Circle Report- Run 1880
Date: 6th April 2018
Run Site: Mount Faber Car Park A
On-on: Block 11 Telok Blangah Crescent
Hares: Cunni Lick Her, Teeny Weeny Willie, Comes First
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 38, of which 27 Members ( 12 F, 15 M)
Virgins: Several former but none new
Guests & Returnees: 11(4F, 7 M)
New Member: Not as such
Next Week’s Hares: Posh Pussy, Count Dracula & No Rection
Run Site: Tagore Drive
On-On: Xiao Seafood, Tagore Lane
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula
The Circle kicked off on time & the hares were summoned to hear the verdict. Out-shouting the usual “Not enough…” and “Too much/ too many…” was “There were Ants…” As we shall see the ants dominated the following proceedings but despite the objections GOOD RUN was awarded with marks added for creative use of dead-end drains. “Here’s to hares, they’re true blue…”
With members showing a decidedly average turn-out, it was good that 11 Guests & returnees turned up. Guests As Everybody Posts, hare Comes First and First Spring, Hare Cunni Lick Her, Dickless, Dickless II, Orfull F*ck, hare Teeny Weeny Willie and Telecum. Returnees: Spreads Easily, and Pushy Boy. “Here’s to guests, they’re true blue…”
Next Week’s Hares were delayed for a while as Puck Smuggler & Mother Mary quietened some disturbance from gabbling girls, but then, represented by Posh Pussy who promised a fun run and a great on-on to mark the birthday of the Holland Prince of Orange…perhaps the one who became King of England? Run details are on the front page as usual.
Cunni Lick Her appointed himself Hare Whip and, true to custom, charged his co-hare TWW with teaching Comes First how to draw and arrow. Some people never stop being teachers…”He’s the meanest…” Second charge was on Ayam Zingking, who was flogged in absence for causing Madam Lim, our lovely favourite restaurateur, to go into a state of panic by failing to warn her that 90 people (9 tables) were going to arrive for supper last week. “He ought to be publically…”
After the Hare comes Mystery Whip Posh Pussy and understandably she is still suffering the trauma of being invaded by swarms of red ants. “This was the most painful run of my life!” First that she noticed was the sting, which she thought was from a bee, so “Bees, BEES!!” she screamed loud enough to alarm the hash walkers 200m behind. Next, the other runners discovered the true cause and were slapping and banging themselves everywhere, stripping off clothes to get at the nasty bugs. In fact the ants were there as soon as you entered the bushes so after ten metres had good time to spread up legs and bodies into neck and hair. PPhad her hair washed by Rooning S#t who sacrificed his water-bottle but found it hard to see the little buggers against black hair.Stash and Coo-Chi- Coo also joined RS’ causing a passer-by to exclaim “You’re so lucky-lah, to have all those handsome men helping you!” “Here’s to hash heroes, they’re true blue…”
Puck Smuggler had heard the cries of “Bees!” but avoided the hazard. He was concerned, too, about dogs barking, but it turned out it was only Telecum playing Dr Doolittle and talking to the animals. Enough on ants in the pants and elsewhere, it’s time for the…
Mystery Mystery Whip in the person of…oh no, not Orful F*ck …? Thankfully, not, it’s Samson LeToi whose first charge is on the young and fit…who is it that is seen only to be walking but somehow always seems to finish just behind the FRBs? Ditch, it seems. “Here’s to the young ones, they’re true blue…”
Next charge has the whip in a faux pas situation, his complaint that there was no bottled beer misfires as he’s clearly holding a bottle and he has to take a D-D.Suzy Wong, nearing the end of her stint as Hash Brew, wants to retire. Sing a song for Suzy…”She’s all right, she’s all right…” Show us your legs…”
Next charge would have been on PoKai but like most of the senior Hash girls she’s not aroun’. So call in all the noisy girls… Getting our money’s worth from the M2 Whip, next is a charge on No Good who, it seems, can’t leave Coo Chi Coo her husband’s bottom alone, as evidenced by numerous incidents on the run. “She ought to be publically…” And to balance the charges here’s one onCoo Chi Coo himself, unusually he was at the run site in plenty of time, so for coming early, “Here’s to prematures they’re true blue…”
Finally we’re into AOB and first up is Ditch, who wants to warn the ladies that a certain self confessed gentleman (on the Hash??? – Scribe) is not such a gentleman. Three times he had to stoop and tie his shoelaces…is that the action of a gentleman, 8.24 ? “ B-I-M-B-O…”
AOBfrom Tiny Weeny Willie, sweeping up the laggards at the back of the pack “I came across this evidence of intelligent life on the hash” “Someone went to a lot of trouble to produce an arrow out of a T-check, I’d like to know who was it? Normally hashers talk in grunts like Australopithecus”. After a short pause, Telecum stepped into the circle and, to the cheers of the Circle said “It was I...” “Here’s to smart hashers, they’re true blue…” (Well, it had to be a guest _ - Scribe).
AOB from guest Orful F*ck, seems he lost his phone (see who found it!) but wanted to tell all LCHHH they are most welcome in the Island of the Gods to join in the Bali Hash activities.
At this point Running S#t and Sooch returned from a doctor’s appointment, which stimulated a rash of silly questions and trite remarks. It also served to fire up Posh Pussy’s memories of the ants incident where apparently certain of the hash gentlemen overstepped the mark when it came to helping her remove clothing…no names no pack drill…
Final AOB from Maskerbator, understandably the run site at Lorong Sesuai needed a major clean-up after last week’s run. Seems he was left to do it by himself, only Smell Me offered to assist – and just handed him a broom. “We ought to be publically pissed on…”
After which time GM & Stand-in GMs judged it was time to release the hungry horde to ON-ON-ON at about 9pm-ish.
Run Report- No. 1880
Saviour’s RunDate: 6th April 2018
Run Site: Mount Faber Park Car Park A
Hares: Cunni Lick Her, Teeny Weeny Willie, Comes First
Run Scribe: Airborne
At 5.59 pm, Puck Smuggler had to make an instant executive decision. With not only Voting B#out of town, but also all the most likely stand-ins having some indisputable excuse or other, there was no Grand Mattress. Quickly brushing aside a suggestion that it was time for a cross-gender appointment, his eyes lighted upon ex-GMs Mother Mary. Looking only slightly dazed, and with just the merest hesitation, she shouldered the weight of office and the problem was solved. We’ll be looking for similar volunteer spirit in time for appointments to be released before the AGM.
The Run: Despite the short notice, it was clear that a lot of thought had gone into creating the trail, which was ridden with checks both circle and Tee, not to mention one blind alley up a drain which had only ? to show for it. On on straight into the jungle, the path led first down Mount Faber then up again to the road.
After a lot of zig-zags, twists and turns that kept the FRBs guessing, it descended the North face of the hill to deliver us back to Mt Faber road. Down the back of HDB towards Lower Delta road, we crossed a footbridge, the FRBs were hornswoggled by a T-check then back-tracked to enter some greenery and climb a slope where there were…ants…in profusion.
Busy little hyperactive ants that quickly swarmed all over people, generating shrieks from the girls especially Posh Pussy, who – O joy! started stripping off. Getting rid of the pests required water treatment from the hairier hashers, but more of that later at charge time.
Moving on (eventually) the trail took us up Bt Purmei Hillock (or Pillock, or some vulgar antonym) across the AYE towards the Greenway which we joined and headed east. Following paper out of the Greenway by the side of the CTE turned out to be yet another false trail and it was back down again for another few hundred metres before getting legs over the railings and off on to grass.
Despite good markings, it was only with the help of some on-site, up-and-running guidance from Hares Comes First and Teeny Weeny Willie that the FRBs were corralled and the mainstream pack could stay with them. Not to mention additional support from some home-made arrows fromTelecum for which he was to pay later…
Back over the main roads we were led past St Theresa’s Church into a quiet plot of grass, past yet another T-checked drain and crossing unco-operative traffic lights to climb the long stairway back to Car Park A. This was a text-book run full of lessons on how to a) use unlikely territory to find green, and interesting runs, and b) to keep the FRBs occupied while the van of the pack catches up.
Well done hares!