And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip??? And after some prevarication, PML is in swinging a rather large black bag. Hang on, who called for PoTW? Seems we might get two for one here? But first let’s deal with Bibrator (not the one in PML’s hand). B4 the run tonight, a fretting Bibrator says to PML – I always nice to you, right? Here’s to the original Mystery Whip, she’s true blue….
Next it’s the turn of the hares for the Pr#ck charge. I’ve kept this thing for 2 weeks, and that’s about enough time. And so tonight, for setting so many bloody circle checks, is it RR? Or could it be for FV – for being so oppressed by two white giants, and for fetching paper, carrying their beers, and generally being their ‘Prospect’? Or could it be Cherry Picker, going for run of the year, but what about those sections where we were short on paper – it must have been a stingy bstd? And despite his protestations and CP’s cries of – keep the Pr#ck, it seems the Pr#ck has found a new master. PML’s parting advice to CP – bring it next week and scare the newbies! He’s the meanest……
PML – has anyone heard of Ironman? Perhaps Ironboy? Well how about Ladyboy? And PML charges Ladyboy for turning the ironman into an ironboy. For the swim leg, he decides to do breast stroke and kick all his competitors in the face. And on the cycle leg, whilst all his competitors were on their $4k++ carbon fibre racers, Ladyboy was on his $400 vintage uncle’s bike. And for the run, our Ladyboy here decides to power walk it! Here’s to Ladyboy, he’s true blue…
PSA – Save the date – Nov 9, for LCH3 Paint the Town Red night out – standby for details
Mystery, Mystery, Whip? It’s the return of Shiggy Piggy, who immediately calls in the stand in GM – Stash, on behalf of the real GM and whip nominator – Chastity Belt. Now Shiggy Piggy has been a bit preoccupied, riding a motorbike from Singapore to London. But whilst traversing the Kazakistan mountains many months ago, he gets an sms for the MMW gig. Let’s give our stand in nominator a note – he ought to be publicly…… Now Boris has only been in the job for 6wks, but he has already been voted down 4 times, and says he’d rather die in the ditch. Perhaps we should make him a hasher? Let’s get In n Out in as a look a like – here’s to the wanna be Brexiteer, he’s true blue…. And finally, let’s have the hares in, including the Fake Virgin lookalike – PML. According to CP as he set us off tonight, the run was about 8km. But in the first 1km, we had 5 bloody circle checks! So that means 40 circle checks for the run? Here’s to the circle lovers, they’re true blue….. And really, finally, have we all read about the little girl in Sweden - Greta, who has skipped school, and is perhaps more of an environmental activist, who wanted to attend a global warming event in New York, but didn’t want the carbon footprint associated with an economy seat on a plane, so took the most expensive, carbon fibre yacht across the Atlantic. How many seamen does it take to cross an ocean? For the answer we need a lookalike, and there is only one amongst us that could possibly pass for 16 – on in PML. She’s dumb, she’s dumb……
Is there, Any, Other, Business?Handbag is in, and calls in the Fawlty’s. One is the skipper and navigator, and the other an overly trusting soul. Out on the trail tonight, as we were running along, Fawlty Towers says to Handbag, if you follow the setting sun, it will lead you all the way to Pasir Ris. Only problem is, Pasir Ris is to the East of Lorong Lada Hitam! He ought to be publicly…..
In n Out is in with a Sir Long n Thin charge, but first we need a lookalike? On in the man from Wisconsin. Now when In n Out was introducing himself at the beginning of the run, and asked Wisconsin man his name, he replied, Sir Long and Thick! And Awesomefoursome and Suzee Wong who were within earshot, immediately came up to be introduced! They ought to be publicly….
Suzee Wong stays in to charge Bibrator. Seems Missy here, came up to me tonight, a bit stressed, saying; I’ve got a big, big problem – what, are you pregnant? No, I’ve been asked to do the MW, but I normally pass it off to Pokai, but she’s not here. Too bad says Suzee Wong – try Pucks Me Lately. She ought to be publicly…
Wisconsin man is back in. I’ve actually been to a few LCH3 hashes b4, and I recognize some familiar faces. But it seems LCH3 hashers have been drinking a bit, and some have forgotten me. On in Voting B#tch and Suzee Wong. But also In n Out, who only remembered him, after taking a viagra, and thought he was Sir Long and Thick! They ought to be publicly…..
As VB contemplates a naming, and PML calls for evidence,Wisconsin man is off to the Famous Kitchen at 8:42pm, and so it’s on, on, on. Great run hares, excellent circle GM’s, and we’re looking forward to see you and your friends at the end of Chestnut Avenue next Friday
Hares: Cherry Picker, Roo Rooter
and Fake Virgin
On-on: Famous Kitchen
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 35 of which 27 Members (11F, 16M)
Virgins: Yes – Fraser
Guests/Returnees: Lady Boy, Cereal Killer, Pucks Me Lately, Sperm Off Ice, Fraser, Jimmy, Frozen Stiff and PP
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8:04pm and finally everyone is back in, so let’s get the circle going. Voting B#tch and Stash are the ring masters, so let’s call in the hares. Roo Rooter and Cherry Picker are here, but where is Fake Virgin – still on trail stuck in the mud? (go to LCH3 web site, Gallery, and click on the videos to find him).
WDWTOTRun? Voting B#tch thought it was a mud spa, some said run of the year? Others say not bad. Not enough shiggy? But Stash needs to know – was it a good run? Yes of course, here’s to the hare’s, they’re true blue….. Tell us about your on on? The blokes have no idea, so the real hare – Voting B#tch tells us it’s at Famous Kitchen, 2 jugs (of beer) per table, just follow Strapless.
Next week’s run? It’s our Bring a Friend Run – it’s free for first timers on LCH3. And Fawlty Towers explains how it will be a very friend friendly run – no shiggy, no water crossings, no drains, just good NParks approved trails??? End of Chestnut Avenue, Mr. Hoe on site
Virgin? Yes – we have the barefoot virgin – Fraser. And the girls are listening intently as VB asks – who made you come? Turns out it was just Roo Rooter. And some gals who didn’t catch his name but seemed very interested, asked – what’s his name? Pucks Me Lately says – we don’t care about his name! Ladies, he’s alright, he’s alright, he got a tiny, weenie……
Guests: Lady Boy, Cereal Killer, Sperm Off Ice, Fraser, Jimmy, Frozen Stiff andPP. But PML joins them – as a Returnee? B.I.M.B.O….. Here’s to our guests, they’re true blue….
Do we have a Hare Whip asks our stand in GM? Oh no, it’s Roo Rooter, who of course charges his co-hare – the one that’s not here! But hang on, we need a lookalike for Fake Virgin – so on in PML? But I’m not fat, balding and don’t have a d#ck! But anyway, Fake Virgin was a bit over excited today, even obsessed, running around setting his first ever run. But today there was a military exercise with helicopters flying overhead everywhere – much like Da Nang in 1969. And FV got a bit nervous, and was hiding under trees, and says to RR – do you think they have heat seeking missiles? Here’s to the worried, warm wet patch, one, he’s true blue….
Next it’s Cherry Picker. As usual, RR was not on the recce, but CP had his “prospect” – FV. So CP circumvents the mud and then calls him through the shiggy. And the full of enthusiasm FV says, make sure RR goes through this next week. But as he dutifully follows CP’s directions and then sinks into the mud, his demeanour changed and the very affable one called CP a name we can’t possibly print here. But then tonight, as CP was again positioning himself on the other side of the mud, with his phone ready to get some funniest home video’s, out from the jungle emerges Sperm Off Ice. KnowingCP too well, SoI decided to preserve his shoes, and scrambled over trees to the right, and deny CP his funny video. But there were still plenty of others, so go to the Gallery section of our web site for a laugh.
VB decides it’s time to take the piss out of the English, and with some assistance from In n Out – it’s: Order, Order, We’ll just get it done, and, I’d rather die in a ditch. Let’s have all the English from the house of the commoners in. And VB reads them her favourite Fleet Street tabloid headline – Floppy Johnson just can’t get an election! Here’s to the floppy Johnson’s, they’re true blue…..