And now it’s time for the Mystery Whip … on in Stash, who’s in good form with a charge for missing Hash Brew about the explosive beer. Seems our supplier has either lost control of the CO2 machine or is developing gas operated molotov cocktails. Stash has decided to give out Blur Awards and his first is to FR Comes Quietly for late starts, next, wannabe FRs Circle Jerk and Coo Chi Coo. Next award is for the hasher who went round calling “Where’s my wife?” so Ditch gets the hen-pecked husband award. Finally Stash claimed to have been seduced on the run… but already pre-selected by the absent Puck Smuggler so did not need the honeyed words of Rooning S#t to fulfil his duty. Never mind… ”Here’s to seducers, they’re true blue...”
Now it’s around Mystery Mystery Whip time (who invented this stuff?) and not being backward in coming forward is Voting B* with this week’s reminder that the BIG EVENT of 2018 Hashywood D&D on the 10th of November is at the Republic of Singapore Yacht Club, and that early bird tickets are on sale NOW. Grab the opportunity, Pays to Cum already has, so don’t be late… pay up now, mate!
Dead Fish interrupts at this point and Voting B* is shocked into silence… seems Pays to Cum went to the Harriets Run and needed a pair of socks, but hash haberdash only had ladies socks. Never mind, says P2C. Is this guy a cross-dresser or what?
But Voting B* won’t be deflected from her objective, and this is to find a hash name for her Dad Walter…”He’s my Dad and Lion City is his Mother Hash – he just needs a name…” The Circle is not wanting for ideas and soon we shout round from Heisenberg (too uncertain) to Breakin’ Dad, Breakin’ Wind and finally to Breakin’ Back which is for once-and-forall attached to Walter Payfer, duly consummated by GMs PML. Welcome, Breakin’ Back!
Now we’re looking forTOTW and this week’s inspiration is the Kavanagh charade going on in the USA where yet another Trump nominee is shown up as definitely not the kind of man one would like to see in a position of authority. So who’s the unfortunate US Citizen look-alike? Not Stash but Ditch “I’m innocent…”he cries, but the shirt is his for a while.
At this point Some Bitchy C*nt lives up to her name and bursts into a Trump song which she has promised to upload to our Facebook site. I don’t know what Mr Zuckenberg will make of it.
In the moment of silence Voting B* grabs the opportunity to warn the circle she’ll be away for 3 Fridays so if Roo Rooter appears with a friend in tow who he says is “A new colleague from the office…” you’ll know it’s BS.
Now we’re into AOB and Strapless calls in PML asking about the stringy loop dangling down behind, some kind of . P2C has one too, there’s one problem & that’s they are the wrong way round. “Here’s to strung together, they’re true blue”.
AOB from Trolley Dolly, who was asked to do Mystery Whip by a confused, last-minute stand-in GM. Between Puck Smuggler and Rooning S#t it seems we got 3 Mystery Whips, so a remote B-I-M-B-O. TD’s all fired up to go, and remembering the Mother Hash Anniversary Celebrations. Come on in Puul Toy, Stick her Shock, Eleven, Circle Jerk – who were the hashers that never went to bed that night? And who was the picky hasher who couldn’t eat unless he got his fish & chips? And spent hours going on about it? Come on in Rooning S#t and call On-On-ON!
But before you do, save a last word for Singapore Hash House Harriets whose 45th Anniversary Run is on 13th October. Sign up to support these good ladies – see the Interhash section below!
And after a short pause, at around 8.45pm,the GM did exactly that.
Run 1906 - Circle Report
28th Sept, 2018 – The Sotong Run
Run Site: Bt Merah Lane 3 Car Park
Hares: Blur like Sotong, Chicken S#t & Strapless
On-on: KEK Seafood
Total Run: 53, of which 40 Members (19 F, 21 M)
Guests & Returnees: 13 ( 3F & 10M)
Milestones: Not tonight
Circle Scribe: Airborne Photos: Count Dracula
After a hot and sticky day with an equally humid evening, a longish run with unexpected twists & turns, many runners lay around shirtless and when circle time arrived stand-in GM Running S#t and his attractive lady accomplicePuck Me Lately had to work hard to get some action going. WDWTOTR? A rare “Too many checks!” was good news for non-FRBs so there was little disagreement with GOOD RUN. So “Here’s to hares, they’re true blue…” and a D-D for Blur like Sotong, Chicken S#t & Strapless.Well done folks, and your on-on’s at KEK Seafood.
One rather butch virgin Melvin had been made to come by Ray, aka Lady Boy, slumming from the Monday Hash. A nice lot of guests & returnees filled the circle: Girl Guests Fatty & Sweaty, Lethal Weapon & Sum Bitchy C*nt, who has an enviable repertoire of saucy songs. Men: Buzz Lightyear, Chong, Dead Fish, Lincoln, Ray, , Walter & Wet Taco. Hello & welcome, where have you all come from? All were questioned as if by the ICA and dutifully reported name and Country Of Origin. Here’s to visitors, they’re true blue…”
The Returnees this week were old friends, King Leer, & Shiggy Piggy very pleased to see you again “Here’s to Returnees…”
Next Week’s hares came together to promote the annual Coo Chi Coorun from the Peak of Pepys Road (or just below it) with the birthday boy & his manager No Good offering free flow of drinks and use of the swimming pool… and if the weather’s the same as this night, there’ll be many takers of both.
Is there a Hare Whip?Yes, in comes Blur like Sotong, and he’s determined to make everyone else blur (or blurred) too. From his little goody bag comes not moon cakes, but spectacles, the ones with one red eye and the other green, for watching 3D movies (without Virtual Reality). He hands them round the circle, and for sure we all experienced an oddly coloured and impressionistic view of Bukit Merah Lane 3 … some of us a little disappointed at the lack of a 3D saucy movie to go with the specs…”here’s to blurring, it’s true blue…”
At this pointPML has a complaint, she likes to be a front runner but this week she kept finding herself behind the hare – why is he always in front? The circle, remorseless as usual, decided the charge rebounded and B-I-M-B-O was appropriate.
With POTW comes a tale of embarrassment from No Good, who gave her lady friends from the Sunday School a lift, forgetting that the proud priapus was on the back seat of her car…She called in the hares, all 3 of them, with a complaint that each had a different chalk arrow style which made it hard to know if you were on the right run. Chicken S#t drew small, neat arrows, Blur like Sotong drew large, self-confident ones and Straplesswobbly chalk marks somewhere in between. Which gave the most problems? Sorry CS, but you get the consolation of a week’s free use of the POTW!