GMs and GM agreed it was time for the Mystery Whip, but there came a pregnant pause much longer than usual, in fact long enough to fill GM with self-doubt… did he remember to dick someone or not? MW, where are you? Then a sigh of relief as Chastity Belt comes forward. Who can resist another poke at the Kim & Trump talking heads show? CB obviously not. His look-a-likes for the portly pair arePuul Toy (looking remarkably Kim-like) and Puck Smuggler who, fortunately for us, couldn’t look like POTUS if he tried. WDWTOT Meeting? “They ought to be publicly…”
Chastity Belt’s noticed that some of the more elderly hashers are settling into their twilight years, not front running so much and not chasing the SPGs like they used to. As representatives of the silver generation of hashers, CB calls in Ditch, 8.24 and Running S#t. It seems they decided to look into the New Guinness Book of Records to see where they stood, before shuffling off their mortal coils. But Ditch found his name against the record for the world’s shortest dick …”He’s all right, he’s all right, he’s got a teeny weeny willie…”.
When it’s time was called, the POTW was found to be still in action somewhere with the previous keeper, not around for re-award, so a quick flip was made to Mystery Mystery Whip and Strapless entered the Circle. First in is Sweet Thighs, seems Strapless was looking for somewhere cheap to park his expensive Mercedes (costs so much he can’t afford to park it). “The parking’s free!” says the pretty lady. And so it is…for the first 30 minutes… B-I-M-B-O…
Next in the stocks… lost runners, apparently “There I was, out on my own running up front…” ”Bulls#t… Bulls#t…” I waited 7 or 8 minutes for someone to catch up…”” Bulls#t… Bulls#t… “ And these folks turned up, obviously they were lost, so I said :”Follow me, I’m a local…” ” Bulls#t… Bulls#t…” so the result was with so many BS charges M2Whip finished up getting more D-Ds than his victims.
Seems like this timeTrolley Dolly really is making his farewells and heading off for the sunny Middle East. Oh dear, what shall we do for fancy dress inspiration? What will Pokai do for a driver? No more litre-stein-size boat races? No more incredibly long and convoluted shaggy dog stories? There’s no answer to that, all that’s left is to show our gratitude and appreciation in the customary Lion City Hash
House Harriers style…“FO YC, FO YC, FO YC FO…etc” sung fortissimo con brio.
GMs noticed that a slot went missing from tonight’s programme, but no-one threw in a B-I-M-B-O. So, Next Week’s Hare was finally given a chance to parade his stuff, so Samson Letoi revealed the run site will be Dempsey Durian Stall Car Park. An On-site on-on will be managed by Suction Cup. Co-Hares Airborne and Count Draculawill assist with trail laying & logstics.
AOB… yes! There’s still time for some AOB. In & Out has noticed that, tonight, we have with us two young women at the opposite ends of the scale of stature. There’s Chicken S#t, representing small is beautiful, who struggles to make five feet above ground, and representing the uebermenschen, Esther who has no problem clearing 2 metres. There’s no question, however, but that both are equally feminine so “They’re all right, they’re all right…”
Final AOB from Puck Smugglerwho’s noticed that one FRB seemed to find the trail tonight overly long… found sleeping through the circle, Good Grief, was it that boring? stagger in Windy Bar, who’s complaining it’s too darn hot…
Well, the answer is to go ON-ON-ON and chill out over in Yan Kit Road… ON-ON-ON!
Run 1928 Circle Report
Friday 1st March 2019
Another T Dolly Farewell Run
Run Site: Tanjong Pagar Old Rly Stn
Hares: Ayam Zinking, Pokai & Trolley Dolly
On-on: Ace Eating House, Yan Kit Rd
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 50, of which 44 Members ( 19F,25M)
Guests & Returnees: 6 (3F, 3M)
Circle Scribe: Airborne, Photos: Count Dracula
Once more it was the female of the species taking the initiative to prod the Circle into life, hashers nattering too happily to be attracted. So it was the voice of stand-in GMs Prick Me that was heard above all others and the Circle lurched into life about ten minutes late at 8.10.
“Call in the hares…” shouted Puck Smuggler and the three musketeers came lolloping in – Pathos, Bathos & Fartagain, alias Ayam Zinking, Pokai and Trolley Dolly, looking as if they couldn’t give a f-# What Did We Think Of The Run. “Too many drink stops… too much shiggy… too much jungle… not long enough…” but nothing sufficiently serious to justify Hash S#t so GOOD RUN…Here’s to hares. “PoKai, Tell us about your on-on…””It’s the ususal place, leave your cars, walk to Yan Kit Road.”
What, no virgins? Oh, disappointing…but we have Guests, Gals Diet Coke Head, Do Her Now and Esther, with Guys Bang Cook, Familiar Semen and Frozen Stiff.
Grand Mattress, where’ve you been hiding these two weeks?... a small island?” says Puck Smuggler “Yep, “ says Prick Me, “not on the map, not many people know where it is!” It’s the land of the Kiwi birds she’s talking about.
“SO… do we have a Hare Whip?...” We do, and what a Hare Whip… GM is momentarily stunned into silence by Trolley Dolly’s costume which is his most exotic yet. Looks like it’s been in an attic trunk since the time of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds… John Lennon is turning in his grave… but the ghost speaks, calling for his co-hares, enter Ayam Zinking wearing a Janet & John version of lederhosen topped by a similarly silly hat. So who will be the victims?... TD has the plot under control but with the usual mystery…Oh, it’s going to be a boat race between the British and the Germans. The Tommies manage to line up a strong team with the help of one Scotsman, but that leaves the Jerries outnumbered, so they are beefed up with other nationalities including Indonesia (Four Sores), the US (8.24) and NZ (Prick Me). Whist the Germans are waiting with their usual politeness, perfidious Albion jumps the gun so their pint is finished before the United German Nations are half-way down theirs. “They ought to be publicly…”
Flower Power TD’s next victim is PoKai representing the Fitbit addicts, she is the only one to score 3000 steps whilst lying down. TD’s 3rd charge is shared among Bibrator, Four Sores and Running S#t for being TD’s Unacceptables.