Moving quickly onwards, enter the Mystery-Mystery Whip, Astronut. He’s received a message from the far North which he wants the Hares to hear: “Today is Saint Andrew’s Day which marks the feast of Saint Andrew. The celebration as a festival in Scotland (and other nations) is thought to originate from the reign of Malcolm III who lived in 11th century Britain. A descendant of Malcom III, in the form of Malcolm Smith (aka Malfunktion) was sent to LCH3 some years ago to ensure this tradition is upheld. Mal sends his greetings and well wishes and has tasked me with giving his deputies here, the hares, a drink to their and hashers’ continued health and happiness as long as they celebrate Saint Andrew’s Day. Here’s to St Andrew’s hares…” Get it D-D-D-D.


Next under the whip are the cripples, two folks who managed to stagger around after everyone else (along with Astronut) Ahluetta &. Coochi Coo. “They ought to be…”

M2Whipwants to know: What’s the difference between a Scottish sheep farmer and a Rolling Stones song? One says, ”Hey you, get off of my cloud”, and the other says, “Hey McCloud get off of my ewe!” Did you know Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common? They’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips!


“We have a long-stay guest tonight,” the GM informs. “Buzz Lightyear has stacked up 35 runs in his 3-month visit to SG, 12 with LCHHH!” …”Get a life get a life get a life-life-life & drink it D-D-D-D. And then eff off .


AOB#1 is a grumble from PoKai about too much walking around as Hash Brew combined with an oblique reminder that the Inter-Chapter Quad Hash is tomorrow, 1st December.


AOB #2 is from Handbag, who’s got out his calculator and computed that the combined age of the hares is 280 years. This is more due to being pickled in Scotch than rude good health, one suspects, but: “Here’s to the old men, they’re true blue.”


AOB#3 has Trolley Dolly exercising his favourite fetish – girls in kilts.. On in Prick Me, Voting B*, Sweet Thighs & Smell Me. Not a sporran to be seen anywhere.


AOB#4 from Astronut who’s had it revealed that David (Grant aka Wee Willie) and his family decided to call their Scottish father-in-law “The Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.


Final AOB is from Comes Quietly who’s been digging in the archives for some Scottish trivia, and found that amongst the places where Scots have migrated are China and the mountains of North America - seems that hillbillies are mostly descended from the haggis eaters. Though that’s one invention they seem to have been happy to leave behind, keeping moonshine but leaving the haggis for unsuspecting sassenachs.


“And with that…WE ARE ON-ON-ON!” cries Puck Smuggler.

Good run, even if the end was a bit mysterious, nice T-shirt and a lively circle, a worthy commemoration of St Andrew’s Day, well done hares.

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Run 1915
St. Andrew's run

Run 1915 Circle Report

Friday 30 Nov 2018

Run Site: Blackmore Drive

Hares: All the Scots: Bagless,

Corny Linguist, Dog S#t & Shoeless.

On-on: Red Lantern


Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 53 of which 45 Members (22 F, 23 M)

Virgins:                                   Nil

Guests & Returnees:                 8 (3F, 5 M)

Next Week’s Hares: Handbag & Tina Tuna

Run Site: Pasir Ris Park – Car Park F

On-On: Not the Red Lantern, George’s @ the Cove


Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula

ECO-FRIENDLY LCHHH Do away with disposable plastics. GMs Puck Me Lately wants LCHHH to set an example and cut their use. Reminder: BYO mug or bottle warmer and help to cut the trash.


A goodly crowd circled up at 8.00pm-ish to hear GM call in the hares – there were a lot of them but the IQ factor was a bit low. “Where the hell did the run go?!!” he asked. No answer to that, it seemed the hares were not clear on this. “Never mind,” said GM “it’s a good T-shirt so let’s have a note… Here’s to Hares…” Where’s your on-on? “Funky Seafood at you know where, $13 each.” Stick her Shock kindly agreed to help the impoverished by subsidising the cost down to $12 a head. Or so ‘t was said…


Locum GMs Prick Me called in the Guests, who were: Ahluetta, Buzz Lightyear, Just F#king Lost, Morgan, Web Fart &. Returnees: Shipyard Flasher, Sinderella (after a long break) Wee Willy Welcome back!


Next Week’s Hare: Handbag outlined his plans for another Pasir Ris run with on-on at Georges. On in Hare Whip #1, Bagless,he wanted a look-alike for Bagless 2, Corny Linguist did duty, the story was that B2 had been arrested for terrorism, espionage (“I’m not very good at it,” said the stand-in) & trying to overthrow a government. But “They’re all right…” Next, co-hare Shoeless is charged with spatial cluelessness, due to meet up with Bagless he turned up in the wrong place, which perhaps explained tonight’s trail…”Oh ye’ll tak’ the high road & I’ll tak’ the low road…”


Another D-D and then it’s time for the Mystery Whip, or whippet in this case as a diminutive Awesome Foursome appears in the Circle. She repeats a conversation with GM as follows:

GM: “Hey, hi, why don’t you reply to my messages?”

A-4 “You’re sending to a wrong person!”


A-4’s next charge has Circle Jerk, Just F#ing Lost, Stash, Wee Willy and Ayam Zinking called in. She has not so much a shaggy dog as a shaggy zoo story. She skilfully weaves the tale around the challenges she met along the trail, where she was variously encouraged, distracted or advised by a wolf, an elephant, a horse, a tortoise and a monkey. Of course the Circle has to guess who is which, they’re not very good at it so A-4some has to explain, which she does to great hilarity from the Circle. “Here’s to the animals…”

Last charge from the white wine drinker is on In & Out, who’s appeared with a glove on his left hand…”Here’s to the prosthetic w*nker…”


GMs Prick Me calls for the POTW and Comes Quietlyduly obliges…”This Hash is far too complicated,” he says. “We should combine TOTW with the Prick… after all, Donald is it… TOTW is dead. Long live the Prick”. But who’s to get it this week? Who was the first to find the first T-check? Was it Butt Wiper, Puck Smuggler, or Buzz Lightyear? The shout-o-meter says Butt Wiper (welcome back )




Run 1915 pictures