Mystery Whip? It must be 8:24? And he calls in Puck Me Lately for her Valentines Day serenade? What’s the difference between a calendar and PML on Valentine’s Day? The calendar has a date! Next 8:24 relays a conversation he overheard between Chicken Sh#t and Strapless, after they had been to the doctor. CS to the doctor – my husband has lost interest in the bedroom. Doctor – have you considered viagra?CS – considered yes, but he won’t take. Doctor, just crush it up like an aspirin and put it in his coffee. On her next visit, the doctor asks, so how did it go? CS – well I did as you suggested and he immediately ripped my clothes off and we made glorious love, right there on the coffee table! That’s wonderful said the doctor, I’m glad I could help. Yes, says CS, but we can’t go back to that Starbucks! Patient no. 2 – Circle Jerk visits the doctor for a check up. And being concerned about coronavirus, the doctor calls in his assistant nurse in her low cut lab coat. You know, he says to CJ, the coronavirus can particularly affect men – so we should get my nurse assistant here to check your prostate. And as the nurse eagerly begins the procedure, the doctor says: “but I must warn you, sometimes this procedure can cause an erection.” “That’s ok,” says CJ, “I’m a happily married man, I haven’t got an erection.” And the nurse says: “but I have!”
Voting B#tch is in with a not so Valentine’s Day story. Roo Rooter is in Aus, and anyway he’s not very big on Valentine’s Day. On in Croc O’Sh#t as the look a like. And what day is it anyway he asks? B.I.M.B.O….
Milestone? It’s Wankie Pooh, and apparently it’s a big one – as the bride said to the groom on her wedding night! - And she sportingly swaps shirts to the not so sporting tune of – she’s alright, she’ alright….
Ditch has a premature AoB – B.I.M.B.O….
About now, all our Asian newbies had decided to sit down en masse, legs crossed, listening attentively. But our GM has to inform them that LCH3 hashers don’t sit in the circle. And they all very obediently stand for our GM – pls sign them all up.
MMW? It the new member – the German Ducati man who calls in Croc O’Sh#t for avoiding a T check to try and be a FRB, only to be outdone by the very shortcuttingDitch. He’s the meanest….. Which reminds Chastity Belt about the markings tonight – were they hearts or asses? But according to our professor in Valentine’s Day hieroglyphics, it’s an ass, so let’s get our virgins in.
PoTW? Strapless has it – how long do you want to keep it? But wearing his 15km medal, Strapless tells us about his Valentine’s Day lunch with Chicken Sh#t. Should I get some flowers to give away with the PoTW tonight he asks? No way, don’t waste your money, they will be so happy just to receive the Pr#ck! So Strapless invites all the eligible gals in – Awesome4some, Puck Me Lately, Tight Lips, Spread Easily, Tiger Lily and Iron Crotch (andDurian Dog says – but she’s been secretly seeing me!) Ok, so let’s have a vote? And the young deserving one get the Valentine’s Day award. PML has a date after-all. She’s alright, she’s alright…..
Wonton, on behalf of all the ladies, thanks the hares for the roses. And then calls in the cheap bstds, who got a free rose from the hares then pretended to give to their wives as if it was their idea. On in Strapless, Sperm Off Ice, Chastity Belt, Circle Jerk, Cherry Picker, and finally Stash, who only brought Wonton to the hash for the chicken rice – here’s to the cheapo’s, they’re true blue….
VB announces the holy trilogy of hash weekend – Friday, Kampong and the Sunday hash wedding – what a weekend for all
Croc O’Sh#t is in to tell us what a special moment Valentine’s Day is and that he understands the romanticism as he is really French? So let’s get some more Frenchie’s in – Bernd and his lovely French daughter, Moneet – the turbine wearing Frenchman. And Penny – our new member, who on her first run, tried by pay sub via PayLah! And so naming time it is, and Voting B#tch has her on her knees on someone else’s flipflops – by the power infested…….. Welcome, Penny PahLah!
Now, it’s way past time for AoB – Ditch hasn’t forgotten at all, but calls the big crowd in close – don’t worry about transmitting the corona, we’re all friends here! And now he has our attention, he reminds us of the upcoming LCH3 2,000th run – Orchidville and it’s D.D.D.D for him.
Awesome4some calls in Puck Me Lately. Talking after the run to our youngest member, AS4S says to PML, can you keep bringing more of these young guests pls, so we can lower the average age. Yes says, PML, some of these hashers are really old – like Stash who must be 80, and Cherry Picker and Rooning Sh#t who must be 90 – she’s the meanest…..
And so at 8:45pm it’s time for Mr. Prata and Chicken rice. Great circle GM’s and well done to Fawlty Bush and Pucks Me Lately for the excellent the on on.
Lion City HHH : Run 1978 Circle Report
Hares: Puck Me Lately, Fawlty Bush & Fawlty Towers
On-on: On site
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 59 of which 39 Members(22F,17M)
Virgins: x7 - Pauline, Maneet, Donovan, Gaby, Maro, Erin and A-Chau Le
Guests: Cereal Killer, Julian, Sabine, Hortense, Microscopic, Geoffrey, Sperm Off Ice, You Sian and Victor
Returnees: In n Out, Spreads Easily and Tiger Lily
New Members Penny and Thibaut
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
Our elected GM’s circle up the big crowd around 7:50pm. Welcome to run #1978. And let’s get to it and have our hares in for the verdict? On in Puck Me Lately, Fawlty Bush and Fawlty Towers. Lots of comments but largely and uncharacteristically, all positive and so Good Run is declared – Here’s to our hares, they’re true blue….. Tell us about your on on – chief organiser - Fawlty Bush – 5 star chicken rice, Mr. Prata, cup cakes and cold Aussie beer. All for the very reasonable price of just $8
Virgins? Yes there are 7 of them - Pauline, Maneet, Donovan, Gaby, Maro, Erin and A-Chau Le. And apparently Puck Me Lately made 3 of them come, at the same time??? Join up and come again, and again…..
New Members – we have two - Penny and Thibault – welcome, and sign up for the hare line.
Guests - Cereal Killer, Julian, Sabine, Hortense, Microscopic, Geoffrey, Sperm Off Ice, You Sian and Victor – they’re the meanest….
Returnees - In n Out, Spreads Easily and Tiger Lily - Why were they all born so beautiful, why were they born at all?
Formalities out of the way – let’s get the Hare Whip in? Fawlty calls for Coo Chi Coo, but he has missed out on the virgins tonight. Ok, a look a like? Somehow,Ditch gets pushed forward. And with his arms around his two co-hares, Fawlty Towers asks the CCC lookalike to count how many? Yes, it’s 3 plus some. Too bad for CCC missing out on a 3some tonight. He’s the meanest……. Next in is Strapless. He has been wanting to get his own special beer mug, with his name on it, just like the Monday and Seletar boys. But times are tough and now business is down with COVID19. But whilst in Chiang Mai recently, he decided to do his own shopping and bought a cheap enamel mug, but without his name on it. But Fawlty Bush came to the rescue, and got him his very own beer mug with STRAPLESS on it – here’s to the cheap ass, he’s true blue……
Puck Me Lately invites all her colleagues in – Now, I know times are slow, but it’s taken these guys 3 years to accept her invite for a run – they ought to be…… And there’s one more – you know how there is always a nagger at the hash? Well last week, the super competitive ones went to Kota Tinggi for some extra curricular activity. But it was all too much for Cherry Picker, and so he bailed out. But there was an old man there – Strapless, who was giving out advice in the Kota Tinggi communal house to the girls to pick up their bra and panties off the floor. Which then prompted him to do some cleaning up himself when everyone else was out of the house. And what did he find? The PoTW! He’s the meanest….
Chastity Belt is asking for membership forms to sign up all the newbies, but Voting B#tch responds by saying she owes Puck Me Lately $100 – coz she didn’t make me come.
But there’s a PSA from the Grand Mattress – we have Airborne now for the 28th (and 8:24 immediately starts doing push ups at the mention of Airborne?) but we need someone for the spooky Friday the 13th???
And today is Too Good’s birthday – hashy birthday to you……