MMW? Posh Pussy is in, and she is serious. You guys have no idea how serious Covid19 is. I need an Italian look alike, to explain this video I was watching, which outlined how Italy had gone into lockdown to contain the pandemic, but new cases were still spreading like crazy – even more than China – why? These idiots don’t understand lockdown – still going out to bars, going out to buy cigarettes. Let’s get the smokers in – SOI, Pink Fanny and Pokia – how many times a day do you go out to buy cigarettes? Pokia – once a year at DFS? But the crazy Italians are going out all the time. And the Mayor who has been running in the Lombardy region for 20 years, and has never seen anyone else running. But now everyone is out running and hashing – that’s why it’s going crazy! Singaporean’s, keep your social distance. And Strapless says – that’s the longest MMW charge ever, and Rooning Sh#t chips in – we weren’t listening, we were just watching!
PML explains what AoB is to her friends – it’s how you make a fool of yourself. And tonight we have lots of volunteers. The color blind guy who thought he was wearing a green shirt when in fact it was black, has a beer on his head, and walks into the circle balancing the beer and then out again? Strapless enquires – you no understand English??? B.I.M.B.O….
Cherry Picker calls in PML. When you run, what kind of socks do you wear? Long. Why? Well there might be lots of shiggy. So now Cherry Picker calls in Harry the Crotch – and who made you come – PML. So why the short socks? PML didn’t tell you? She just said to wear a v neck with a rug underneath?
Mothers Tongue calls back the hairy one. We occasionally get a bit lost on the hash, but we usually find a road and somehow make our way back. But the hairy one was overly enthusiastic when he found the road and the way home – He’s dumb, he’s dumb, he’s really…..
Cherry Picker decides its pick on the Italian’s night. First the color blind guy, who walked into the circle balancing his beer on his head. And then there was the idiotic Italian guy, who left his apartment, in a dinosaur costume, during a lockdown, thinking it would protect him from the virus, and no one would see him. Except everyone video’d him and he ended up arrested – here’s to the Dino boy, he’s true blue….
Bend Over Rover has some words of wisdom for us in these troubled times – apparently T Rex died becoz he didn’t wash his hands?
Circle Jerk has a question – what to do when people are lazy at circle checks? Let’s call in the German guy – one German drinks…… and then we all sing – Germans have no sense of humour, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, that’s not true it’s just a rumour! Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah
And Cherry Picker stays in and calls back Stash and Strapless and we also need a lawyer so let’s have 8:24 in. It seems there has been some debate on the sidelines of the circle regarding the new hasher – Harry Hairy Crotch. Strapless and Cherry Picker want to name him, but Stash says we can’t name non-members? Let’s go to the hash lawyer – 8:24 – is there a precedent – well yes there is. But Cherry Picker claims to have no powers infested in him, so PML has to do the job. And the candidate names are: Harry Crotch, Pubic Bone and Harry V Neck. And Harry Crotch it is. On the flip flops son and PML does her thing and proclaims, for now and herein ever after, you will be known as Harry Crotch. Here’s to Harry Crotch, he’s now true blue….
Saliva calls back Harry Crotch and the Italians. She overheard them debating earlier. The Italian asked, what’s a crotch? But they don’t understand English so Harry showed them his. They’re all too European, no wonder Covid19 is going crazy – they’re alright, they’re alright…..
Harry Crotch has got the hang of how the circle works, and comes back in, saying he has several pubic bones to pick! Now Canadians are getting a bit scared. Their neighbours to the south seem to be getting on top of it. They’ve got a strong man, a man who calls a spade a spade, who calls out blame when he sees it, who knows who really started the Wuhan/China virus. We need some kinda Chinesey looking people in to take the blame. On in PML, Strapless, Rooning Sh#t (it’s his grey hair), Saliva and Sooch. Drink for your virus crimes – they ought to be publicly….
Strapless call in Handbag. He’s 94 this week, how’s he gonna set a run in Pasir Ris? Hashy b’day f you….
PML calls in her co-hare – Sperm Off Ice. We’re now best friends, proclaims PML. We’re homey’s! But today as we were laying the trail, there was a shortage of toilet paper. SOI kept hanging it on the trees, but it kept falling down. PML has some advice for Sperm Bank – you have to keep your man up, so it doesn’t fall down, and go all over the place! I’m your housemate now, and I’ll be listening. She’s the meanest……
And so, finally, at 8:35pm, it’s off to Macca’s for a secret Irish on on. Well done to our stand in GM’s for a great circle, and excellent run hares. And it’s on on on, until this Covid19 thing is under control. Stay safe!
Hares: Sperm Off Ice, Sperm Bank and Puck Me Lately
On-on: off off
Total Run/Circle Attendance: 43 of which 31 Members (13F,18M)
Virgins: It’s the luck of the Irish – Simon, Harry and Zing
Guests: Pink Fanny, Sperm Off Ice, Microscopic, Pauline, Bend Over Rover, Sperm Bank, Geoffrey, Le and Raphael
Circle Scribe: Fawlty Towers, Photos: Count Dracula
It’s 7:47 and our stand in GM’s – Strapless and Puck Me Lately are struggling to make themselves heard above the rowdy St. Patrick’s Day congregation. STFUp, and Strapless is soon back in charge (or so he thinks). Let’s start with the virgins? And in they dutifully come. Simon – PML invited me and I haven’t come b4 but now I’m not a virgin anymore? Harry the v neck virgin who also lost his virginity with PML, and then there was Zing – also made to come byPML! They’re alright, they’re alright…..
Tell us about your unofficial on on? The hares are clueless but Sperm Bank is loaded, with information. It’s all unofficial so just follow me.
So, WDWTOTRun? Kelong? Too short? Too many hills? Too many greens? Hamster food was the best. Ok ok, it was a good run declare our GM’s – here’s to the hares, they’re true blue…
Next week’s rescue run?Hand Bag is in, so we know its Pasir Ris, but which car park? It’s a new run from car park C! What a pity – he will now have to save it up for the post Covid19 re-emergence of the hash, hopefully in May.
How about a Hare Whip? Sperm Off Ice is in, and explains how we normally use chalk for directionality, but his co-hare – PML, could only provide the tiniest knob of chalk imaginable. So perhaps that explains why Harry the v neck guy with the very hairy chest or is that hairy crotch, turned right b4 the drinks stop, and was seen racing the German guy back to the beer truck? They’re the meanest, they…. And given the panic buying, SOI was also a bit light on toilet paper, but he somehow managed to scrape together 3 rolls, now worth a fortune. But the charge is really for his co-hare – PML, and her woeful contribution of that tiny knob of chalk – B.I.M.B.O….. And next Father Fitzy reminds us it’s St. Patrick’s day, and so why is Saliva wearing a blue Scottish shirt? Hashy b’day….. So let’s now get all the green shirts in – is this a new Thai political movement? Let’s sing them a special Irish song – “as she wheeled her wheelbarrow, through the streets broad and narrow, crying cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh….
Strapless doesn’t forget our visitors, better late than never. On in - Pink Fanny, Sperm Off Ice, Microscopic, Pauline, Bend Over Rover, Sperm Bank, Geoffrey, Le and Raphael. The French gal – Pauline, can’t remember her hash name, but let’s give them all a song nonetheless – here’s to the guests, they’re true blue….
And now, it’s time, for, the, Mystery, Whip??? Ayam Zinking is in – speak English, followed by – Germans have no sense of humor…… Now apparently the first thing Ayam Zinking holds in the morning is his phone. And Posh Pussy says, don’t you hold something else first? So anyway, Ayam Zinking opened his phone this mrn, and checked out Facebook. And he was shocked by what he saw, so he immediately called his wife to do some explaining. I know why your calling she exclaims – it’s those incriminating pictures on Facebook! On in Pink Fanny for being the photo poser and gettingAyam Zinking in the dog house. And still on cameras and surveillance, Ayam Zinking calls in Zing, who has been videoing proceedings in the circle – she ought to be publicly…..
PoTW? He got married and now he’s useless.