And now it’s way past time for the Mystery Whip - After a super long pause, it’s the shy Juicy Pussy. Warming up, she charges Pokaifor enquiring about the size of Cereal Killer’s member. Next it was Puck Smuggler for a charge lost in the noise of a 70+ crowd - nonetheless, he’s the meanest, he...... Next it’s a selfie charge - for deciding to be a real hasher, and not do the long run, but opting for the fake news drinks stop - B.I.M.B.O.... On a roll by now, JP calls in Ayam Zinking and Totally Unacceptable. Claiming to be a single lady who likes beer (this is sounding promising), JP charges them for being too shy to introduce her to the virgin, and avoiding using her hash name. And as Ayam Zinking started to turn 50 shades of red, they ought to be publically....
Claiming the circle back, Puck Smuggler tells us that JP is always impressive, but what about our (his) American President? Stepping in to give away the ToTW Trump T, it’s Airborne seeking candidates. First we need an expert in US affairs? It’s been a pretty normal week in Washington – HR McVirgin is out, porny moustache guy Bolton is in, and the playboy bunnie was paid off. Lookalike for the Stormy porno star, on in dances Pokai. But according to Airborne, Stormy has kept one piece of evidence? On in Trolly Dolly, as the man who likes it tight? And as revealed by Anderson Cooper’s in depth interview of the playboy bunny, Trump didn’t use protection. And so to unanimous approval, he who likes it tight is now the proud custodian of the ToTW.
PoTW – didn’t we just have that? Seems it’s gone MiA and Roonning Sh#t is looking a little bemused.
Moving on, now it’s time for the Mystery, Mystery Whip? Out of the shadows,Stash emerges. Some Singaporeans so blurrr lah. One of our FB friends sends a message to Zuckerberg - typing ‘where’s this week’s run?’, just below the run site directions??? On in Awesome4Some, but we accept the lookalike - Smell Me - B.I.M.B.O.... Next it’s the hill climber, who forgot a pooper scooper for her four legged friend - back in Smell Me as the lookalike for Awesome4Some and her miniature RinTinTin.
Voting Bitch reminds us that our beloved Foetus has decided to return home after many, many years in SG and the Lion City Hash. And the unavoidable song is sung to our friend, with good grace and humour…
Puck Smuggler then makes a politically incorrect reference (I guess most things are on the hash) and calls back Roonning Sh#t, for forgetting he had the Pr#ck. And the crowd chant ‘keep the pr#ck’. Lining up the candidates, RS nominates Puck Smuggler as the ‘Young Man’ - “there’s no need to feel down, I said young man....” Second up is Cherry Picker for congratulating Totally Unacceptable for a birthday, when in fact it is his final run, and finally, Trolly Dolly - just because he likes it tight. And so do the crowd, and as Trolly Dolly tries to tuck it into his shorts, they sing “- he’s the meanest, he...”
AOB? Oh yes there is. It’s Stash with a drinks stop clarification forJuicy Pussy - what f drinks stop? It was just a short n long. You’re not the teacher now - B.I.M.B.O.....
Next is Saliva - there is a new Brexit topic every day. Now it’s about making their own passports. And who will make the new Dutch blue passports? On inIn n Out and Count Dracula –“ they’re the meanest.”
Staying in, In n Out overheard Juicy Pussy to Coo Chi Coo - Oh, I’m theMW and I’m so shy. CCC’s response - that’s ok, just show us your ... “He’s alright, he’s alright, he’s got....”
And now it’sChastity Belt – “When I saw Foetus sucking on a cigar, I knew it was a moment from history”. On in Cunni Lick Her as Bill Clinton, and Foetus as Monica, “here’s to the President and his intern, they’re true blue..”
And finally, the GM’s restore lawful order, and call Totally Unacceptable in, as the Norwegian is headed to live in Houston (get yourself a gun, take the Trump, etc). And 70+ three-quarters- pissed hashers sing our rousing departure song that’s always “Totally Unacceptable…”
And with the crackling ready, it’s on on on at 8:54pm. All the very best to Foetus and Totally Unacceptable, not forgetting thanks for all the T-shirts - and an excellent on on on for all!
Totally Unacceptable’s Farewell Run
Date: Friday 23rd March 2018
Run Site: Seah Im Rd car Park W
On-on: On Site Mr Hoe
Hares: Totally Unacceptable & Prick Me
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 71 of which Members 53 (24F & 29M )
Virgins: Yes, the Roger’d one
Visitors & Returnees: 18 (7 F, 11 M)
New Member: not this week
Milestones: still waiting T-shirts
Next Week’s Hares: Ayam Zinking & Corny Linguist
Run Site: Lorong Sesuai
On-On: Red Lantern
Circle Scribe:Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
And so at 8:02, our eager GM’s call the circle to some form of order (more like chaos). So, what did we think of the run? Totally bloody unacceptable. No pricks. No Labradors. And too much of everything. Attempting to take control,Puck Smuggler leaps to the defence of the hares and declares it a very good run, and despite feigned protestations, we all agree and so here’s to the hares, they’re true blue......
Directions for your onon? Follow your nose to Mr. Hoe’s smoking pork, all for the very lean contribution of $10, plus loads of cold cans. Now that’s Totally Acceptable, and he’s welcome back any time!
Next weeks hares? It’s the Ayam Zinking marriage run, at Lorong Sesuai, with Corny Linguist officiating as a hare also? (Or is he carrying the shotgun?). Apparently there is a German tradition about notice of objections? Cherry Picker tries to explain from the sidelines, but just like Ayam Z, it’s all lost in translation. Anyway, standby for a drinks stop, short circle, Crock of Sh#t guest appearance with his guitar, and a wedding reception at the Red Lantern. It should be an entertaining evening for all!
Next it’s the Virgins- but only one stepped forward - Roger (this guy was a dead ringer for HR McMaster). Who made you come? Ayam Zinking was the reply. Will you come next week - yes for sure. Is it a gay marriage? He’s alright, he’s alright he’s got a tiny weenie.....
On in the guests, and Maskerbator and Suzee Wong were working in overdrive. Gals: Big Head, Comes First, Dominator, Everybody’s Port, Tiger Lily and Yuki. Guys: Butt Wiper, Chong, Cunni Lick Her, Irish Spring, HR McRoger, Sperm Off Ice, Teeny Weeny Willy, Telecum, Tore, Wee Willy and Windy Bar. A total of 18 guests, and another 53 hashers singing here’s to the guests, they’re true blue, they are bst*ds, thru and thru...
Voting Bitch calls back Ayam Z - there’s a very excited Wirgin amongst us. Is it Ayam’s pre wedding nerves, or more likely his pre- buck’s night nerves. And for some bawdy entertainment, on in Stick Her Shock with a little dance routine that involved lots of shaking and bouncing. And the song to end the charge? Madonna’s “like a virgin, touched for the very first time.....”
Now for a hare whip? Abdicating his responsibilities, Totally Unacceptable defers to Pr#ck Me, who tries to tell us T A is the shy one? B/s, b/s, it all sounds like b/s to me, to me.... Pressing on, Pr#ck Me portrays the Norwegian one as the generous kind - he has organised Mr. Hoe for $10, thrown in a polo FoC, etc. But he really is just an old fart who started hashing in 1994. Do we have any other old farts from the class of ‘94? On in Coo Chi Coo, Running Sh#t, Stash, Astronut, Bully and Strapless. Here’s to the old farts, they’re true blue....
Next it’s Voting Bitch with public service announcements - We need a hare for April 6 plzzzzz. Cunni Lick Her offers a tentative may be, that is immediately turned into a resounding yes - here’s to the hare.... AGM on 21st April - we need a new committee, so don’t be shy and put your hands up and support your club (despite calls for the GM’s to follow the lead of China’s Xi Jinping and sign on for life). And don’t forget our first aid course tomorrow, for your hangover cures…