With Santa Airborne inaudible through his beard, Pr#ck Me asks do we have a run next week? Yes, it’s off to Sembawang for the farewell to 247 Montreal Road, and the last time we can witness Puul Toy pull his pork! $10 and a fridge full of beer. Y’all know it’s usually an urban run, but Stick Her Shock has found some virgin jungle, so wear your best shiggy socks…
Now apparently the GMs is missing something – eff me shoes? But she has the flip flops on, which according to some wit, they are Kiwi eff me shoes? But it seems Wontonwas responsible for the missing shoes, which Spreads Easily stylishly parades for the circle.
Has Puck Smuggler done the job and appointed a Mystery Whip, asks Airborne? And for a while, it looked like remaining a mystery, until Pokai enters with a back pack – fill your mugs, this might take a while. Arriving at 7pm, Pokai thought she was screwed for material. But the hash didn’t disappoint. Reaching into her bag, Pokai pulls out a mobile phone, found on the kerb. On in Awesome Foursome, relieved to have her tool of the trade with all her valuable contacts (including b/f numbers), safely secured. And being so, so Singaporean, Pokai was proud to be the first to register for the Nash Hash in 2020. And upon starting a whatsapp group, Cherry Picker immediately says ‘I’m in’. So kiasu-lah. “Alamak, why you so like that, and particularly those that can’t understand my perfectly correct Singlish – those bloody fking Americans”.Pokai whatsapps to Wonton – which T-shirt you want – sleeve or no sleeve? Wonton to Pokai – cotton or dryfit? Pokai to Wonton – sleeve or no sleeve? Wonton to Pokai – I like cotton.
And there are still 2 more straws to break a by-now-exasperated Pokai.
1) TheFawlty Bush/ Bibrator sabo charge. Standing at the snacks table, sampling the fare, FB to Bibrator – “I put on weight?” Bibrator – “so why you eating the snacks?” “Oh no, I’m just doing a snack recce!”
2) The final straw – Goody Bag. Pokai presents GB with a pair of green socks, and apologizes they are the wrong size. But the obliging GB, already wearing a pair of way oversized red socks right up to her…, says that’s ok. But Pokai goes on – actually the two socks are different sizes – that’s ok says GB. “Alamak, give me back one sock so you at least get a matching pair! B.I.M.B.O…”
ToTW? No one owning up this week
PoTW? Butt Wiper is back in eager to give away the wiggly thing. Claiming it took him two weeks to get off Tight Lips, he is keen to give it away to an unwilling victim. And how often do we get fresh virgins on the hash? (As a Santa on an electric scooter whizzes through the circle – ho, ho, effing ho). And so it goes to Quentin – bring it back or put it in the sack!
And now it’s time for the Mystery, Mystery, Whip. And whilst we are all relieved it’s not really Cherry Picker, it’s in fact Butt Wiper yet again. Calling in the best dressed Santorini’s to a very appreciative crowd, it’s - tits out, for the boys, tits out for the boys (or so they dreamed), D.D.D.D……
Announcements?Pr#ck Me reminds us of the Hariettes boxing day run – East Coast Park – Sandbank. And who is the hare? Yes of course, it’s Pr#ck Me. And Tight Lips chimes in with PSA #2 – it’s the Sunday hash this weekend – HGV car park, and another on, on, on afterwards.
AoB? With both barrels done, and a starving crowd, it’s eff that, and off to the Red Lantern at 8:45pm. Thanks to our stand in GM’s, and an excellent run & drinks stop, on on and on on on from our very festive hares.
Run 1918 Circle Report
Friday 21st Dec 2018
Run Site: Blackmore Drive
Hares: Butt Wiper and Tight Lips
On-on: Red Lantern
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 52 of which 42 Members (23 F, 19 M)
Virgins: Philip and Quentin
Guests & Returnees: 10 (5F, 5M)
Milestones – due but to be awarded
Next Week’s Hares: Stick Her Shock & Puul Toy
Run Site: 247 Montreal Rd.
On-On: On-site, famous Puul Toy BBQ
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 8:02pm, and our stand-in Grand Mattress – Pr#ck Me, is anxious to get the show on the road. But the other standin Airborne, showing his experience, is quite happy for the crowd to continue the pre-loading, himself included!
But of course, a woman, and especially a Grand Mattress, is always right, so circle up around Mr. and Mrs. Claus and STF Up. Calling in the hares, Airborne explains that in the Oil and Gas industry, a Butt Wiper is the boss’s s#t catcher. So here’s to Tight Lips for finding a real Butt Wiper.
And where’s your on on? Red Lantern, $12. And the well loaded crowd begins – is that Chinese? Black pepper reindeer? enquires Cherry Picker. And for the real stayers – it’s on on on at the hares place for lots of Carols???
Virgins? Yes, and Pr#ck Me is quite excited – two good looking male virgins – it must be Christmas.Philip and Quentin promise to come again, and again….. They ought to be publicly…..
Guests: Douche, Pink Fanny, Chicken Dicken, and Returnees: Croc O’Sh#t, Wet Landing, Spreads Easily, Tiger Lily and Shipyard Flasher. And who made you come? Croc O’Sh#t does it on his own, and Douche from North Carolina blames the Japanese harriets. Why were they born so…
And now, according to Airborne, it’s time for some flagellation, so on in Hare Whip Butt Wiper, immediately calling in the talking turkeys – Iron Crotch, Goody Bag, Sweet Thighs and Spreads Wide - here’s to the talkative gals……. And since it’s Christmas, lets have the real Father Christmas’ in pls – Puul Toy and Croc O’Sh#t have all the right attributes, so they’re alright, they’re alright, they’ve got tiny weenie…… And the Crinches of the hash? Yes, on in Cherry Picker, Chicken Dicken and Strapless for whining about the impossible to see in the dark blue tape – true hashers never complain. Here’s to the Crinches… And sticking with the Christmas theme, BW calls for a Scandinavian. On in Shiggy Piggy, who is on the piss, so let’s hope his Elves are doing their job – he’s all right, he’s all right…..
Next it’s the Americans – on in Stash, Tight Lips, Ditch, Voting B#tch, Stick Her Shock, Nth Carolina man, Pool Toy and Dirty Hacker. And the charge is for the fake Commander in Chief, for having lost his Secretary of Defense. And not forgetting the Samurai’s – Tiger Lily, Chicken Dicken and Nth Carolina man – Moshi, Moshi…… And finally….it’s the real hare tonight – Tight Lips – Apart from doing all the hard work on the trail, it seems TL has been busy shopping. And BW, preparing for today, got up early, so he could leave work early, and so missed breakfast and lunch. But that’s ok, because he has been saving up the left over pizza for after work. But it seems the elf had gotten in first, and so, he’s dumb, he’s dumb…