is there a Hare Whip? Yes, in walks Wonton, keen to draw blood but falling back on the family… Stash gets a flyer from Comtessa that claims to give you flights for free… but after queueing they find that “free” actually means only the fare, the extras are $369. So they went home. Next, an offer from Singtel similarly tempts but there’s a huge Saturday queue trying to get to be lucky and in the first 100…so they went home. Nothing daunted, they were at it again Sunday, and history only records whether they succeeded. “Here’s to Singaporeans, they’re true queue…”
Deep Throat gets called in next, for us to be given a warning that she’s passed her driving test, meaning there’s another lady driver on the roads…”She’s all right…”
GM Puck Smuggler starts off with the makings of a shaggy dog story but gets shouted down…”I got home one night this week…[howls from the circle] “Only one night? Where were you the rest of the week?!” “I turned on the wi-fi on my phone…” “What’s wifi?” said a guest, only to be given a D-D and ”He really is so dumb…” and GM gets at last to the point of the story, which is…”and there’s U-Tube with Top Gun II theme which reminds me we have an American who’s not yet been named [despite 8.24 trying twice so far-Ed] so in comes the victim…and by the Circle howl-ometer, Cheeks On Fire wins over TopTurn and Danger Zone. By the powers vested or tee-shirted in him, GM conducts the ceremony. “She’s all right…” agrees the Circle.