GM had a joke and before he forgot it, off he goes, about a Chinese farm hand who was a wannabe hasher. The farmer saw him one day peeing into a can and drinking the result. Giving scope for foreigner’s strange customs, he said nothing. However after another incident where he saw the man with his ear at the rear end of the farm bull, he felt he had to speak. Seems the farm hand had been told that if he wanted to be a hasher he only had to drink piss and listen to bullshit.
There’s no answer to that, but CCC had a try, about the factory boss who recruited a supplies manager. The oriental said “Oh yes, I can do supplies”, but after a week the factory stocks were running down. He went to look for his new manager, who was hiding behind a cupboard. “Surprise!!” he yelled as he leapt out. The things some people will come up with to get a free drink.
On this eve of CNY, Chilli Balls called in all the Chinese and, surprise, surprise, joy for the boys, it was an all-girl show – see photo. “They’re all right...”
Stand-in GM then said it was also highly in tune for tonight that we had a long-time Chinese- Aussie couple with us, come in CCC & No Good.
Do we have a Mystery2 whip? Saliva enters the circle but declares she needs to be #1 whip. However, she has time to observe that Puck Smuggler has been working hard on his pectorals to the point where they’re nearly as big as his wife’s top hamper. “He’s all right...”
After which short interlude it’s into AOB, and Juicy Pussy can’t wait to get Circle Jerk, Croc o’ s#t, Bibrator and GM into the circle over their relationships with their Android (or iPhone) devices. Seems all have been seeking advice for problems with their sex life unrepeatable here but related to JP. Just goes to show you should be careful with whom you share your online experience.
Cherry Picker repeated a conversation with Mother’s Tongue. She was asking about the didgereedoo, and CP said “Maybe you don’t know how to blow?” Her quick riposte was “Don’t knock my blow job!!” “She’s all right, she’s all right...”Croc o’ S#t was having trouble remembering people’s names so called in Regina when actually it was Lap Dog he wanted to charge but seems he’s forgotten with what. Oh well “Here’s to dog lovers, they’re true blue...” Meanwhile Sperm off Ice got excited about Handbag & friend comparing details of sleeping time, and Juicy Pussy complained at CK, CJ, CP and Eleven drawing attention to something hanging out of her shorts. What was it? The laundry advice tag! So “Here’s to the shorts cutter, she’s true blue...”
At which point the GM cut short further proceedings and it was on-on-on to the Handlebar, with thanks to the hares for a boutique run for Australia Day.
Run 1975, 24 Jan 2020
Australia Day Run
Run Site: Gillman Barracks, car park “A”
Hares: Coo Chi Coo & Comes Quietly
Total Run/ Circle Attendance: 35 of which 28 Members ( 12F, 16M)
Virgins: on an Australia Run?
Guests & Returnees: (2F, 5M)
Circle Scribe: Airborne Photos: No Good
Hashers tried hard to give the evening an Aussie flavor with stockman hats, a didgereedoo and even the sunset produced a Sydney Nolan colourscape. The hares laid on a spectacular on-on at Handlebar. Nonetheless CNY intruded, not least by cutting the numbers. Many Hash stalwarts had to succumb to the demands of family and yield to other priorities. Hats off to those who dovetailed the run with their Ratty obligations and joined in for the run if not the circle. 28 members were made of the right hash stuff, and turned out with 7 guests/ returnees to recognize the lucky country, represented by hares Coo Chi Coo & Comes Quietly.
GM Chastity Belt with Chilli Balls as stand-in GMs called “Circle Up” at an early 7.45. The run site had to be changed at the last minute as Car Park B had been taken over by contractors. Still, the FRBs completed the run in a whisker under 45 minutes, and that technically answered the fundamental question WDWTODR? So the argument was not about whether or not it was a hash s#t. FRBs said “Not enough checks” probably because they didn’t see them, the hares blamed construction work for shortening the trail. Hash walkers enjoyed the view from Labrador waterfront and the historical flavor, so the GM decided to pronounce it a GOOD HASH S#T. So it was “Here’s to hares, they’re true blue..” accompanied by Cherry Picker on didgereedoo. “Where’s your on-on?” “Over there – 20 metres”
Chilli Balls called for Guests & Returnees, who were Lap Dog & Sweet Tongue, with returning royalty Puck Smuggler, Cereal Killer, Sperm off Ice, Skipmark, Craig..
Hare Whip # 1 was Coo Chi Coo who wanted to know did the pack take in the stone monument, just inside the short patch of jungle? A regimental crest for a WW2 Scottish battalion that’s sadly been taken over by tropical vegetation. CCC thinks it should be restored and called in Bagless to take a D-D on behalf of the dilatory Scots...3-2-1 get it D-D-D-D. Hare whip called in the FRBs for a scolding, they failed to see the point of one T-check and spoiled CCC’s plan to make the long run even longer...”They’re dumb, they’re dumb...” Finally CCC had it in for the Construction industry, which vandalized his run, not only forcing a change of runsite but also spoiling the trail around Labrador Park MRT. Cherry Picker took a D-D on behalf of the constructor destructors ...”They’re the meanest”.
Next Week’s Hares... All the Chinese led by Strapless were not around – CNY strikes again – but we gather the Chinese New Year Run is at Upper Thomson Rd, car park No.U0043, aka the patch of grass next to the Hai Lam Sua Tee Kong Temple, or the OCBC Bank if you can’t get your tongue around the name of the Temple. On-on will be at a local coffee shop, probably the one last year where you drink beer & talk cock. They got our number, folks!
Mystery Whip was Bagless, out to get his own back for the hare whipping. Comes Quietly was seen returning from his sweeping duties wearing a pair of lemon yellow running shoes sized like mini-canoes. They were obviously very new and changed for an old pair in time for the circle to avoid the penalty. So he got a D-D anyway, to the inevitable tune of “All Australians are born illegitimate...” which the Circle rendered in full. “Father’s day’s a – lonely holiday, lonely holiday... etc”. Next up was Cherry Picker. With Lap Dog #1 and #2 (Regina) present, Mwhip charged him for quoting “I only pay for one b#...” “He’s the meanest, he sucks...”