Circle Report - Run 1868
Date: Friday 12th January 2018
Run MOE Dairy Farm Adventure Centre
On-on: Red Lantern
Hares: Sweet Thighs and Ditch
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 65 of which 50 Members (F 25 & M 25)
Virgins: Yes - Susan
Visitors & Returnees: 14 (5 F, 9 M)
New Members: Welcome back Dog Mount and Totally Wet
Milestones Return of Bugle Boy
Next Week’s Hares: Butt Wiper’s Bondage aka International Fetish Day Run
Run Site: Hua Guan Avenue
On-On: Red Lantern
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Goodie Bag
At 8:04, and just back from NY – and even louder, GM - Voting Bitch calls the circle to order. Bringing in the hares, our GM Puck Smuggler asks, and what did we think of the run? Too much NParks bureaucracy, too short, too well engineered, too much mud…….. But it was indeed a cracking GOOD RUN and the hares are deemed “alright, they’re alright……”
On-on is at the Red Lantern – and “Where is that?” asks a comedian.
Back in the birthday boy Ditch to be presented with a cake by Wide Open. After some blowing instructions by VB, Ditch gets it right and its “hashy b’day f you….”
On in the virgin - Susan, and she wants to come again! She’s is welcomed with, “she’s alright, she’s alright, she’s a little….”
Guests and returnees are brought in for their free down, down…Girls: 14 Penguins, Dominator, Jack Off, Mata Hari, Tight Lips; Men: Barely Blue, Bugle Boy, Butt Wiper, Captain Red Arrow, Dead Fish, Just Joel, King Lear, Malfunction, Telecum. “Here’s to the guests, they’re true blue…”
VB holds in the visitors from the US – Barely Blue and Just Joel. They wanted to run Thursdae but VB coerced them to LCH3. And we heard a lot more of Barely Blue’s singing talents at the on-on later.
Having set a great run, organised a fabulous drinks stop and excellent on-on, had Ditch forgotten about his Hare Whip responsibilities? Almost caught out for words, he brings in Iron Crotch thanking her for the drinks stop – and how much did she drink? “Terima Kasih, Terima Kasih….”. Helping out the forgetful one, Sweet Thighs charges Bibrator, charged for acting B-I-M-B-O?
Next week’s hares? Corny Linguist tries to explain something which no one but a Jock could have interpreted. And he was politely asked to vacate the circle whilst Butt Wiper was brought in as the true hare for Run 1869. Apparently it’s a bondage run, Hua Guan Avenue.
Our GM’s call for the Mystery Whip. And in the rush to the beer truck, the diminutive Chicken Sh#t emerges. Do we remember Boobaloob? Now retired in Bkk and just got married. Lots of people posted “likes” for his FB wedding reception pics. But Poser posted – v cute cake, but pls make it taller next time? Is the new Mrs.Boobaloob a temporary thing? B.I.M.B.O…
Next it’s Jack Off. A seasoned hasher of 20+ yrs. Drove all the way from JB, but forgot her shoes? “She’s alright, she’s…..”
VB then tells us a hash love story – really? It’s Mother Mary and Dirty Hacker – 28 yrs of mostly bliss. “Why were the born so beautiful….”
Asking rhetorically “is Tiger Lily on the run?” VB reveals a msg from Roo Rooter – running in Shanghai with a pic of his new GF – with remarkable resemblance to our TL!
And now it’s time for the Mystery Mystery Whip. As the beer drinkers in the circle overwhelm Maskerbator, the scribe extricates himself from Puul Toy’s very comfortable chair to take up the charge. Fawlty Towers relays a watsapp from PSlast Tuesday afternoon. “Hi FT, I would like to rope Fawlty Bush into doing a MW, can you fwd her number pls?” With pleasure mate – here you go. Good luck with that!”. About 10pm that night, sitting on the couch, FT hears FB’s phone ping with a msg. FB – “Oh no, No no no, No way, Arrggghhhh” Next follows a flurry of texts where FB and PS conspire to delegate to FT. So on in the avoider – FBfor her down down.
And what’s with the big chill in SG this week? It’s been freezing! Apparently the result of a Monsoonal surge from China? Today it got down to a frigid 21 degrees! That’s still heatwave conditions in a UK summer! But the talkative Posh Pussyand Poser, were brought in for having braved the elements and run in leggings, sweat shirts, jackets and even hats. Here’s to the tropical gals they’re true blue…
And do we remember how PS got his name? Has he been to Aus recently and up to his old tricks? A security guard at the Perth Mint managed to smuggle out a one kg gold bar down his jocks (I guess it didn’t fit). Even setting off the metal detector, our PS blamed it on his metal zip. Management wanted then to ban all metal elements in clothing. But the union claimed this was discriminatory – what would the ladies use for underwire? So here’s to PS for causing chaos in Aus…
Next it’s the ex GM’s – Bugle Boy and Jack Off, and then Suzee Wong in her 90’s rave gear – “why were they born so beautiful…..”
As the originator of the ToTW, Bugle Boy calls in Strapless- it’s because of him! Drink it down, down…. Strapless – “tell me frankly – do you like Trump? “All he does is talk, talk, talk”. But we have a hasher in a similar vein – all he does is short cut, short cut, short cut. So on in Hooray – he’s alright……
VB calls for a Norweigan, but Totally Unacceptable has left the scene. Norway is not all it seems to the Donald – water is $4/bottle, they have salted cod and cream sauce – sh#thole food. Here’s to the Vikings….. And after spending a night on the tiles herself at a congested JFK and getting luggage in SG a day late, here’s to Changi….
PoTW? PS plays the role of a game show host, and calls for the (recently, not dearly) departed Sir Long n Thin? A lookalike? There’s no other skinny fakirs on the Hash, so on in the visitor Barely Blue, followed by his co-contestants – Butt Wiper, Dolly Trolly, Running Sh#t and Corny Linquist. And what would you bid for the Pr#ck? Butt Wiper seemed the most desperate with a bid of $1k, and with the bondage run coming up, what better recipient?
Having reserved an AoB spot, Bugle Boy quotes from the NY Times – “The world needs more Kings and Queens?” A man named Tolstoy – half English and half Russian, and President of the International Society of Monarchs, suggests the US needs to become a Monarchy! And so say all of us. It must be an institute of 35yrs+. On in King Lear. His first edict is to ban golf – coz people who can’t drive straight, can’t think straight! But it seems sadly that King Lear is headed for greener pastures, after many, many years in Singapore. We will all miss him – a true gentleman of the hash. But that doesn’t stop the traditional send-off for the endearing …
Cherry Picker has something to share? At the Committee mtg on Thur, after discussing the 35th anniversary run, and moving on to plan for the AGM, VB asks, “how many AGM’s have we had?” Is it like 37 or 38? B.Y.M.B.O…
Time for a Circle Jerk? Seems CJ feels he’s been left high n dry. Abandoning her MW duties, 11 delegates to CJ, who intently observes everything on the run, only to be told at the last minute he is not the MMW – stand down, son. But he must share the Goody Bag story. GB bending over – it’s a bit slippery? Was that the slope or the butt? But our ever vigilant 8:24 stepped in to make sure the GB butt didn’t fall down and get banged – what a champion…!!
And more on butts… Some hashers look in the mirror – “Darling, is this butt too big?” But some hashers think the opposite. Running Sh#t miraculously managed to squeeze between two pillars, but following in close pursuit, Malfunction managed to get a pillar stuck where it should never go. And dropping his shorts to show us his scars, that was more than enough for all of us, and the GM’s called on, on on at 8:58.
And so 5-tables-worth headed to our old fav, the Red Lantern, for a good feed, lots of hare beer’s, and some unprintable singalongs. On, on, on…