Thinking he can retire, and fade back into the throng of the circle, Croc O’ Sh#t is called back by Chastity Belt. Seems that C O’ S brought virgin Bernd tonight, who injured himself jumping into a ditch. And last time C O’ S brought a friend, a cobra leapt up and bit him on the willie. Friend to C O’ S – run for help and call 911. So C O’ S runs off and makes the call, and the operator calms him down, assuring him the ambulance is on the way, but he should stabilise the patient first, else he will die – we only have minutes to act! Yes, yes, says C O’ S, what should I do to save my friend, just tell me! Do you have a Swiss army knife asks the operator? Yes, yes says C O’ S, what do I do with it? You need to make a small cut at the bite site, and suck out the poison, else he will die b4 the ambulance gets there. C O’ S returns to his friend, who is by now going into shock, and his friend asks, what did the operator say? Well says, C O’ S, you’re going to die! Who ate all the pies….
Voting B#tch calls in No Good, who apparently got lost on the run tonight, but that’s not why she is called No Good. Arriving tonight, No Good decides to do a U turn, and park near the run site. But instead of a 3 point turn, it turned into a 300 point turn – beep, beep, beep, blocking the road for ages. So it seems the real reason for her naming, is because she really is No Good at parking. She’s alright….
Mystery, Mystery, Whip??? We have a representative from the Sh#t family – Chicken Sh#t calls in PML – how long have you been hashing? Already 50+ runs right? And tonight you invited Ryan. I spotted Ryan at the beginning, hanging by himself, and so I asked him – who invited you? Puck Me Lately. Where is she? I don’t even know if she is coming. B.I.M.B.O….. And PML was claiming earlier how she was running very fast, past the Sh#t family member – Croc O’ Sh#t, who had stumbled and fallen over. PML – was that a Boar or a Rhino? She ought to be publicly…..
PoTW? Last seen on the back of a motorcycle, tearing down Chestnut Avenue to an Oktober Fest party.
Is there, Any, Other, Business? Circle Jerk – I’ve been away, you may have missed me? Having been in England and Scotland (not the same place?), CJ tells us how polite the English are, and how direct the Scots can be. And so on the run tonight, as Chastity Belt was hot on the heels of Sweet Tongue, he was trying to flirt, but had to make it look like an accident. So he accidentally tripped, and put both hands out to prevent a fall, and managed to grabSweet Tongue perfectly on the waist – it was like watching an iPhone 11 slow mo selfie. But someone says, it was Sweet Tongue who stopped on purpose! They’re the meanest……
Voting B#tch – Chastity Belt wasn’t the only family member to get some action tonight. VB had inadvertently reached out, and touched Wankie Pooh, and it felt good – they’re alright…..
Circle Jerk is back in, explaining how he arrived late, as PML was taking her sweet time adjusting her bandana, but fretting about being so far behind. Don’t worry, says the reassuring CJ, just follow me and we will catch up. And sure enough, with the near f up at the start, then a lack of paper, and Stash falling in the creek, he was soon back with the pack. But where was PML? And even though she wisely didn’t follow CJ’s advice, she still managed to make it all the way to the drinks stop. She’s alright….
Chastity Belt is trying to encourage a now half drunk circle to continue the “bring a friend”- theme. With 8 newbies and guests, it was a good first effort, and let’s keep it up. And with another two cement trucks approaching, and Mr. Hoe serving up, it was on on on at 8:34pm. Well done all for a friend friendly run.
Hares: Fawlty Towers and Fawlty Bush
On-on: On Site – Mr. Hoe
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 51 of which 38 Members (16F, 22M)
Virgins: many newbies – Brad, Le, Pebbles, Zack, Ryan
Visitors: Fraser, Dirty Groper, Lady Boy
Returnees: Sweet Tongue, Bagless 2, Tiger Lily, Puck Me Lately, Denisa
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers
Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8pm sharp and all virgins are accounted for, so Voting B#tch and Chastity Belt try to get the circle started. But hang on, CB notices that VB and Roo Rooter are co-ordinated (in the dress department), so, here’s to the Velcro’s, they’re true blue….
Let’s get the hares in for the verdict. Almost a f up in the first 100M, not enough steps to the drinks stop, but at least the GM liked it, so Good Run it is – here’s to the hares…… On on – down there behind the concrete truck, Mr. Hoe - $12 for all you can eat plus loads of Tiger beers.
Next week’s run? Posh Pussy is in – welcome to my neighbourhood - 468 Tagore Industrial Drive, and bring some mozzie repellant. And just for good measure, she gets the B.I.M.B.O……
Virgins – CB – today was our inaugural “Bring a Friend” run, but some LCH3 members couldn’t even convince their maids to come! But we did have lots of newbies, and some free riders, but they all made it back, and two of the virgins made it all the way to the drinks stop. We had the injured – jump in a ditch man – Bernd, and then there was Ryan, invited by the late arriving PML. But anyway, she managed to make him come, and she wasn’t even here! – she’s something else. Here’s to our virgins….
Guests and Returnees: Fraser, Dirty Groper, Lady Boy, Sweet Tongue, Bagless 2, Tiger Lily, Pucks Me Lately, Denisa. And according to CB, we need to get Handbag in for bringing his entire extended family – they ought to be publicly….
Hare Whip? I guess it will be Fawlty Towers, and of course he has to charge his co-hare – Fawlty Bush. Tonight we had to bring so much stuff – snacks, drinks, beer, lanterns……, and so FB had to do a Grab upgrade to Premium – here’s to the good hare, she’s true blue….. Last week, FT was charged for being navigationally challenged. So “on in” the Handbag Family. It seems Handbag was heading for Pasir Ris and missed the drinks stop, but his newbie girl navigated all points of the compass and made it all the way around to the drinks stop, collapsing at the top. Here’s to the new improved Handbag……
And now, it’s time, for, the,Mystery Whip? Croc O’ Sh#t is honoured to be the hare whip? Huh, ok mystery whip! Tonight was a special run – we had lots of virgins, which has refreshed the memory of many hashers. But delving into his ‘Volkapulory, C O’ S tells us the real meaning of ‘Fat Bstd’ is, in his case, supreme athlete. Tonight on the run, Strapless called him Santa, becoz of his beard, not his belly. Next word out of the Thickasorus is ‘Old Fart’. I might limp a bit, have a grey beard, and generally be a bit slow, but tonight, Puck Me Lately – who is the complete opposite of Old Fart, and Circle Jerk, in his best BBC English – Croc O’ Shit, accused me of slowing them down! I have underwear older than her. They ought to be publicly…. And tonight, we had newcomers, old farts, fat bstds and FRB’s. It was multi generational, and takes me back to August 11, 2006, when Ayam Zinking and I were virgins. And the full extent of AZ’s English was “Hello, I am Peter”. And 9mths later it hadn’t improved. But today, he is still very German and very verbose. He’s alright, he’s alright, he’s got a……