This week’s Mystery Whip is Stash, calling in Cherry Picker who apparently has taken up Puck Smuggler’s habit of dropping the job on people at the last minute or later. Stash consoled himself by claiming to have benefitted many by discovering a short cut & being followed by Tight Lips, Awesome Foursome, Puck Me Lately and Orful Fuk. Short Cutters take a D-D. Next up from Mystery Whip…Airborne & Bibrator had a crash last week. Here, it was Trolley Dolly and Puck Me Lately who were on a collision course, but managed to avoid needing medical treatment. Give ‘em a D-D…
This week Stash is a bachelor as Wonton is in Korea, but never mind as Iron Crotch is helping him. We won’t ask how….
Exit Left Mystery Whip, enter Comes Quietly with the unenviable task of finding a mug to wear the robe of office of TOTW. So quietly does he come that Airborne couldn’t hear what he did to deserve it. He should have passed it to Orful Fuk for throwing a beer over it. Another week, another Trump (O God forbid).
Public Service Announcements: GMs says the Friday 13th accident was not an attention getting stunt for the First Aid Course but nevertheless it was an illustration of why we need people to come forward to be First Aiders. 11th November is rushing up fast so please commit to joining up. Not only the 11th but the rest of November too rushes near so sign up for …. a wondrous weekend of hashy enjoyment.
Mystery2 Whip is Stick her Shock, who still remembers her childhood innocence “When lots of things that grown-ups talked about just passed over my head…” This was meant to introduce the charge against Prick Me and Airborne who were called in. “You probably didn’t know this but if someone gets a bang on the head, doctor’s instructions are that they are not to be left alone for the next 24 hours. Last week, this gave bachelor Airborne a problem. Prick Me volunteered to be the overnight guardian, so sat up on the setee in his apartment whilst he snored in his bedroom. In the small hours, he woke up. “Charley, find me a blanket, I’m shivering”. PM said “If you’re cold, I’ve got a better idea, why don’t we make like we’re married?” “Great” says AB, when do we start?” “Right now… you’re cold, get your own f***ing blanket!”
Pause for Circle to get its breath back then on to the next victim, Totally Unacceptable. Stick her Shock reminds us of national stereotypes like Frenchmen being the most romantic, Italians being super-passionate and American blacks having the biggest loin equipment. Somehow this got around to names, oh, and by the way what’s yours? “Kopulatoropolis, but my friends call me Sven” and so Norwegians make the best lovers?
Highlights of AOB this week:
D-D to Deep Throat for setting the run whilst still jet-lagged. Ditch: he’s becoming a parking attendant to the Decamp family – last week Stick her Shock needed help, this week it wasPool Toy who couldn’t park by himself… “B-I-M-B-O…”
Pool Toy: called in Puck Me Lately who patently wasn’t wearing hash gear “My Tee-shirt was too heavy…” (Ed’s note: the SPGs are getting out of control again, the Circle needs to assert some discipline…off-off-off).
Running Sh*t: some of us will not be going to the Pan-Asia Hash but hospital instead. Trolley Dolly: has been having trouble with a hi-tech weighing machine that defined him as super-obese. Calls in Running Sh*t and Ditch to demonstrate how the machine classifies – Ditch is obese and RS is super-obese. TD’s conclusion? He’s normal the rest of us are freaks… Shouts from the Circle: “Who ate all the pies?”
As per TD, PoKai’s TV schedule this week includes 600lb Man, Fat Guy and Sumo wrestling… well, we all have our little deviations…whatever turns you on
And on which note the GMs & acting GM called on-on-on !
Circle Report- Run 1856 – Deepavali Run
Date: Friday 20th Oct 2017
Run Site: Marymount Terrace
On-on: Block 22 Sin Ming
Hares: Deep Throat & Ripper
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 42, of which 34 Members ( F 18 & M 16)
Virgins: 2 lovely lassies
Visitors & Returnees: 6 (3F, 3M)
New Member: Ying
Milestones VB close to her century
Next Week’s Hares: Mr & Mrs Wanky Pooh
Run Site: Clementi Stadium Car Park, West Coast Walk
On-On: Shi Zi Wei Seafood, Blk 431 Clementi Ave 3
Circle Scribe: Airborne
So we were back to Marymount Terrace for an urban (or urbane?) Deepavali Run by the odd couple of Deep Throat andRipper. Hash walkers probably welcomed the lack of shiggy and no climbs up the north face of Bukit Whatever. FRBs may not have appreciated the circle check that had two exits, apparently, but who cares about FRBs?. If you took the wrong one (most of us did) you landed up back at the check, after a detour up a drain. But, taking into account the warm weather plus the lack of shower water from the beer truck, hashers were probably glad of a not-too-strenuous run.
So when Cherry Picker, standing-in again for absentee GM Puck Smuggler, together with GMs Voting B* called in the Hares at 8.05pm there was a lot less grumbling and shouting than usual, and expert witness Butt Wiper confirmed the FRBs were back within a gnat’s whisker of one hour. So it was a GOOD RUN…Here’s to hares, they’re true blue…wait a bit, only one hare? Where’s the other? He went home for a shower? Bloody hell.
Do we have any Virgins?Yes we do, two comely lassies, Debbie & Yen. Who made you come? Suction Cup? Thanks for coming and we hope you will come again. “They’re all right…”
Enter second hare Ripper, fresh from his ablutions…here he is back again … give him a D-D for being I’m all right Jack…and your on-on is? “22 Sin Ming, 9 courses, $12, 3 tables booked. GMs buttonholed Ripper and asked whether, in view of the locations, “hadn’t he hadn’t been rather generous with the chalk?” I’m just curious. If he had an answer we didn’t hear it, so just put it down to LTA men being able to do more or less what they want… “B-I-M-B-O…”
Next Week’s Run: Hares were not around so the announcement was delegated to Voting B*, we’re heading to the West Coast where the trail will be laid by Chas-tity Belt and Wanky Pooh. Details up above as usual.
Guests & Returnees: Girls: Beer Bitch, Suction Cup, Tight Lips. Men: Butt Wiper, Orful Fuk, Samson Letoi. “Here’s to visitors, they’re true blue…”
Hare Whip: Deep Throat looked around for someone to charge and called in Airborne for posting the run as Deepavali at the last minute, only 2 days before the date. GMs VB confessed, ever so quietly, that it was actually her fault, but Airborne was a better victim (a man’s place is in the wrong). We were all pleased to see Iron Crotchdoing her stuff with the candles (all had wicks this year), which got DT out of trouble. D-Ds for IC & Airborne (the first of many).
New Member: Ying was called, in having been pushed over the threshold to sign up by Sweet Thighs. The Circle considered that an appropriate hash name be selected, accordingly the suggestions were Open Wide, Wide Spread and Ventilator. Put to the vote by GMs, untypically taste prevailed and in future Ying will be known as Wide Spread. Welcome aboard!