Before we have the MMW, Dracula, on behalf of LCHHH, wishes Wan, our beer boy, all the best and presents him with an angpow as it is Chinese New Year.
Tonight’s run also sees a few hashers who need a life as they are hitting their milestones. PS calls inTrolley Dolley for his 50th Run, PS (our GM) for his 100th Run and Hoo Ray 1500th for short-cutting all these years. Off off off, get a life, get a life!
8:24 is in as our Mystery Mystery Whip. In he calls Running S* for a re-enactment of what happened during the run when they were at the steep slope with lots of plants. 8:24 was behind of Running S* and there was a hasher in front of them who was going berserk and hysterical about pulling and holding on to the plants and killing them. ‘I am sorry poor plants, I am sorry…’ In comes Coo Chi Coo for that melodrama. Seeing his damsel in distress was Running S* who responded to his beau by saying CCC be careful what you might be pulling, you might be pulling a tree or my willy! As the conversation was going on, 8:24 was tumbling as well and he then instinctively held on to something hard… but not that hard as it immediately turned to something marshy and that was Running S*. The next one in the circle are the FRBs of PS, Tiger Lily and Cereal Killer. In one of the steep slopes where people were slogging up in a single file as though it was Mt Everest and what did the FRBs shout right in front? T-check! They were the absolutely ‘meanest, they *%^# horses…’ 8:24 is not done and calls in Puul Toy, Stick Her Socks, Cheeks on Fire and Poser. To 8:24, some of these people are tired of CNY and they want to take on some Caucasian traits by coloring their hair. Another two went to the toilet nearby and got lost. And the last two came to a 5KM run managed 3KM and got lost. Here’s to the blind and lost souls they true blue…
Voting B* calls in the P#@*& of the Week but to no avail. Someone is enjoying it at home! Thus, she comes out with a charge calling in the richest man of the world Jeff Bezos look-alike Miles who is embroiled in a media scuffle with David Pecker of the Enquirer. David Pecker called his action to send Bezos’ mistress raunchy photos of him and his new found love, Sanchez, as not blackmail. So probably Jeff Bezos must have a very big one to share on the internet for allowing such a thing to happen to him. To that ‘he is the meanest…’
Next Week’s hare In & Out announces that the run will be at North Bouna Vista Road car park. He reiterates the recent changes in Holland V might confuse people and it would be advisable to get there early.
Returnee Ad Nausean saunters in and tells everyone that he means business. He is here to apologise to a hasher and he wants to do it the right way. ‘Many many years ago I was very bad to this person and I have to come back to Singapore to apologise to this person. So the story goes, this guy was in the run and I was in the run too and unfortunately I couldn’t see as I didn’t have my glasses. So the guy made a comment that night and got into big big trouble. And tonight I met the gentleman again and he came up to me Ad Nausean you know that the last one you got me into big big shit. I told you the truth. I said I know. I know you told me the truth. And he said it has gotten worse now, he said Ad Nausean you don’t need glasses. I said why. All the girls are ugly anyway. And tonight he told me: “Jim, they are not only ugly, their tits have dropped.” CCC come into the circle.’ What a big f$#*ing surprise. He ought to publicly …
Strapless says he is being charged for wearing blue and why not look at the GM. Strapless says that is not a CNY shirt too. Drink it down down…
Circle Jerk claims that some people come to Singapore to see the sites and he calls in Big Head, Posh Pussy and the virgins into the circle. He then asks our Japanese guest what’s his hash name, to which he replies ‘All up Your Asshole’! And these people who visit Singapore some of them must have taken some special photographs this evening. Halfway down the run as everyone was going down the slope, AUYA was in the middle of nowhere watching the view, took out his camera and took a picture. Here’s the spy and he is true blue…
Trolley Dolley enters the circle and complains that tonight’s circle is a big one and is pretty hard to hear what’s happening. He mentions the Asian ladies such as Eleven is hard for one to hear. Then he calls in Dead Fish and Handbag for talking and making noise. But when he stands in that side of the circle, there is one voice he can hear from the other side amidst all the exchanges. That is the voice of Pokai! To these circle communicators a note! ‘They alright, they alright…’
Next, Posh Pussy brings her business into the circle by charging PS and Cereal Killer for hurting themselves during the run and reason being they were not focusing on the run but rather on the asses and beautiful faces in front of them.
Stash calls in Chicken S* as being one of the hares who was guilty of guiding the FRBs in Toh Tuck road when they were a bit confused. This was a no no as many of the packs about 40 of them were still behind running to catch up (and it was their opportunity to catch up) and Chicken S* told them where to go because they had set the in trail too close to the out trail.
With that last charge, it was onwards to ON ON!
Run 1925 Circle Report
Friday 8 Feb 2019
Chinese New Year’s run
Run Site: Bukit Batok Nature car park
Hares: Strapless, Chicken S*, Four Sores
and the Chinese
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 76 of which 51 Members (21 F, 27 M)
Virgins: Valerie and Maud
Guests & Returnees: 25 (15F, 10M)
Circle Report: Durian Dog
Why do the Chinese always have to set the CNY Run? Is it because they are Chinese? I am afraid so and more importantly, to have Chinese setting a run during this festive period would ensure that all is safe and well; it is bad luck for one to be hurt during these 15 days of celebration. Thus, true to the CNY spirit of fun, safety and joyfulness, Strapless, Chicken S* and Four Sores announce that the Year of the Pig’s Run is 5 KM thereabouts, as it is important that everyone comes back early before darkness descends.
With an early return by everyone, Puck Smuggler and stand-in Grand Mistress, Voting B#, welcome all to the circle at 8 sharp. It is a big circle. PS is having trouble shutting everyone up in order for himself to be heard. It is run #1925 and WDWTOTRun? Too short… too long… no prosecco… no champagne… all the false promises at drink stop… Nevertheless, to PS, the jungle tracks are good hence it is a GOOD RUN. For on on, it is the usual far far away Red Lantern for a price of $12 with special menu of yu sheng, curry fish head, noodles and free beer – heavily subsidised by the Chinese.
Virgins, we love you! ‘We have two lady virgins!’ Yes, Valery and Maud! How are they invited to the run? To this PS says, completely lie to them and tell them nothing about the run but just the drinks, the stroll and a bit of dirty shoes. Would they come back to do it again? Yes, they would! And ‘here’s to virgins they true blue…’
As CNY is also a time of reunion, after welcoming the virgins, we welcome returnees and guests. 23 of them all plus a dog! And special mentions go to new member Cheeks On Fire and one of the guests who flew all the way from Budapest, checked into the hotel and rushed here on by her own! ‘She’s alright, she’s alright…’
Voting B# calls in the hares to execute their whip! But no one comes forward… it is probably the CNY and all Chinese have buried their hatchets and have nothing against one another. All love comes to an end though when Pokai steps into the circle and her first charge goes to Chicken S* for the last minute appointment of Pokai as the hare whip despite her busy schedule as a hash brew. Chicken S* tells her to ‘go lah, you go lah’ so this last minute-dot-com-dot-sg appointment makes her feel that Chicken S* deserves to be her first charge. Her second charge bafalls onWonton, her co-hare. A few weeks ago when they were in Blackmore and were having a discourse on whether to have sleeves or no sleeves for CNY shirt. To that Wonton told Pokai to give her a cotton sleeveless T-shirt, but to Pokai’s consternation this evening, Wonton is wearing a cotton with sleeves. Obviously, Wonton has taken the sleeveless home, put them on, only to realise that her cutting at the under arm was too big and she has this thing about bras and sleeveless. So she called Pokai in the middle of the night lamenting about the situation and insisted that she should have a cotton with sleeves. B.I.M.B.O.
PS in his fury and excitement volunteers to be the hare whip by charging Strapless. ‘What is the CNY colour? I don’t know, I am from American.’ Caught with a blue T-shirt, Strapless is given a ‘down down’.
Now it’s time for the Mystery Whip! In comes Ayam Zinking who charges the GM, PS, who asked AZ to be theMystery Whip two weeks ago. AZ asked him whether he was sure and PS said he was. ‘Perhaps I am at the bottom of the list of MW and you have looked the wrong way round. To that PS said to me, no way you are next. After serving my MW duty, two weeks later, PS came to me and said that I would be MW again. Don’t you all think that he has looked at the list upside down? And hence, I am here again… Give him a beer!’ AZ’s second charge is launched at the virgins Valerie and Maud. During the run, he went under the tree and there were lots of ants and some clawed to his neck. As he was removing the ants from his neck, Windy Bar who was approaching asked him whether he was comfortable because he was COMING! To this sexual fiend and predator, he’s true blue. And another sexual fiend in the form of Handbag too is charge for staring at the virgins after offering his water to them for shower. Here’s to the dirty old man who ought to be publicly pissed off… Lastly a charge is made on Ladyboy which only he can make sense of and the rest of us requiring German-English translation.