MMW? After a few falsies and re-fills, its Comes Quietly left standing in the middle. And he calls back the GM, for starting the f off song, just as the LTA went past. So if you get a ticket, blame him. Next it’s Posh Pussy, for first ignoring a lorry, then a speeding Honda whilst on the run tonight – No Rection? And tonight we also had a long term hasher, who following tradition, took the low road, whilst the rest of us followed paper on the upper road. Yet Strapless was calling “on°on”, whilst Posh Pussy was pretending to take photo’s. And the GM says, let’s get all the short cutters in – Astronut, Chicken Sh#t and Comes Quietly in his Osama bin beanie - here’s to the fakers, they’re true blue…..
Is there, Any, Other, Business? Handbag is in, calling back Rooning Sh#t and his brother. What’s your father like? On in son Shaun – here’s to the wig family, they’re true blue….
Cherry Picker calls for the hares, especially the one responsible for the arrows. Now according to CP, normally arrows are either straight ahead, or 90 degrees left or right. But tonight, every arrow was slightly left, slightly right, or slightly bent? They’re the meanest, they…….
Astronut calls out Cherry Picker for a false charge. Not only were the arrows messed up, they forgot about T checks, so let’s get the hares back in for some more practice.
Coo Chi Coo calls in Rooning Sh#t’s brother, for wearing his Aussie shirt – beastiality’s best, boys….
Pr#ck Me is reminiscing how she got involved in the hash – it was 2.5yrs ago, when In n Out (look a like 8:24) sent out a message re the LCH3 DnD on a sailing chat group. Do you have to be a hasher asked our then virgin. Of course not says In n Out so along she went, where our GM met Smell Me – you just have come and hash with us. And so it was at a CNY run where Pr#ck Me met Voting Bitch. And as it poured down, they took cover in some strangers garage with Stick Her Shock. And what happens in the garage, stays in the garage (and the strange man still has a smile on his face). They’re alright, they’re alright, they’re a little…… And Chastity Belt says – that’s not a sailor’s mug – try this one and its D.D.D.D…….
Rooning Sh#t is in. It’s been a busy news week, with Trump going into over drive, making lots of noise on twitter. So on in Butt Wiper. I wish you had made some noise on the trail today, instead of breaking checks and quietly running on – he’s the meanest….. But Chastity Belt has a correction. I was at the front today, as we approached home (b/s, b/s…) and all you wankers were behind me, including Butt Wiper, who, as I decelerated, whispered on on.
Which reminds Stash, who calls in Durian Dog. At the first back check today, Durian Dog called on on up the hill, but gets to the top, and peering over the fence like a dog. Did he keep calling – no. But there just 10M on the other side was the paper – here’s to the dog whisperer, he’s true blue….
Cunni Lick Her is in and calls in the laziest person on earth – Awesomefoursome. Who’s car is that, and where do you live? – Just 2mins walk over there? She’s the meanest….
Handbag is in to contradict CLH. I saw Awesomefoursome actually running tonight – up a hill. But then she got all self conscious and she stopped – why? Coz everyone including Handbag were looking at her ass. She’s alright, she’s alright, she got a tiny weenie ass, but she’s alright…
Astronut to Strapless – you see, AS4S runs up hills, that’s how she has tight buns. Here’s to the horny old bstds, they’re true blue….
Cherry Picker calls in Fake Virgin. We were all running, but Fake Virgin was walking, whilstAS4S followed Strapless on a shortcut and ended up in front. Cherry Picker to Fake Virgin – beaten by an auntie…
8:24 calls in Coo Chi Coo. B4 the run tonight, as CCC was changing at his car, with his back to the street, he drops his pants, and a local man walking past does a double take. And CCC says, yes, it hangs to my ankles you know. But as he turns around, the local points and laughs – b/s, b/s……
Butt Wiper calls in the Sunday Hashers, who planned to forsake the run for a U2 concert, but then it got cancelled. Here’s to Cherry Picker, he’s true blue….
And Chastity Belt comments on Pr#ck Me’s f me shoes, bra and knickers – apparently she won’t need them in Kiwi land. And so for good measure, it’s that song again – f off…..
And so at 8:49pm, Pr#ck Me calls on on on for the final time. Great run hares, excellent circle GM’s, and thanks and all the best to Pr#ck Me.
Hares: Count Dracula, Too Good, Bagless and Chilli Balls
On-on: KEK Seafood
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50 of which 44 Members (20F, 24M)
Virgins: Yes – Shaun
Guests/Returnee: Dumpling, Cunni Lick Her, Shaun, Steve, Sarah and Sweet Tongue
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8pm and here we are again on a Friday night, in a car park and primed up. Chastity Belt and Pr#ck Me are (trying) to run the show. Hares? MIA? Still out collecting NParks paper? What paper says someone. And a very thoughtful BMW driver decides now would be a good time to drive through our circle (I hope that wasn’t Astronut coz I’m sitting in his super deluxe chair!). And Chastity Belt asks; how many hares does it take to set a run? Apparently 4. And CB starts doing the mental arithmetic, dividing the number of members by 4, times the number of runs per annum, by the square root of God knows what and it seems we’ll all be setting lots of runs at this rate! But, WDWTOTRun? Not enough paper, average, not enough steps. If it’s not a bad run, it must be a Good Run – Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue…… On on? KEK Seafood for your Michelin hats. 5 mins in that general direction, $12 includes a pineapple???
Virgins? Yes we have Shaun, who was apparently found on a curb and didn’t leave the carpark – he’s alright, he’s alright…. Will you come again? Only if you give me another down down. Give him one and send him off to Vancouver.
Guests and Returnees? On in Dumpling, Cunni Lick Her, Shaun, Steve, Sarah and Sweet Tongue. Here’s to them, they’re true blue….
Next week’s hares? Cherry Picker, Roo Rooter and Fake Virgin (good luck to him). Lorong Lada Hitam and bring a torch?
Do we have a Hare Whip? Bagless and Count Dracula seem like they can’t decide, and after some mutterings in a strange dialect followed by – speak English, they retire. Chastity Belt was having none of that – all hares in, (and another very considerate Singaporean decides to drive their Merc through the circle). And the charge is for arranging for the entire car park lights to be on, except where the circle is! Here’s to the hares, they’re true blue… Chilli Balls takes over for the hares, and asks, what were you doing at 5am this mrn? Apparently Bagless woke her up at the unGodly hour – we didn’t do it y’day, we must do it in the dark! So off they set at 6am, arriving at 6:30am with a long plank? As it was getting darker and threatening to rain for the first time in over a month. And sure enough at 6:45am the heavens opened. And the morale of the story – if you’re going to do something at 5am in the dark, best to stay in bed! Let’s give the plonker a note – He ought to be publicly…..
Which reminds the aging Chastity Belt – never pass a toilet without using it, never trust a fart, and if you have a plank at 5am, use it!
Pr#ck Me calls for the Mystery Whip? Is it the LTA? It’s no good – no, I mean, it really is No Good. And it’s on in Coo Chi Coo for the double crime of having his picture in last week’s newsletter, surrounded by empty jugs, flat on his back, passed out, and also for representing the Monday hashers who didn’t pick up their paper – give him a double down, down, down, down. And yesterday was the last day of the hungry ghost month – everyone now happy (except the ghosts?). In fact some of us were so superstitious we didn’t come (to the hash) for the whole month? On in Fake Virgin and Posh Pussy – here’s to the ghost busters, they’re true blue…
Pr#ck Me has a milestone. It’s the Dominator for 300 runs. Chastity Belt tries some more mental arithmetic – 25years for 300 runs, that’s….. And as some call for off, off, off, even Bully says their dreaming. Why was she born so……..
Pr#ck Me has a PSA – in 2 weeks we have our Bring a Friend run. And if you don’t have one, bring the maid. Hare Fawlty Towers tells us it’s a fully NParks approved run, with a long or short, friend friendly run, with Mr. Hoe on site – end of Chestnut Avenue.
Chastity Belt informs us that it is Pr#ck Me’s final hash, and so presents her with a memento for Kiwi land – a pic of her in full flight in the circle. And so it has to be – the dreadful song again – f off……
CB calls in the Sh#t family brothers – who is the younger one, which one won the back yard fights, which one was always behind? Of course it was Rooning Sh#t, but turns out it’s just an excuse so he can short cut on the hash. He ought to be publicly……